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judecorpLet's find a rock. I need a big ass rock.
Maybe something like a cinder block is better.
I'll hoist it up and drop it on your face, my buddy.
Just before the lights go out,
You'll see my smile and you'll know you've got a friend,
With a rock, who cares.
I mean a big ass rock. Or a rope. I got some quality rope.
Made for a man who's devoid of hope, like you are,
My buddy, Michael. (Uhh, that's Malcolm!) (Yeah, Malcolm, right.)
And I won't leave you swinging there,
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air.
I'll grab your feet, pal of mine,
I'll pull real hard and SNAP your spinal cord.
This world is cold when you're alone, and they ignore you,
But don't kill yourself... we'll do it for you.
You've got a friend. You've got a friend.
[You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel and sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch said? "Drop dead, asshole."
People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor, and drill me with a 6 inch nail right through the eye... (What did he say?) "I'm low on nails." (People are selfish pricks!)
And another time, now get this, I laid down in front of a steamroller, and I asked the guy just to proceed, you know business as usual, and just squash me like a bug. A good way to go Jer, the old bug-squash.
Hey, we could tie an old plastic laundry bag over his head! (No, that's such a wimp suicide.)
I stuck my finger in a socket once, hurt real bad... but it didn't kill me. (Malcolm, stay out of this.)]
I've got a friend, like Carole King,
Or was it Carly Simon used to sing?
I always get those two confused.
But anyway, I turned around, and suddenly
I'm not alone, it ain't just me.
I'm like a player on the team,
I'm part of the gang, a member of the club. (Welcome to the club!)
Ooh! Let's get a club. (I liked the big ass rock.)
Nah, one good swing and I'll clean his clock, forever.
Let gravity do the work.
It's a man's way to die, Mikey. (Malcolm!)
I've got friends - friends who will love you like a maniac,
And leave you like a lamb to a railroad track,
Tie you down, whack! We'll tickle your wrist with a single-edge razor, we'll buy you a beer with a Drano chaser, we'll dump you in the river with a rock. A big ass rock. (There's a nice one right over here.) (Hey, can I give you a hand with that? Looks heavy.) (Nah, Dave. It ain't heavy... he's my friend.)
Come on! Group hug!
Maybe something like a cinder block is better.
I'll hoist it up and drop it on your face, my buddy.
Just before the lights go out,
You'll see my smile and you'll know you've got a friend,
With a rock, who cares.
I mean a big ass rock. Or a rope. I got some quality rope.
Made for a man who's devoid of hope, like you are,
My buddy, Michael. (Uhh, that's Malcolm!) (Yeah, Malcolm, right.)
And I won't leave you swinging there,
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air.
I'll grab your feet, pal of mine,
I'll pull real hard and SNAP your spinal cord.
This world is cold when you're alone, and they ignore you,
But don't kill yourself... we'll do it for you.
You've got a friend. You've got a friend.
[You know, I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel and sending me over the falls. You know what the son of a bitch said? "Drop dead, asshole."
People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor, and drill me with a 6 inch nail right through the eye... (What did he say?) "I'm low on nails." (People are selfish pricks!)
And another time, now get this, I laid down in front of a steamroller, and I asked the guy just to proceed, you know business as usual, and just squash me like a bug. A good way to go Jer, the old bug-squash.
Hey, we could tie an old plastic laundry bag over his head! (No, that's such a wimp suicide.)
I stuck my finger in a socket once, hurt real bad... but it didn't kill me. (Malcolm, stay out of this.)]
I've got a friend, like Carole King,
Or was it Carly Simon used to sing?
I always get those two confused.
But anyway, I turned around, and suddenly
I'm not alone, it ain't just me.
I'm like a player on the team,
I'm part of the gang, a member of the club. (Welcome to the club!)
Ooh! Let's get a club. (I liked the big ass rock.)
Nah, one good swing and I'll clean his clock, forever.
Let gravity do the work.
It's a man's way to die, Mikey. (Malcolm!)
I've got friends - friends who will love you like a maniac,
And leave you like a lamb to a railroad track,
Tie you down, whack! We'll tickle your wrist with a single-edge razor, we'll buy you a beer with a Drano chaser, we'll dump you in the river with a rock. A big ass rock. (There's a nice one right over here.) (Hey, can I give you a hand with that? Looks heavy.) (Nah, Dave. It ain't heavy... he's my friend.)
Come on! Group hug!
