A night out

[judecorp]

Last night we drove out to Shutesbury to hang out with some good friends.

Pros:
Good friends!
Pizza!
Conversation!
Toddlers playing!
Cuteness!

Cons:
Oh Em Gee, the roads out there!
Getting stuck trying to get out of their driveway!
Punk going to sleep at 9pm!
Did I mention the roads?

I feel kind of bad because I can see them comparing their son to my daughter. I mean, that's natural - parents compare. But Punk has two months on him, and she is exceedingly verbal (way more than "normal") and not a good comparison. Also, their son is very physically gifted and is much more sure-footed and coordinated than Punk is, and is able to climb up on stuff which Punk most certainly can not. Sigh. But I still feel bad because I hear them saying things like, "Oh my god, did you just hear her count to 10?" or "Dude, she knows the ABCs!" or whatever and I feel bad. Like, really bad. Because their kid is so awesome and I don't want them to think he should be doing stuff just like I don't think I should get myself bent because Punk can't climb onto the couch yet. (Damned muscle tone.)

But the worst was getting stuck in that freaking snow bank! ARGH!!!

Comments

[geniusorafool.livejournal.com]

Shutesbury! I didn't think anyone actually LIVED in Shutesbury. Every time I zipped down route 202 during a weekend trip to see Gloria at ZOOMass, I'd say to myself, "Does anyone actually LIVE here?"

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I think my friends are the only ones!!

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

I have to say I'm very glad I no longer live there. I don't think I would have come down the mountain for most of this winter.

Punk is amazingly verbal, she's a very smart kid. I've never heard a kid her age count to anything.

How do you resist the comparisons? The whole babyhood/early childhood system is set up to make comparisons, kids are supposed to reach milestones at certain ages, if they go quickly, they're early, if they go slower, they're late.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Punk is a little ridiculous with the verbal skills, which is kind of funny considering that she didn't start out that way. She was saying her one or two words at 12-13 months or whatever and now she just won't stop talking! Today she said, "Oh, shoot!" HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Yeah, I hadn't thought about the milestone system but what you say makes a lot of sense. I have a hard time avoiding the mental checklist of milestones and averages because of what I do for work, and I /do/ get hung up on certain things. Thankfully gross motor skills aren't one of them, har har.

She says the numbers, but doesn't really COUNT. It's funny, though! I'm prepping her to be a math nerd like me.

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

She was doing the finger thing as she was saying the numbers...I'm sure she doesn't understand exactly how the numbers work, but I think she is starting to count. Then again, maybe she's naming her fingers one, two, three... she sure had me fooled!

[skatured.livejournal.com]

I was just talking about the comparing thing with my friend yesterday morning. And it isn't fair -- I mean the kids don't really care it's just you and the other person making yourselves feel bad. Even if your kid is better at something then it makes you feel kind of bad for them because their kid isn't. If that makes any sense.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's totally just mama guilt that makes the comparisons happen. And then somehow when the kids get older, they start comparing, too! Ugh!

I'm not one of those "can't keep score so the teams don't feel bad" people but I really do think we don't spend enough time celebrating accomplishments and effort instead of just what isn't happening.

Also, Morella is walking! Yay! Video!

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

Hannah was advanced in verbal and reading skills for her age(s) too, and I never compared her to any other kids. If she was ahead then, she was ahead then. If she wasn't, she wasn't.

We spent a lot of time reading and working with her to help her become verbal and learn to read, but that doesn't make us better or worse parents. You two are doing fine. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not a huge comparer. But I've found myself being kind of... well, embarrassed is not the right word, but bashful maybe? guarded? about how verbal Punk is. I guess I don't want people to "feel bad" or some other stupid guilty thing. Must be because I grew up Catholic.