Fatherless on Father's Day
Jun. 15th, 2009 12:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpSo Father's Day is next weekend, and I'm finding myself at a bit of a loss.
It's been four years now since my father died, and now it's been two months (yesterday) since my grandfather died. I am so used to at least celebrating /something/ for Father's Day, and now what? It's been four years since I bought anything for my father, and now I don't even have to scout around for that perfect gift for Grandpa. Super sad.
Jen's father is alive (and well), but I don't usually take responsibility for that - she usually gets a card or whatever and I always concentrated on my side of the family. And I can't imagine not having Punk do some little Father's Day thing. I'm sure they will make something at day care (not sure; we started after Father's Day last year) and then what do we do with it?
My mother has been married to a man for 24 years. I do not consider him a father figure. Is that odd? This man has been in my life for 24+ years. I have never called him my step-father, only my "mother's husband." I did not live with them. I did not spend a ton of time with him. I saw my mother on Saturdays and John was often working. He was not parental; it was not his thing. He refers to himself as "Poppa John" WRT Punk. (Not to be confused with the pizza, I suppose.)
Should I send him something from Punk? I didn't last year. I have never sent him anything Father's Day related from myself. But when it comes to my side of the family now, he is the only grandfather-ly person Punk has.
That feels so odd to me. Fatherless on Father's Day. Punk has always been fatherless and I know how to deal with that, because we planned for that... but not for me.
Phooey.
It's been four years now since my father died, and now it's been two months (yesterday) since my grandfather died. I am so used to at least celebrating /something/ for Father's Day, and now what? It's been four years since I bought anything for my father, and now I don't even have to scout around for that perfect gift for Grandpa. Super sad.
Jen's father is alive (and well), but I don't usually take responsibility for that - she usually gets a card or whatever and I always concentrated on my side of the family. And I can't imagine not having Punk do some little Father's Day thing. I'm sure they will make something at day care (not sure; we started after Father's Day last year) and then what do we do with it?
My mother has been married to a man for 24 years. I do not consider him a father figure. Is that odd? This man has been in my life for 24+ years. I have never called him my step-father, only my "mother's husband." I did not live with them. I did not spend a ton of time with him. I saw my mother on Saturdays and John was often working. He was not parental; it was not his thing. He refers to himself as "Poppa John" WRT Punk. (Not to be confused with the pizza, I suppose.)
Should I send him something from Punk? I didn't last year. I have never sent him anything Father's Day related from myself. But when it comes to my side of the family now, he is the only grandfather-ly person Punk has.
That feels so odd to me. Fatherless on Father's Day. Punk has always been fatherless and I know how to deal with that, because we planned for that... but not for me.
Phooey.
