Too much sorrow

[judecorp]

This has been a hell of a week. My emotions are just... I don't even know. There are just too many emotions.

Yesterday a friend of mine went in for her scheduled induction and learned that her baby had died sometime in the last 24 or so hours. She had gone in the day before for a non-stress test and everything was fine. Perfect, even. How the hell does this happen? I am still super shaken about it, the unfairness of it all but also that awful niggling feeling that you can NEVER be sure that everything is going to be okay. Two years ago, in this same circle of (online) friends, a friend died after child birth from an amniotic embolism. It just brings back so many memories - so many of the same people saying, "Oh my god!" or trying to mobilize.

On Monday my beloved child care provider had a biopsy in her breast after a routine mammogram. Yesterday she was very upbeat and positive, saying that the person who did the biopsy was saying that there was a major increase in biopsies since they switched to a new digital machine. Today she left me a message that child care is closing tomorrow by 2:45 because she has to go in to talk to a doctor right away. To say that I am freaking out is an understatement.

It just seems like I have been stuck in Low Tide since my grandfather told us he had pancreatic cancer in February. Everything is just low, low, low. I feel all washed out and swept out to sea. My sandy shore is full of rocks and abandoned shellfish.

Comments

There are no words

[redwink.livejournal.com]

HUGS.

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

My ex and I used to joke about hiding in bed under a pile of coats. Some days that sounds pretty good.

Other days, we saddle up and face it again one more time.

I'll be holding you and yours in the light.

Hugs

[(Anonymous)]

It has been one hell of a week, hasn't it. I still can't wrap my head around it, don't know if I ever will. One thing I do know, is I am honored to be a part of our group and to call all of you my friends.

I am sorry the bad things keep coming for you. I will pray for your daycare provider and for you.

Love...Valerie

[violane.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about all the loss. My aunt's biopsy just came back as (breast) cancer, so I understand the lost feelings. She's such a hypochondriac and we were all sure this would be nothing. I hate it that we can't prepare for or predict anything.

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

There are just some things in this world that cannot be explained and the death of a child is one of them. I'm so sad for your friend. It's beyond my understanding :(

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

*hugs and love*

[stapynam.livejournal.com]

.

[kaleidoscopeeye.livejournal.com]

The times have indeed been full of sad stuff.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

That is all so sad. I'm sorry :(

[bookgrrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm so so sorry.

[hetterrific.livejournal.com]

I am so, so sorry.

Yesterday a surgeon, anesthesiologist, and I were talking about the saying, "One day at a time..." I said I hated that saying because the next thing you know you look back and there's a whole year's worth of "one day at a times" and you've missed a lot. We decided that what we should really be saying, is "find something great about today."

It doesn't seem right/fair that so many seemingly bad things happen to seemingly good people. Just take it as a cue to be so thankful for the good things in your life, but stay humble.

[coveryourears.livejournal.com]

Much Love to you and yours. I will be holding you and your friends in light and love.

[geniusorafool.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I've been saying this over and over lately - "this too shall pass".

[zen-grrl-zen.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[checkingmypulse.livejournal.com]

SO much sorrow. it's just unfuckingfair.

[ladysapphire.livejournal.com]

(((((((((((big hug))))))))))))))) my sister's best friend lost her baby... a few days over due.... during labor.. which happened to be the day after my sister gave birth to my niece.... i cannot imagine a pain worse than that.