The world of attachment parenting on LJ

[judecorp]

I am always amused by "all or nothing" ideals, especially about parenting which is NEVER all or nothing. And I am endlessly amused by the "attachment parenting" community on LJ.

Did you know that you can't really be an attached parent if you don't breastfeed? And that an attached parent always keeps the baby in the sling instead of the baby bucket?

I'd love to see one of these "attached parent gurus" pull the newborn baby out of the bucket which is in the warm car, shove him in a sling, walk him up to the preschool for the 5 minute preschool drop-off/pick-up, then cram him BACK into the bucket for the drive home, instead of leaving him sleeping inside his warm little bucket and putting him back without him even knowing he was in a preschool.

But what do I know? My kid drinks out of a bottle so we're not bonded anyway.

/snark

Comments

[whuffle.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah... Right there with ya.

[(Anonymous)]

What exactly are they attached to, anyway?

From my viewpoint, they're attached to their own sense of superiority. And being smug. And myopia. Because it's completely impossible that a single adoptive father, for example, might ascribe to the attachment parenting model. Or a cancer survivor who's been through a double mastectomy. Oh no, if they're not breastfeeding they aren't welcome in the club.

Know that you're more than welcome in the club of people who practice common sense parenting (like letting a sleeping baby stay in the bucket) AND love their children intensely.

[projectkjetil.wordpress.com (from livejournal.com)]

Oops, above was me. Forgot to sign in.

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

Brilliant.

[etherial.livejournal.com]

So, "attachment parenting" = "codependent parenting"?

[sans-visage.livejournal.com]

Seriously, wtf. It is minus a billion degrees here. How can i be expected to take my baby out of his seat, struggle to put him in a carrier, walk the entire parking lot to get to the mall wihout freezing him? And then when we are done, im supposed to jam warm cuddly baby into a FREEZING car seat and buckle him up and drive away? Im all for wearing my baby, but that ideal is unrealistic for us!

[tea-soaked.livejournal.com]

I know. I know.

I didn't co-sleep with Carys after a month because she slept better on her own... and still does... in fact, whenn tired she will ask us to leave her alone - really.

No co-sleepy = no attachy... haha

They forget that attachment parenting is really about figuring out what works for your kid because meeting their needs in the moment and/or longterm fosters attachment... not a long list of what you should do (according to Sears).

I did see in one of those communities a mom write that she couldn't call herself an attachment parent because she didn't do such and such, but she did do x y and z so maybe...

I just want to scream, "It isn't a list people..."

Strollers, car seats, baby holding devices (swings, etc.), make a lot of sense for me and baby #2 - so I am using them and we are still attached. :)

[enchantedmagic.livejournal.com]

I don't believe in co sleeping- at all- therefore I suck!

Has everyone seen "away we go"? because there is a scene in it that's hysterical!! Reminds me of this.

[jeney.livejournal.com]

DON'T GET ME STARTED.

[kjames.livejournal.com]

*like*

[calledmara.livejournal.com]

why do you hate your baby?

[kaleidoscopeeye.livejournal.com]

*snort*

[hepkitten.livejournal.com]

the funniest part about the attachment parenting sectors in our social/school community, was watching all their kids turn and start hating them at age 12. like clockwork.

my kids love me so much they never leave me alone. you know why? cuz i didnt waste a bunch of time worrying about whether im parenting according to the right rules for what parenting subculture clique i desired to be in and just spent time hanging out with my kids. turns out that works 1000000x better than the best sling money can buy.

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

Oh I was SUCH the perfect attachment parent while I was still pregnant with my first child. *sigh* Now, though? HA.

Breastfeeding was easy for me, so I guess i get points for that. We cloth diaper too. . . mostly. . . when we're at home. . . except overnight. So maybe half a point there. I do OWN a sling, and I use it sometimes, like when I'm grocery shopping at Costco and I can't see over the carseat snapped into the giant cart. Or when he's screaming. But! I have been known to put the kid down awake and let him cry for a couple minutes to go to sleep. And my elder daughter watches an amount of Spongebob that would surely SCANDALIZE Dr. Sears.

I love Dr. Sears, actually, and I give the Baby Book as a baby shower present all the time. But I tell parents "None of the advice in here will hurt your baby or be wrong for your baby in any way. But, if taken dogmatically, it can be bad for YOU. So read the chapter on twins, where he pretty much says 'Do your best for pete's sake people, there are TWO of them,' and then apply that philosophy to all your parenting.

[hetterrific.livejournal.com]

You're a terrible parent and you kids are going to have all sorts of issues. I can say this because I'm a part of your family, I live in you house and I share your life. It's ridiculous.

[theshapeshifter.livejournal.com]

That shit drove me nuts too. I had the baby who treated any attempts to put him in a sling like I was trying to boil him in oil, but who actually enjoyed riding in the stroller from about 2 months on. (And a stroller that faced away from me! Horrors!)

[amyura.livejournal.com]

I'm a pretty crunchy hippie, but there's a cadre of 'em down in Plymouth and on the Cape who take it to an EXTREME. Unschooling, grind their own wheat, have no interests that don't involve being a hardcore AP parent.

I think it's cruel to take a baby out of the bucket just to make a point. Your baby is warm and probably pretty relaxed after a car ride. Why upset that nice equilibrium?

[xbabymakes3x.livejournal.com]

That's where I went totally wrong with my July 2007 baby...belonging to the breastfeeding community. I was doing everything I could and then some and it was never "good enough." So much more relaxed with the 2nd even though I still feel alot of the time that "I'm doing it all wrong."
Are you Similac? I have a $10 check.

[kinsey-six.livejournal.com]

one person's ideals =/= everyone's ideals. people need to worry about what works for them and not what other people should do.

[stapynam.livejournal.com]

My personal fav: strollers are the devil.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_journey/]

Ha. Those people should try having triplets. That cuts the wheat from the chaff - my mantra when I'm dealing with 3 screaming babies? I do what I can, with love. But much more importantly: congrats on the arrival of your sweet baby boy. Your children are truly blessed to have you as a parent, and that's all that matters in the end,