First World Problems

[judecorp]

I am drowning. In a sea of First World Problems, but I am still drowning.

We applied for financial aid for Punk's fancypants Montessori preschool and they offered us a $2000 scholarship for next year. Unfortunately, that's not enough for us to feasibly send her to that school, the school she loves that has been very good for her this year in terms of keeping her stimulated and also encouraging her out of her comfort zone (Punk does not like to do anything that she thinks is "hard"). It was such a good fit for her and even though she is the youngest in her class this year, you would never know it and she is very comfortable there. But it is so expensive and with a second now in day care, there's just no way we can pay the price tag. We really needed $5000 off to make it work. I have her parent-teacher conference on Monday and I will probably bawl my way through it.

On top of that, going back to work totally sucks. I mean, the people at my job are happy to see me, and the kids I returned to are happy to see me, but my heart is not in it, my head is not in it, and I don't get nearly enough sleep to be able to effectively use my brain in that way. I am sort of floating through the job which isn't really working when I am taking countless referrals and doing tons of intakes, which generate tons of paperwork and involve tons of thinking/diagnosing/making treatment plans. I would really just rather be home with my kids, especially since I won't even be able to send Punk to the place I love next year.

Part of me would like to find another job, or go back to the Early Intervention stuff I loved and felt super competent at, but then I remember that this job gives me summers off to be with my kids and I feel like I have to stay there forever. It just all seems so heavy right now.

My most beloved cat, Daedalus, has recently started losing fur in little clumps on both sides of his body. It doesn't look like an allergy or a reaction or a fungus or anything, it is just falling out. And I am terrified that something is dreadfully wrong with him, so soon after Ralphie died. I don't think I can handle it.

I'm just in way over my head and I don't really know what to do. One foot in front of the other, I guess, but it's just so hard on so little sleep. I feel like I start the day already almost entirely out of coping skills just by having to haul myself up out of an exhausted stupor, and then to be totally swamped at work and not thrilled about where my kids are going to be, etc. It is too much.

Comments

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

:(

I am mostly off the Internet, I am doing writing retreat week and am car less and swamped until next week, but if you want to hang out adn have a chat next week, lemme know.

Also, Scout has regularly had bald spots, she chews her fur off. It's a stress reaction. Are you swure it's coming out in clumps, that he's not chewing it off? If it is fallign out, it could be thyroid, super common in cats and no big deal. I hope he's Ok. :(

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am going to try to get Big D into the vet on Saturday and hopefully he thinks it's no big deal.

[theshapeshifter.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I totally feel you.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

You know Devin didn't go to a Montessori preschool. I used to be worried about it but now he,s at the same level as the montesorri kids in first grade. In kindergarten he was a bit behind those kids I'd say but ever since first grade he's now on the same level. So really, why pay a fortune to send your kids to montessori when they learn the same things in kindergarten?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't think that montessori education is a be all and end all, and I'm totally open to a more reasonable preschool. I just haven't found one locally that provides as good of an experience. For starters, they go outside all the time, never watch any kind of television, there is a huge multicultural and peace curriculum which I love, and they really encourage her to try things she is reluctant to try. The "preschool" where Elias goes to day care is just a giant room full of preschoolers and a huge mess of toys, and it's kind of a free-for-all, and they watch movies sometimes. I am not thrilled. So I guess I'll be trying to get her into other preschools that are probably already full. YUCK.

[capricious05.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that..
I hope the situation improves soon.

[sandokai.livejournal.com]

I hope it gets easier... maybe the school can give her a larger scholarship?

How old is your youngest one?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We are going to e-mail the business manager and the school director and see if there is any more money... but I know they have a lot of kids they have to give scholarships to and they prioritize the elementary kids rather than the preschoolers (which I totally get). Can't hurt to try, though. Maybe I will see if there is anything they will barter; my wife did a heck of a lot of free graphic design for them over this school year and maybe they will see us as an investment. If not, I'm sure we will find something else, it is just stressful and I'm already not thrilled with where my baby is going to day care. (He is four months old tomorrow!)

[rexlezard.livejournal.com]

Also, I know it's not ideal, and not exactly what you want, but if you were thinking about working one or two days a week this summer, if that's even a possibility, I would be interested in exploring a child care swap. Just an idear.

Also, I'm home tonight, but car less and if you wanted to come here and we could walk to ice cream at Friendly's.... or herrell's or...but I totes understand if you'd rather sleep.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I will think about it - that's a good offer but I will also be watching Punk's BFF for some of the summer so it's not realistic to try to work a day a week because then I wouldn't be able to take BFF. And I already committed to that. However, I could def do it when I don't have BFF and use some of that time to catch up on paperwork over the summer so I'm not swamped if/when I go back. That could work.

Thanks!

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I hope things turn around soon. That's hard stuff.

Thinking of you.

[michael622.livejournal.com]

When I read things like this, it makes me sad. :( Have you talked to Jen, maybe see if she can alleviate some of the stress on you? Good sleep is vital ... it's only now that I have my sleep machine that I realize how bad off I was without it.

[kaleidoscopeeye.livejournal.com]

1) breathe.

2) hugs

3) lack of sleep is debilitating.

4) you can find a great school that you and she will love for a lot less money, I am sure of it.

5) more hugs

[sarahaubry.livejournal.com]

I am sorry, mama. it surely sucks when the things that we want are out of reach.