judecorp | This is different for me...

So I was out, in a room full of people. And the dance floor was positively packed with people, jammed even, to the point that I was pressed against all kinds of people who were heavily intoxicated. And I was with Cary, whom I love dearly. And they were playing some of my favorite songs. They even played REM's "Superman" and OMD's "If You Leave."

And it was fun for a while, really it was, but then I got to realizing that there was only one person I wanted to be with right then. And the crowd, and my friend, and even being beergoggled by a girl who thought I was a boy during "Just Can't Get Enough" which I really /really/ love... it just wasn't enough.

Because I missed her. I missed her terribly. I wanted to lean against her and dance with her and have her roll her eyes at how silly I was. And when I hid behind Cary's shoulder when he said how great and exciting and wonderful it was for him to see me all goofy in love... well, she would have loved that. And I wanted to kiss her. Oh, goth did I want that.

And so for the first time ever, I think, in my whole existance, I was alone in a crowded room. Me. The social butterfly.

Now I'm going to crawl into my bed with my thighs tired from dancing and my worn-out knees aching and my ears ringing from the music, and if I'm lucky, if I'm /really/ lucky, I can imagine the spicy citrus smell of her, and the feel of her soft skin against my fingertips. Maybe if I close my eyes I can feel the other side of the bed sagging under the weight of her (instead of the cats). Maybe if I wish hard enough, she'll be there in the morning, and her back will be to me, and I can press my cheek against her pajamas.