Who was that girl?
Apr. 11th, 2002 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpThere used to be a woman in these pants, and I don't know who she is. I look back on my life here in Columbus and it really seems unlike one continuous path - it's much more like there was a person who was walking a path, and something happened to her. She died, and then all of a sudden there was a new person, never the two shall meet and all that.
I moved here over Memorial Day weekend 2000, still a few months before A's and my first wedding anniversary. I was a "newlywed," a Mrs., a girl trying to build a life with someone else. I became an office temp. I looked forward to school. I set up an apartment. I set out to learn the layout of Columbus. I helped A. go from being a temp to having an actual real job.
I started school and couldn't get used to being called on in the middle of the attendance sheet. I befriended a number of sweet, average, heterosexual girl friends - Christen and Katie and Amy and Crystal, but the one I was closest to was Sonal.
Sonal would come over to study with me, to do work with me (she had a much better study ethic than I did). We called each other at least twice a week. We went out or did something almost every week - a movie, a bar, one or the other's house. We went for walks around my apartment complex and talked about our significant others - A. and Bruce. I told her we never had sex, that I didn't like it, that I preferred women physically. But I was still the married girl and that was okay.
Sonal doesn't talk to me anymore. She's in my Crisis Intervention class and doesn't even say hello to me. Neither does Amy. Christen and Katie say hello. Crystal makes small talk. We never make plans. I have no idea what is going on in their lives. Amy and Tim got engaged last Christmas. Sonal is now ready to marry Bruce. Christen is still single, and looking. Crystal and her husband bought a house. Me? I'm no longer "one of them," and I don't think they know what to do with me. I'm the girl who was married who now isn't, who used to have hair and now doesn't, who used to go to Byrne's with her male significant other and now doesn't, who used to be in the group and now is surrounded by new friends.
I think it started when I did my first field placement at Stonewall. I remember remarking in February of 2001 that I didn't think Sonal and I would be friends much longer. But she still said hello to me, then, still made lame attempts to keep up with small talk.
Today in April of 2002, the girl who wears these pants is about to graduate. She's moving to Boston. Her name would not be in the middle of the attendance sheet. She's working a different job in the queer community. She's got a significant other they have no idea about, and a group of friends and colleagues who she can relate to for real, not just out of desire to be what she thought he wanted. And you know something? You wouldn't like her, Sonal, and that's totally cool.
I moved here over Memorial Day weekend 2000, still a few months before A's and my first wedding anniversary. I was a "newlywed," a Mrs., a girl trying to build a life with someone else. I became an office temp. I looked forward to school. I set up an apartment. I set out to learn the layout of Columbus. I helped A. go from being a temp to having an actual real job.
I started school and couldn't get used to being called on in the middle of the attendance sheet. I befriended a number of sweet, average, heterosexual girl friends - Christen and Katie and Amy and Crystal, but the one I was closest to was Sonal.
Sonal would come over to study with me, to do work with me (she had a much better study ethic than I did). We called each other at least twice a week. We went out or did something almost every week - a movie, a bar, one or the other's house. We went for walks around my apartment complex and talked about our significant others - A. and Bruce. I told her we never had sex, that I didn't like it, that I preferred women physically. But I was still the married girl and that was okay.
Sonal doesn't talk to me anymore. She's in my Crisis Intervention class and doesn't even say hello to me. Neither does Amy. Christen and Katie say hello. Crystal makes small talk. We never make plans. I have no idea what is going on in their lives. Amy and Tim got engaged last Christmas. Sonal is now ready to marry Bruce. Christen is still single, and looking. Crystal and her husband bought a house. Me? I'm no longer "one of them," and I don't think they know what to do with me. I'm the girl who was married who now isn't, who used to have hair and now doesn't, who used to go to Byrne's with her male significant other and now doesn't, who used to be in the group and now is surrounded by new friends.
I think it started when I did my first field placement at Stonewall. I remember remarking in February of 2001 that I didn't think Sonal and I would be friends much longer. But she still said hello to me, then, still made lame attempts to keep up with small talk.
Today in April of 2002, the girl who wears these pants is about to graduate. She's moving to Boston. Her name would not be in the middle of the attendance sheet. She's working a different job in the queer community. She's got a significant other they have no idea about, and a group of friends and colleagues who she can relate to for real, not just out of desire to be what she thought he wanted. And you know something? You wouldn't like her, Sonal, and that's totally cool.
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Date: 2002-04-11 07:10 pm (UTC)cool post, nonetheless. :-)
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Date: 2002-04-11 07:43 pm (UTC)It's unfortunately you and your old friends drifted apart though. Or they chose to distance themselves from you. Whatever.
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Date: 2002-04-12 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-12 06:34 am (UTC)*hugs*
-I- Like her!
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2002-04-12 06:24 am (UTC)Re: *hugs*
Date: 2002-04-13 10:03 am (UTC)Now and for always! whether you like it or not!
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Date: 2002-04-12 06:01 am (UTC)We're gonna miss you when you move to boston. *nods*
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Date: 2002-04-12 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-12 06:57 am (UTC)We're also having a housewarming party sometime in May or June. Whenever we get our act together after we move. :-) I'll make sure it's before you leave.
We also need to have a baby shower for
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Date: 2002-04-12 07:12 am (UTC)Sounds like a lot of fun! Good thing I don't have a lot of papers to write this quarter (just two). :)
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Date: 2002-04-12 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-12 07:12 am (UTC)THAT WOULD BE SO HOT!
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Date: 2002-04-12 08:59 am (UTC)You know, it really doesn't matter about what those people you went to school with, etc, think.
In all honesty, when you first met them... you weren't the person you are now (situation-wise, I have never known you personality-wise to be anything but awesome! But I digress...) And shame on them for not hanging in there. They weren't worth the time.
Boston! Wooo! Closer to me closer to me closer to me! :)
Love ya much!
Don't you pick up The Girl tonight? Lucky lucky.
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And you are not the only person excited that we will be closer. I can't wait! We will have to go out and do fun things - yeah! :)
It will be great to see you again, Ms. Kyoki Tenchi.
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Date: 2002-04-12 10:57 am (UTC)naked?Woo!I, myself, cannot wait either.
Hanging with The Jude rocks solid!
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Date: 2002-04-12 06:41 pm (UTC)I think she has THE WONDERFUL and THE CARING and THE UNDERSTANDING and THE COMFY SHOULDER and THE HONEST and THE SMURF.
Amoung other things, of course. =)
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Date: 2002-04-14 09:48 am (UTC)