I would have to guess it's because feeling like you're failing something or someone (even when you're not - and I don't think you are) makes you feel like a jerk. But sometimes, you just need to do what's right for you, and not worry so much about everyone else around you. And that is really, really hard to do when it means not living up to the ideals you've set for yourself about being the best person/friend/wife/whatever that you can be, or not living up to the expectations other people have set up for you.
I'm sorry you feel like a jerk. I don't think you're acting like one, though.
Do what you have to do, m'dear. I'll miss you, and THE KITCHEN TABLE will be cold without you, but... I'll see you on the other end of the hiatus, yes?
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Date: 2002-05-03 02:19 pm (UTC)Step back, breathe, find your place in the universe again.
These are all good things.
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Date: 2002-05-03 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-03 08:38 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you feel like a jerk. I don't think you're acting like one, though.
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Date: 2002-05-04 09:51 am (UTC)I don't care so much if I am as long as the people I love are. And well, right now no one is happy.
That can't be good.
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Date: 2002-05-03 02:26 pm (UTC)Do what you have to do, m'dear. I'll miss you, and THE KITCHEN TABLE will be cold without you, but... I'll see you on the other end of the hiatus, yes?
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Date: 2002-05-03 02:31 pm (UTC)Gender, I'm a bender, bye bi girl.
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Date: 2002-05-03 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-03 03:47 pm (UTC)mmmpoop
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Date: 2002-05-03 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-03 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-03 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-03 08:24 pm (UTC)scintillate
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Date: 2002-05-03 08:39 pm (UTC)exacerbate
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Date: 2002-05-03 08:47 pm (UTC)circumspect
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Date: 2002-05-03 09:00 pm (UTC)namby-pamby
Re:
Date: 2002-05-03 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 11:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-04 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-05 06:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-05 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-03 08:59 pm (UTC)disjointed
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Date: 2002-05-03 09:04 pm (UTC)UGH!
Date: 2002-05-03 09:06 pm (UTC)It is one of my least favorite words ever.