If you have a file-sharing program

GET THIS SONG NOW.

It rocks.

Thanks, kungfoogirl!!

A day of closure.

Today is Foo's last day as a Gold Belt. You can do it, amazing soon-to-be-green-belted girl! You have worked way hard for this!

Today is Hyacinth's last day in the odious temp job as Claims Clerk. Remove the yoke of servitude and concentrate on your dreams again, dear.

Today is officially the last day of Summer Quarter, which is one giant leap closer to the magical day of 1 September that will end (in my mind) the Summer of Suck. Two As and Two Ss. Not too shabby, considering. Today is the last day that I will spend three days/week at field placement. Today is the day I email a reminder to the people at GLBTSS that they want to give me their job.

Today is Friday, which means another week of tedium is passing. Today is Supervision, which means I can air out my frustrations about my clients. Today Princess asked me to leave a message on her voicemail, just because. I have a good one in mind. Tonight, 'stina is going to call me to tell me all about the belt test. Today I go to the library to pick up the copy of _Choke_ by Chuck Palahniuk that I have been waiting for forever. (I was number 73 in the reserve line.)

It's only 8:20ish AM, and I'm feeling pretty darned hopeful about today. Jodie and I were talking nicely again last night, and Jodie and Mark seemed to be airing some stuff out, too. I learned a valuable lesson about needing. I traded MP3s. I got a card in the mail with nothing but a perfectly pressed purple kiss-mark. That was a first.

August 24th. 7 more days of summer. But these are going to be good ones.

Last night's dream

It was awful. It was way more connected to my waking life than my dreams ever are. In my dream, everyone was upset with me. They were all yelling. For some reason, we were all in this big room. Aaron was telling me all of the things that were 'wrong' with me, and I was so upset and angry, but then he was telling me he wanted to get back together, and I was the bad guy for saying no. And Jodie was mad at me, and Mark and I were fighting, and my Grandmother was there telling me all about how she told me I would make a crappy wife and there was something wrong with me and it was because I wasn't girly and she always knew, always knew. And I kept trying to call people that weren't in the room, people from OSU and other places, and no one would answer, or if they did, they would hang up on me.

I woke up with my heart pounding in my throat and hot tears behind my eyes. It was 3AM. And in the inky subspace between waking and dreaming when everything is so real, I almost called Mark, to apologize. To remind me that people care about me.

It was terrifying.

(p.s. Today has still been a kick ass day. I am eating chocolate ice cream for lunch, and am talking to Luke and Christina. YAY!)

How I long to fall, just a little bit

To dance out of the lines
And stray from the light.
But I fear that to fall in love with you
Is to fall from a great and gruesome height.