Bravery!

I did a brave thing today. I made an appointment for a haircut. Why is this brave, especially since I really need one? It's brave, dear friends, because my ear is still VERY sore, and sticks way out, and is begging to be brushed and snipped and clipped and whacked and bumped.

Please oh please oh please let this not happen! I go tomorrow at 2. Think of me!

I am going to this place that Coworker Hope mentioned to me once, instead of the cheap-o walk-in place I usually go to. So I should, like, actually get something /done/ to my hair. We'll see. I want my brother's haircut, but somehow I think that would be a little /too/ much 'walking in Baga's shoes.' Hee. Suggestions? (With photos would be best. Yeah!)

Maybe when I head down toward campus I should check and see what my books are for next quarter. Maybe I should eat lunch. Maybe they won't rip my ear out. Maybe maybe maybe.

I don't know if my ear is really infected or if it's just sore and swollen from the wound. It doesn't leak or ooze or anything, and when I look at it from the back in the mirror, it looks very clean and stuff. *shrug* Maybe I'm just impatient and want it to heal RIGHT NOW! Crap, that reminds me, I went to Target and forgot to get some stuff.

Today I ordered juliann's present (which will be late, sorry!), bought a belated birthday gift for Carrie (Lorac), got the big present for my Secret Pal at Children's, got a birthday card for my Daddy, and tried to find an eye doctor but there aren't any listed on my plan's website. What's up with that? Are there NO eye doctors in-network? GAH! And I went to pick up the photos of me and Baga but they weren't ready. They were supposed to be ready Wednesday. Phooey. But one of the presents I ordered for rizzo41 was delivered to my house today. YAY!

Still left to buy for: Baga, Dad's birthday, Princess, the cats. Do I get a present for A.? Do I get gifts for the parentals even though I'm giving them a photo of me and Baga? Decisions.

There's this girl over there, she's got mahogany hair.

Jackopierce rocks my little world.

And that is all.

I... I can't live within you.

You know, I really did like you. An awful lot. More than I probably would ever admit out loud, and more than I should have. But there it was.

When I invited you to come up for Thanksgiving, I realized that it was a Very Big Deal^TM, not only because it was, like, a big holiday, but because it would be a long visit. Long visits are inherently serious. Or at least they are to me.

I said a lot of things to you while you were here that, had I been guarding myself, I wouldn't have said. I did quite a few things while you were here that, had I been thinking more clearly, I may not have done. Because they were serious. I was scared after, sure, but I was much more happy than scared.

And then you went home. And I was still happy. And two days later you said to me, "If you want, we can call off the crush." And the next day, it was, "It will be better for you if I don't go to New Years. So I'll stay home so you can go have fun."

Two days later. Two days after six days of saying, and sharing, and doing. Two days after goodbyes with smiles. It was just like a great big spinning back kick to the gut.

I guess I still don't get it. But that's cool.

Obrigado.

Thank you, Christina.

Rant alert!

Okay, now I'm going to strangle this boy. I can't believe that this boy and I were ever in love. I don't see how someone can be like this, I really can't. Everyone in the universe thinks he is the nicest, most polite person in the world. Jesus.

I am currently covered by his health insurance. His health insurance's policy, when it comes to me, is to NOT COVER ANYTHING. I have no idea why. I never go to the doctor, and had not used this insurance until October, when I got strep really badly and ended up in the emergency room. I saw 4 doctors in that time, and ended up incurring a /lot/ of bills. A's insurance is currently kicking all of it out. I keep getting bills and statements and bills and statements. They haven't paid for any of the doctor visits, though they are all supposedly 'in plan.' They haven't paid the emergency room, calling it 'out of network' even though it is the hospital that they TOLD ME ON THE PHONE TO GO TO. So anyway, yet another statement came today, to tell A. that everything was out of network.

I ask him if he can talk to his benefits people and his insurance people and find out what is going on. I am more than capable of talking to people on the phone, but it's not my place of employment and it's not my benefits manager and hell, I don't even know who his benefits manager is. He turns around and says, "You call them." I say, "You have to call them. It's your insurance." He says, "I'm not going to run around all over the place for you. They're /your/ bills." To which I now want to say, "Actually, technically, they're yours." But I didn't. I'm sitting here, being pissed off.

What the /fuck/? I spent the last 5+ years running around for him, making appointments and calling banks and finding apartments and sending resumes and goth knows what else, and it's TOO FECKING MUCH for him to go to his benefits manager and say, "Hey, why aren't these claims being paid?"

Jesus. So I'll call these people, and they will say they're not responsible for the bills. And then he will need to go to his benefits manager and find out why. And this whole thing will be for nothing. Why is it too much trouble for him to do this? WHY?

I should call Jeff Redfield and see if I can still move into his guest room.

Hey, CDIzens!

I made a community for us! So go to castledimage and join up. Like, NOW!

If you know what's good for you, that is. :)