She's listening through the air shaft

i'm recording our history
now on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all

I wonder why, in the past few weeks, several people have been putting subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure on me to consider moving in with Jennifer when we're both in Boston. Another has put pressure on her. And while I'm usually unsurprised by most things, this completely baffles me.

Why would someone think that this is a good idea? Sure, we're friends and more-than-friends and we get along and like a lot of the same things. Sure, it would save money. Sure, we would get to spend a lot of time together.

But still. I mean, I think about these people (one of whom was /really/ pressuring last weekend) and the attitude I kind of get from them is "What do you mean you don't want to? Aren't you serious about this girl?" Does wanting to give things time mean I don't want to, aren't serious?

I mean, let's be rational here. (And while I know that I think with my head too often, I think something of this magnitude requires at least some semblance of rationality.) When I move to Boston in July, it will be the first time since December of 1997 that I don't live with a significant other. It will be the first time since December of 1997 that I will have a sort of safe haven from non-stop intimacy. It will be the first time that I stake my own little claim in the universe. I'm excited about it.

I like what she and I have. I like it a lot and I'd really like to perpetuate it, to see where it's going, to see what we can cultivate. I'd like to see how our movie will play out when we're both in the same city, able to date like people in the same city can. To go from long-distance to intimate personal space? Culture shock.

I'd like to be able to call her from work and say, "Want to grab dinner?" I'd like to be able to call her on a lazy Saturday afternoon and say, "Let's go for a drive." I'd like to be able to roll over on a Sunday morning and see her next to me, sure, and I can have that. Without the immediacy of moving in together. Without the need to rush. Moving forward can mean small steps instead of giant leaps. Giant leaps run the risk of losing sight of the ground.

I think she said it best when we talked about it this morning: "Our lives together are a really good movie, and in the movies, they usually fast-forward all of the intermediate parts." She's right. We're almost programmed to fall in love and then jumpstart to the "happily ever after" without the part where you spend time together and get a handle on each other's idiosyncracies and patterns of interaction.

Jennifer and I /are/ a really good movie. But unlike those other movies, where there's a two hour time limit, we have the rest of our lives, should we decide we want that, to see what happens before the credits roll. I'm enjoying every minute of our movie. And I can't wait to really get to date this girl. In the same city. All the time.

I found religion in the greeting card aisle.

This evening, I didn't have sushi with Cary. This is okay, though, because I had totally forgotten that it was the first Tuesday of the month - which is my day to volunteer at Kaleidoscope. KYC was extra fun tonight because I was with Bucky, whom I adore. We sang Annette Funicello songs half the night, and I talked on the phone with his boyfriend for a little while. They crack me up.

I have a phone interview tomorrow for one of the jobs I applied for in Boston, the one at the Boys and Girls Club in Dorchester. Craziness. This is, like, a reality.

I have ads up on two roommate referral websites. This is also a reality. I'm really moving. I'm really making plans. This is my life now.

I didn't get to do divorce madlibs tonight though (*sigh*) because of KYC. By the time I got home, I was wiped out, and it's getting to be time to call my girl.

I got tickets to see TMBG on Saturday night with Cary. Yay! But I'm really starting to miss Ms. Binkie and Pajama Jones.

I'm really glad that Elizabeth finally got proof that her no-good boyfriend Eric has been cheating on her. I am so addicted to For Better or For Worse, and have been since junior high school.