Guess what? Guess who?

It's ANDREA's birthday!

Creative writing time!

Quick! Write me a story incorporating 5 of the following:

• pirate flag


• Mr. Winky


• lobster


• Daniel Larusso


• Golden Gate Bridge


• second-hand store


• cherry cola lip gloss


• Lincoln Logs


• honeydew melon


• Jack Kerouac

Get to it!

Nothing.

I did nothing today. Nothing.

I think I did some dishes. And I threw out the trash I meant to throw out yesterday. And I put together this bathroom shelf I want to hang up - because I need to find a place to put my ducks. I did bike to the post office to mail something for Jennifer, and I talked with her while she was home for lunch.

But I haven't done anything. I had such high hopes! Yesterday I bought a photo album at Target and I wanted to put a bunch of pictures in it. But I haven't even gotten to the part where I took all the pictures out of the closet. I took a shower, and I am wearing clothes, but dang if I didn't do anything else with that.

I am wearing a tight shirt with horizontal stripes. I have BOOBS. How bizarre. And I'm wearing girly sandals. This is my excitement.

I thought about masturbating, but I couldn't even dredge up the energy to do that. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?