Do I HAVE TO go to work?

I just plain don't feel like going to work today. It's been a struggle to get up all week. I must have the post-holiday blahs or something. That's kind of silly, since I worked throughout the holidays, but I guess I /did/ have two four-day weeks in a row. (And one ended up being a three-day week due to being sick.) At the same time, though, I have (at least) a four-day week this week because I have to report to jury duty tomorrow. And if I don't get picked for a jury, I get to just go home and enjoy my day off! (Of course this means that I have to work all day Friday, when I usually try to leave by 2:00.)

Sometimes I think that if I had a job I loved, I wouldn't get that "oh please don't make me go to work" feeling after a couple of months. But I think the /real/ truth is that I really just don't want to work. Ever. I just want someone to send me checks on a regular basis while I sit at home in my pajamas.

I would totally enjoy being a stay-at-home partner and taking care of everything around the house if I knew it was financially feasible. Whenever I've been unemployed I've always had the stress of "dear gods, I don't have a job yet" but if my staying home was part of the Grand Plan, I could enjoy my freedom and control-freak-ness in peace! And then we could fill the house up with bay bays!

Not a very good friend

I just had a great conversation with a good friend of mine. Unfortunately I had to get off the phone because my cell phone battery was about to die, and I didn't want to have to talk with my head attached to the cradle plugged into the outlet in my bedroom. But it was nice to chat for a few minutes.

It's no secret that this friend of mine is going through a really rough time lately, and I really wish I lived closer so that I could actually do something more than just chat, like do something concrete to really help out or something. I feel kind of useless in that regard, because I know I could be a much bigger help if I were closer.

What sucks is that I had a lot of opportunities to spend QT with her when I lived in Columbus, and we both really let our busy lives get the best of us most of the time. I mean, sure, we got together and had good times, but I feel like I should have spent more time and just plain done more for her. The sorts of things she's struggling with now don't just come out of nowhere, and I wonder what kind of "good" friend I could have been that I didn't know all of these things were brewing just under the surface.

I know I can't take /all/ of the responsibility here, but I definitely feel like there was likely more I could have done when I lived in Columbus. If I had spent more time and put out more effort, maybe I would have seen some of these things and been a better help. Maybe I would have made more plans, offered more suggestions, talked more, provided more distractions... I can't help but feel like I just plain should have known she was upset, but the truth is that I had absolutely no clue. And I feel pretty bad about that.

I tend to think of myself as a pretty good friend to have, but when you get right down to it, I'm really self-absorbed. Lately I haven't been available to /anyone/ outside of my household really. One of my friends here in town was admitted into the hospital recently and while I vaguely noted her absence, it really didn't register because I'm so busy. But busy is such a shitty excuse. I need to find a way to get out of my own head and be a better friend.