Thank you disillusionment

Today I started sending out thank-you cards for the generous things people did for us when we got married (which really wasn't necessary, I assure you, but thanks again!). I really wrestled with the one for my mother because I know that she is pretty upset with me that I didn't tell her that we were getting legally married until the day we got married. I had a hard time finding the right words to explain the situation without sounding lame or dumb.

The truth is, there are so many factors inherent in both why we got married randomly on Friday the 13th, why we didn't have a big to-do, why there wasn't an announcement sooner, etc. I probably could have written a several page letter but wanted to write something concise and genuine that could fit on a little thank-you card. It wasn't easy.

I honestly /do/ see my mother's point of view and I know why her feelings are hurt. I know that she feels like I excluded her from something, that I isolate her from my life, etc. The reality is that it's not at all like that. In fact, I used to have a pretty close relationship with my mother for a couple of years, where I phoned her frequently and visited, all of that. Since she moved to Myrtle Beach, I never hear from her. Sure, the phone goes both ways, but whether I call or she does, she basically talks at me for about 20 minutes about everything going on in her life, and then says she is going to let me go. I actually spoke to her on the phone four times in the week-10 days before we got married and she never once asked me, "How are you?" I dunno.

How do you get someone, someone who isn't affected by such things, to understand that we were afraid to wait a year to have a public wedding (when we might be able to afford and/or plan one) because we have no idea if/when the laws will change to forbid such things all over again? We took a huge risk moving out here, with a huge pull being marriage. We'd already blown almost a year here stalling because we couldn't decide on anything, couldn't afford anything, and never saw each other. What if we waited another year? Would we still have the option of getting legally married?

There wasn't anything magical about May 13th other than Jen had two Fridays off in a row (the 6th and the 13th) and I was able to get out of work before 2:00 both days. Since that doesn't always happen, we got the marriage license on the 6th and crossed our fingers that we would be able to get an appointment at City Hall on the 13th. When Jen went on the 11th to pick up our license, she was able to get the info to call and make an appointment. Thankfully we were able to get in that Friday... otherwise we would have been looking at sometime in June before the marriage license expired.

(This all sounds so romantic, doesn't it?)

I understand that people are hurt that they weren't able to come. I understand that people are hurt that they didn't know in advance. But I don't understand how no one seems to see my side of things, the actual reality that influenced a harried and hasty decision. It's frustrating. We want to have a public get-together in a year when we can save up and plan. Hopefully we'll still be legally married by then.

Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon

staring at the sun 05-28
Originally uploaded by judecorp.

I took folkyboy to Wollaston Beach today since it was sunny and warm. What we didn't know is that it was a lot hotter than we (or the meteorologists) had anticipated, and we'd overdressed in short-sleeved shirts and pants. It was HOT, and the beach was full of people who were desperate to get outside after the horrible week we had.

We tooled around and took pictures of whatever looked interesting, which means basically that Tim made me take a million pictures of him. Thankfully he brought his own camera so I don't have to listen to him hound me for the next four days to upload his pictures so he can show off. ;) (Just to spite him, I uploaded these right away. HA!)

I guess I must have lost a little bit of weight, because this shirt didn't seem as tight as it did last year. (But it's still a boob shirt, so it's definitely tight.) It got awfully sticky as the day went on, though. (Note to self: No polyester on hot days.)

I think I'm going to shave my legs and wear sundresses this summer. That'll shake things up. I wonder if I even own any sundresses.

The wind did a number on my hair, so you don't get to see all the cute faux-dreads I put in while waiting for Tim to show up. Next time, Gadget!

My mind just turns to summer

skipping stones
Originally uploaded by judecorp.

Also, it's funny how a little summertime makes everything so conflicting. I love Boston in the summertime, and how can you not, really? A city on the ocean just seems like the best of both worlds, a perfect combination not unlike the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

(Your city is in my ocean! Your ocean is on my city!)

Somehow everything seems worthwhile when I can feel the sun on my face, smell the briny air, and watch the waves come in. Cruising down Quincy Shore Drive with the radio blasting... suddenly paying ridiculous rent /almost/ seems like a reasonable thing to do.