Rollercoaster

So yesterday was such a good day. I had no spotting to speak of, and was a dynamo around the house. I tackled DAYS worth of dishes, received the box spring from the nice furniture people, and finally unpacked a bunch of my clothes into the dresser. I put a bunch of laundry away, found the sheets for the bed, etc. That evening, Jen and I went out for yummy dinner to kind of celebrate and then we had to run to the grocery store. I felt so good to be a normal person, walking around and puttering around the house. It was so nice.

This morning, I'm bleeding again. It's light, and I am trying not to stress about it. I mean, there's nothing I can do - either it's more of the hematoma draining or it's something worse, and I won't find out until something or nothing happens, you know? I go back for another ultrasound next week and I'll likely wait until then because really, what's the point? I can't keep running up to Greenfield all the time. Besides, two days ago we had a totally healthy baby and I know things can change in two days but I can't believe things would change that dramatically.

I'm trying to be very chill about all of this and just see what happens. Trying. It's mostly working - I didn't wake up Jen in the middle of the night, I went back to sleep - but of course I have that nervous feeling. Here's hoping it goes away.

I just want to be a normal, glowing pregnant lady or whatever.

Three brain cells

By the time I go back to work, I'm going to have only 3 brain cells left from watching so much television. And it's not like it's culturally stimulating television, either. I am currently watching a Lifetime Movie (aka Women GOOD Men BAD) about a baby snatcher. But don't worry, sudrin, in this one, the BAD GUY is a woman!

I have all of these good Netflix movies but I just haven't been up for watching them. I keep looking for mindless things and oh my, it is working, because I have no mind left. *zap*

I am trying to decide if I should go to Jen's work holiday dinner tonight. Free food = good. Being with people = good. Being panicky the whole time about bleeding while in public with people I don't know = bad.

~//~

I have to say, though, I dozed through several good shows today: Little House, for one. It's good to nap to. And I watched that episode of The Brady Bunch where they are going to do a commercial for Safe Detergent. I sure do love some Bradys.

First of each month meme

Stolen from hopemcg.

You take the first line from the first post of each month.

January: On our way out the door to go to Shani's New Year's Eve game night, we spotted a letter from our landlords that said that they would be raising our rent $75/month beginning Feb 1st.

February: I have a coworker that is not terribly well liked, mostly because most of my coworkers think she is annoying, abrasive with clients, and basically bad at the job.

March: Don't make me go outside today!

April: First impressions of New Orleans: It's not really my kind of place.

May I went in this morning for my E2 check and ultrasound.

June: I can't believe it's already been over a year since he's called me, since I saw him smile, since he gave me a hug. (RIP, Dad)

July: Returned from Maine yesterday afternoon.

August: I never thought I would say this, but I think I'm getting sick of eating crap food.

September: Temp took a major, major nosedive today.

October: We talked for about a million years over the past day and a half about houses, and I have to say that although it is stressful, it is nice that we are doing so much talking.

November: Happy birthday, pantsie!

December: I'm glad that Jen agreed to pop home for a little bit in case the washer/dryer delivery was right on time.

Pooch

I feel kind of weird saying this after such a dramatic day, but I just took a shower, and damn, I'm pregnant. I mean, really.

I may have lost three pounds but I have this ridiculous pooch under my waist. If I hadn't lost 30+ pounds I would say it's just the same below-waist pooch that people have... so basically I look fat. I guess that's how it starts.

The only thing keeping it from being my old fatgirl pooch is that it is /hard/. I mean, I can squish it down, way down when I'm laying down, but when I'm standing it's like, hello hard pooch. I looked down at my feet and there they are (hello, feet!) but between my eyes and my feet I can see pooch. I want Jen to take a picture but I'm also so paranoid of jinxing anything. That's weird, right?

I can't wear any of my skinny pants anymore. Well, I can, but they're uncomfortable unless I unbutton them. And I get major muffin top. Since I can't really walk around with open pants at Jen's work thing, I had to dig in the boxes for some Fat Pants. And while they are comfy, they do NOT help the whole "look fat with a fatgirl pooch" thing I've got going on. Dang.

Hey, maybe my boobs will start getting bigger or something. I have these groovy blue veins running through them, that's gotta count for something. So sexy. ;)