Trembling Before G-d
May. 13th, 2002 01:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpTonight I went to see a movie called Trembling Before G-d with Lara and Steve. It was a documentary about various people who are struggling with being both Hasidic or Orthodox Jews and also homosexuals. It was about the need to hide or fear being ostracized. It was a movie that made me think.
I take an awful lot for granted sometimes. I live in comfort and stability within my spiritual community and my faith, and I don't usually think about it. As a Unitarian Universalist, being queer is never an issue. Heck, neither is anything else, really. That's one of the perks! But then I got to thinking about how for orthodox and hasidic jews, religious services are only a small piece of the picture. There is an entire community, an entire lifestyle, and an entire support system that is in danger of being pulled out from under someone for admitting and/or acting on queerness.
I think of the man who snapped a rubber band on his wrist to try to condition away same-sex desires. I think of the woman with the husband, the woman who asked for a platonic relationship and was denied it. I think of the woman who cries because her father, the rabbi, calls her only because he feels it is his duty to do so. I think of the young man sent to Israel because "there are not gay people there." I think of the respected rabbi who says that he will hold the hand of his struggling gay Jewish brothers, "but only figuratively."
There was a shot of a woman standing outside of a fence. Inside the fence was a small carnival or street festival, and lots of families were playing within. Children were riding amusement rides and playing Whack-a-Mole, people had cotton candy, everyone was having a good time. She was standing outside the fence. She didn't belong. She was afraid to step inside. I felt so strongly for her.
I have lost nothing - not my family, not my friends, not my support system, not my faith, not my Higher Power, not my community, not my job - nothing. I have a comfort and a stability in my life that some of these people will never know. These people, they struggle with heartache every day, struggle with why G-d would give them a soul that was tainted, that they should bear a constant struggle. I realize that persevering through struggle is synonymous with Judaism in some ways, but why would G-d give this struggle to only some people? It's almost like it is equated with a disability or a terminal illness. (G-d gave mother cancer, father heart disease, brother scoliosis, and sister lesbianism?)
To hear the woman's father halfhearted wish her a "good shabbos," to hear the older man's father give excuses why he's too busy to see his son after 20 years - that was difficult. But to see that woman, and that man, in the arms of their partners, having their struggles understood and supported, well, that just gives me hope.
Summary: Trembling Before G-d - Sobering. I am very fortunate indeed.
I take an awful lot for granted sometimes. I live in comfort and stability within my spiritual community and my faith, and I don't usually think about it. As a Unitarian Universalist, being queer is never an issue. Heck, neither is anything else, really. That's one of the perks! But then I got to thinking about how for orthodox and hasidic jews, religious services are only a small piece of the picture. There is an entire community, an entire lifestyle, and an entire support system that is in danger of being pulled out from under someone for admitting and/or acting on queerness.
I think of the man who snapped a rubber band on his wrist to try to condition away same-sex desires. I think of the woman with the husband, the woman who asked for a platonic relationship and was denied it. I think of the woman who cries because her father, the rabbi, calls her only because he feels it is his duty to do so. I think of the young man sent to Israel because "there are not gay people there." I think of the respected rabbi who says that he will hold the hand of his struggling gay Jewish brothers, "but only figuratively."
There was a shot of a woman standing outside of a fence. Inside the fence was a small carnival or street festival, and lots of families were playing within. Children were riding amusement rides and playing Whack-a-Mole, people had cotton candy, everyone was having a good time. She was standing outside the fence. She didn't belong. She was afraid to step inside. I felt so strongly for her.
I have lost nothing - not my family, not my friends, not my support system, not my faith, not my Higher Power, not my community, not my job - nothing. I have a comfort and a stability in my life that some of these people will never know. These people, they struggle with heartache every day, struggle with why G-d would give them a soul that was tainted, that they should bear a constant struggle. I realize that persevering through struggle is synonymous with Judaism in some ways, but why would G-d give this struggle to only some people? It's almost like it is equated with a disability or a terminal illness. (G-d gave mother cancer, father heart disease, brother scoliosis, and sister lesbianism?)
To hear the woman's father halfhearted wish her a "good shabbos," to hear the older man's father give excuses why he's too busy to see his son after 20 years - that was difficult. But to see that woman, and that man, in the arms of their partners, having their struggles understood and supported, well, that just gives me hope.
Summary: Trembling Before G-d - Sobering. I am very fortunate indeed.
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no subject
Date: 2002-05-12 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-12 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-13 06:13 am (UTC)Anyhow, I just started poking around on their official site (go Google! It's better than doing a post mortem on a rhinoceros any day.)
no subject
Date: 2002-05-13 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-13 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-13 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-13 08:00 am (UTC)From my understanding, ultra-orthodox Jews believe in the Torah the same way fundamentalist Christians read the Bible, which is to say that each word should be taken literally (for the most part). So I can imagine it would be very difficult to rectify homosexuality, especially for men, what with Leviticus and all.
no subject
Date: 2002-05-14 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
no subject
Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-15 08:32 am (UTC)I feel bad for people who have been cut out of a religion based on words on a page. I feel bad for people who have tortured themselves mentally and physically for words on a page. I feel bad for those who have been slaughtered/tortured/killed, based on words on a page. God didn't write the bible (even the bible doesn't claim that)...it was dictated at best...turned into a screenplay at worse.
Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 07:44 am (UTC)While I agree that the Bible (and other religious texts) should not be taken at face value, there /is/ Biblical reason to think one should. The opening words of the book of John say something like, "Before, there was the Word, and the Word was God," or something like that. It seems to be talking both about the birth of Jesus (the "Word made Flesh") and the Gospels themselves.
Still, I agree with you.
Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 08:30 am (UTC)Still doesn't say god wrote the bible, it says that God spoke to *someone* or *everyone*, but then others put it to paper and hence the chaos began. No translation is 100% pure to source, the act of translating by it's very nature, changes the material. If someone wanted to get REALLY technical, then the word should have never been translated.
I try very hard to keep an open mind when it comes to religion...but I believe in concepts, not doctrine.
Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 08:38 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 09:17 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 10:09 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 10:46 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 11:13 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 03:48 pm (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-16 05:53 pm (UTC)Brush.
Floss.
See your dentist regularly.
(It's a great plan!)
Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-17 04:24 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-17 05:57 am (UTC)Re: Ultimately
Date: 2002-05-17 06:55 am (UTC)