This is going to be the worst night ever.

[judecorp]

I'm in a pissy mood and a half. I was totally cranky on the phone with Jennifer (sorry!), and I'm ready to go to this awards thing, but I totally look like a boy in a dress today. Ugh.

And, to all of my girly friends, are nylons supposed to be one-time things, or am I just perpetually wearing them wrong? I swear, I am wearing these with runs. Fuck it.

I should totally just not go. I'm in a terrible mood and look positively awful. The liner of this dress is sticking to me. And even with the little butterflies in my hair, I look like a boy in a dress. Jesus. This is the most ridiculous thing ever, but I don't have time to change. I'm already late just from writing all pissy.

Fuck.

Comments

[mightywombat.livejournal.com]

Poor little Smurfette... I think you should go. If there are going to be other little lesbians there, some of them will probably look like a boys in dresses too. Maybe you'll have fun. If you stay home, you probably WON'T have any fun. Go. Schmmoze. Enjoy. Or else.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

There are three lesbians in my graduating MSW class. All of them are significantly girlier than me. :)

But my friend Jean said I didn't look like a boy in a dress, and so did Jen. So maybe it wasn't a total waste.

[juliann.livejournal.com]

Nylons are pretty nasty yes. I gave up years ago and just wear tights or go bare legged. But you can sometimes have them last longer by A) not buying super cheap generic target ones, B) making sure your nails are trimmed with no rough edges (fingers and toes), and C) by "opening" them entirely with your fingers before so much as putting a toe in (which you probably do, but some people don't) so that there is less chance for it to snag on anything.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think my problem is that after I wear them once, I put them in the washing machine. That's not a problem for tights, but it is for nylons.

[juliann.livejournal.com]

Oh, get a hoisery bag. They're like 2 bucks at Target. Keeps them from getting snagged on anything else. And of course, don't dry them in the dryer, but you knew that.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't do the dryer... but I might invest in a hosiery bag - you know, for the one time a year I wear hose. :)

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you are pissy, but I'm afraid your post made me giggle, and I'll tell you why. All I could hear in my head were the soft voices of Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes asking John Leguizamo "Why are you crying, Little Latin Boy in a Dress?" Which then brought up an image of you in a dress saying in John Leguizamo's voice "Honey, I got more legs than a bucket of chicken!"

I didn't get enough sleep.

And as for the life of nylons, I believe the rule is to throw them out if they get runs, pulls, or holes.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

However, I have never once been able to put on a pair without fucking them somehow. Don't feel bad about it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't fuck nylons. You should save that for actual people. ;)

Re:

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

that must be where I've been going wrong all this time.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I bet my dad would have some advice for ya.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

But after only one time? I always have holes and runs after one time! SHEESH!

And ha ha ha about the bucket of chicken. I love you.

[binkiegirl.livejournal.com]

Be glad you're not chunky!!! Then you get thigh rub and they get holes AND they hurt! Oy Vey!!!

I'm quite sure you look gorgeous. :) As always.

And Trendy!!!! (Butterflies!!) How impressive. :)

Love you!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, don't underestimate me - I get thigh rub. OW.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Thigh rub hurts LIKE HELL! JESUS CHRIST!

[michael622.livejournal.com]

Amen! I swear, I think thigh rub has to be worse than childbirth. Of course, I've never had a child, but I'm /sure/ of it.

Re:

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

um no. childbirth hurts more... but thigh rub is up there on the list!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You are SO right! :(

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

I've never managed to get a pair of pantyhose to last more than three wearings.

Then again, I'm not exactly "girly," so maybe I've never figured out the tricks either.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Three times is better than one. You are at least more girly than me (though I don't know if that's saying much).

[00solstice.livejournal.com]

I swear, I am wearing these with runs. Fuck it.

yep, you swore...

(but you look so sexy in your punkish, trampy, runny nylons!)

Ha ha ha

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You called me trampy.

Re: Ha ha ha

[00solstice.livejournal.com]

have you tried wearing fishnets instead??

they don't seem to be as prone to running, at least when I wear them.

Re: Ha ha ha

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You are just out of control, dude. :)

Re: Ha ha ha

[00solstice.livejournal.com]

:-p !!

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

Nylons are one-time things for me, except for an uber-girly pair I picked up when I was *ahem* dancing. They're really neet, but I don't think they're actually nylons -- they're only semi-transparent and they make my legs look all sparkly.

On the other hand, my sister the teacher says her nylons have an average lifespan of 1-2 weeks. She swears she doesn't do anything special to them, but she's probably pulling my leg (no pun intended).

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I usually wear tights. They last longer.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

I can usually get nylons to last about 1-2 weeks -- washing them in a hosery bag helps. I suspect that fabric softener helps them too, but have absolutely no data to support this. And I'm pretty girly ;-)

And I suspect you looked fantastic, Jude!!! :-)

Flattery will get you everywhere.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

And I suspect you looked fantastic, Jude!!! :-)

Well gee whiz. :) Thanks.

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

Nylons are confusing.

[michael622.livejournal.com]

I flatly refuse to wear nylons or tights. The only thing I will occasionally wear is a pair of trouser socks, but not often. I don't care how white and pale my legs look or whether I've shaved them - nylons are instruments of torture obviously invented by men and I will not wear them.

I don't wear high heels either, even tho I am only 5'1. Grrrl power!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

There are certain shoes I own (that I never wear) that would kill me if I wasn't wearing nylons.