I think I have a serious anxiety problem.

[judecorp]

I just had a really nice Christmas Eve dinner thinger with my mom, her husband, her mother, my brother, and his girlfriend, and I just scored some pretty sweet loot. And on the ride home I was graced with a call from the girl who turns my world. But I'm sitting here sleeplessly fretting about a storm that hasn't even started yet, and snow accumulations that may or may not happen until tomorrow afternoon. And I do mean fretting. My stomach is in knots over the prospect of having the airport close, or having my flight delayed indefinitely until I'm suddenly having to sleep on the terminal floor, and why?

Sure, I'm concerned about missing more work. Sure, I'm concerned about what I would do if I was stranded at the airport. But mostly, the idea that I won't get home to share some holiday love with Jennifer terrifies me with its intense longing. And I'm longing and sad about something that I won't even know about for another 17 hours or so.

I think I need some serious help. Rational Me reminds me that I shouldn't worry about something so delayed and indefinite, and also that worrying doesn't change the situation even the slightest bit. The Me that was a therapist is really good at telling me these things over and over and over. But I know, I just know in my head that when the weather starts up tomorrow, whether I'm here or at my uncle's house or whatever, I'm going to be frantic. Losing control scares me, too.

I want to be home with my angel.

Comments

[toughnut.livejournal.com]

I hope the events of your day transpire in a positive way. Try not to worry too much. Your plans might not happen exactly as expected, but sometimes the best things come when least expected.

Wishing you luck and a great holiday!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Everything always works out in the end. Sometimes, though, it's a struggle to get there.

My holiday was good. Very good. And yours?

[toughnut.livejournal.com]

Aside from a bout with the flu, the holiday was excellent! Now, I'm already getting excited about New Years!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Me too! Me too!