I know what you mean... like Red in Shawshank Redemption, I'm the one who knows how to get things, I'm the one who usually gets it done. And lately... I just haven't been *that* person.
Is it something you can talk out with friends/strangers?
But I'm sure you're doing that to the fullest you can...
I remember a year ago this past Feb. I was sick as a dog; dying, I was positive. The health clinic never could figure out what it was (my home doctor said it was mono, but this was months later... he said I had HAD it), so they kept giving me codine and percocet. It was the WORST I have even been sick... my girlfriend (THE one, not the one of my laments) had the patience of Job, I tell you. Lots of laying in bed, her watching TV as I slept, forcing me to spray the yucky meds in my throat, take my loopy pills...
I never loved her more as I did those days, when the roles had changed and she was taking care of me. Not a lot of people can do that, especially *for* their usual caregiver. I suspect your girl is loving you really hard-core simply because you *do* feel helpless; even when my girlfriend didn't know what to do, even when there was nothing she COULD do, just knowing she was there for me when I couldn't be there for her, that was amazing.
One thing my girlfriend did was once I could be out of bed, she took me to get my hair cut. Sounds weird, but when you're really sick, just having someone wash and cut your hair, then going home, getting in the shower and washing your new hair again and getting the sick funk off your body, that actually made me feel exhausted, but better. And her sitting there, watching me in the mirror as my hair was trimmed, not talking, just loving... wow.
I'm going to go call her now :)
I'm rootin' for you... it's hard, I understand, no matter WHAT side you are on. And from your other post, I know what you mean about missing the intimacy. I'm sorry.
Thank you. That's a really sweet story, and really nice things to say.
I know that she appreciates the little things I've been able to do - wash her dishes, bring her soup, pick up her medicine, etc. But we don't live together, and we decided that we should sleep (alone) in our respective apartments until she feels better, and so I've only been spending a couple of hours a day with her. I feel so awful about that. I feel like maybe I should be there, sleeping beside her, so that if she wakes up in the middle of the night feeling awful, she doesn't have to do it alone.
I don't know. I know that she says I'm doing enough, and I believe her when she says that. I just wish I could do more.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2003-03-12 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Re:
Date: 2003-03-12 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Is it something you can talk out with friends/strangers?
no subject
Love her :)
Date: 2003-03-12 05:30 pm (UTC)I remember a year ago this past Feb. I was sick as a dog; dying, I was positive. The health clinic never could figure out what it was (my home doctor said it was mono, but this was months later... he said I had HAD it), so they kept giving me codine and percocet. It was the WORST I have even been sick... my girlfriend (THE one, not the one of my laments) had the patience of Job, I tell you. Lots of laying in bed, her watching TV as I slept, forcing me to spray the yucky meds in my throat, take my loopy pills...
I never loved her more as I did those days, when the roles had changed and she was taking care of me. Not a lot of people can do that, especially *for* their usual caregiver. I suspect your girl is loving you really hard-core simply because you *do* feel helpless; even when my girlfriend didn't know what to do, even when there was nothing she COULD do, just knowing she was there for me when I couldn't be there for her, that was amazing.
One thing my girlfriend did was once I could be out of bed, she took me to get my hair cut. Sounds weird, but when you're really sick, just having someone wash and cut your hair, then going home, getting in the shower and washing your new hair again and getting the sick funk off your body, that actually made me feel exhausted, but better. And her sitting there, watching me in the mirror as my hair was trimmed, not talking, just loving... wow.
I'm going to go call her now :)
I'm rootin' for you... it's hard, I understand, no matter WHAT side you are on. And from your other post, I know what you mean about missing the intimacy. I'm sorry.
Re: Love her :)
Date: 2003-03-12 07:32 pm (UTC)I know that she appreciates the little things I've been able to do - wash her dishes, bring her soup, pick up her medicine, etc. But we don't live together, and we decided that we should sleep (alone) in our respective apartments until she feels better, and so I've only been spending a couple of hours a day with her. I feel so awful about that. I feel like maybe I should be there, sleeping beside her, so that if she wakes up in the middle of the night feeling awful, she doesn't have to do it alone.
I don't know. I know that she says I'm doing enough, and I believe her when she says that. I just wish I could do more.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-12 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-12 07:33 pm (UTC)