Rambler.

[judecorp]

I feel like I should have something to say about all of this Iraq business, or about all of this Dubya business, or about all of this Taft budget cut business, but quite frankly, it just makes me tired and pissy. And I just don't have time to be Senorita Pissypants right about now, because I have a job to do and a sick girl to take care of. So I try not to even think about it. I don't watch the news. I don't read the news. I don't listen to the news. I drive by the gas stations and I haven't put gas in Gargamel (though I really have to do that soon). I think moment-to-moment about work, and about my plans, and about what my Jennifer needs. Today I picked up liquid antibiotic and liquid ibuprofen. I think CVS now thinks I have a child.

I called the doctor's office to see if she thought I should do anything about this mono thing. The nurse called me back and used the "partner" word again. Shoot if that doesn't give me the heebie jeebies. I equate "partner" with "spouse" in my mind, although I don't know if I'd ever personally use the word "partner," and I certainly don't consider The Girl my spouse. I've done all the rushing into longterm commitment stuff that I ever want to do for the rest of my life. I did it at 22, because I was young and foolish and dumb dumb dumb. No thanks. I'm enjoying the time we spend together and seeing where it goes. No need to slap a big pretentious label on it.

My friend Louise told me that I was a boy trapped in a girl's body. She was saying this in reference to the fact that I am a smooch bandit and I objectify women. But she was so much righter than she really knows. I adore Louise to pieces, even if she insists on calling me Schmoodie.

jjustj says I should go to bed now, so goodnight Livejournal. Give peace a chance.

Comments

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

I understand where you're coming from with the whole "commitment" deal, but it still makes me wince and get more than a little pissy if T. makes flippant comments about not considering me ready-to-move-in-with marriageable spouse material. Because every girl wants to feel like their significant other's special gem, delusional or not.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, I definitely think she's my special gem. There's no doubt about that. I'm just not at a point in my life where I can make that sort of lifetime commitment again. There's something very humbling about making that sort of commitment in front of 200 friends and family members, and then perpetually having to take it back.

Just this past August, at a wedding back home, I had to go over it again with my high school friend's little sister. It never ends! (And this year is a reunion year, yay.)

[photodork.livejournal.com]

smurfy,
i think you'd make a good kissing partner.
that new ring makes it all the sweeter.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I haven't kissed /anyone/ yet! *whiiiiiine*

[selfpreserve.livejournal.com]

I objectify women on a daily basis and I'm sure kungfoogirl would agree I'm not "a boy trapped in a girl's body" (ie: I wore a skirt today). Sometimes there's nothing more necessary than make comments when a girl walks by - although I'm not the kind to talk about The Ass because really, The Ass does not need vocal observations. It's a tool, nothing more, darnit.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I suppose I should point out that Louise is, shall we say, bitter. Really bitter. Bitter as fuck bitter. So anything she sees as anti-commitment, or flirtatious (and not in that coquettish way), or bad is automatically relegated to "boy" status. But she means it in a nice way. :)

I'm not really an Ass girl. Although, and I don't know where it came from, I'm becoming a judger of the booblie things.

[pjgrrl.livejournal.com]

jude,
i know what you mean about the partner thing.. (i think i made that mistake.. well i know i did!) way too early!!
you know i so look up to you.
i hope Jen starts feeling better soon.
what is up with this mono thing.. i think it

is

going around columbus like crazy!
i've heard about WAY too many people having it..i am scared!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Really? Lots of people are getting mono? Fan-fucking-tastic! (I am SO not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am NOT getting sick!) I hope you don't get it (if you haven't had it already)!

Don't give yourself crap about making the "too early" mistake. So many of us do it, and it's a part of growing up. Learn your lessons and move on, and never look back.

p.s. You look up to /me/? *blush* Thank you, PJ. That's really sweet.

Re:

[pjgrrl.livejournal.com]

yes.. i have heard that alot of people have been getting mono! yikes huh? i do not want to get sick..!! i have started with the sleeping thing.. and really sore throat! YIKES!

-Learn your lessons and move on, and never look back.

LOL! i am definately not going to look back at my mistakes again.. i have done that way to many times in my life.. and i have gone right back to making the same mistakes.

and yes Jude, i look up to you. you are a good person :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm crossing my fingers that you're not sick.

Re:

[pjgrrl.livejournal.com]

actually, i am sick now :(

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that. :(

[juliann.livejournal.com]

Here (which is where I heard the term for the first time) "partner" just means "SO" only is loads easier to pronounce :) It's used for couples of any orientation.

I think it's just short for "sex partner" ;) OK I know it's not but I bet that's where it came from!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know that when people say it to me, they're just trying to be polite or say the "right" thing. I know that they're not slapping a wedding ring on my finger or whatever. It's just one of those things I'm hypersensitive about.

And I don't like the word. I mean, when I think "partner," I either think "Partners in Crime" or my mom's accounting firm. I don't think about a person I may want to spend the rest of my life with.

But it still gives me the willies. :)

[juliann.livejournal.com]

Ah, I think of "life partner" since marriage IS a partnership...but again I don't think that's what people mean when they say partner.

You'll get used to the term though. I wouldn't correct them any to say "girlfriend" since you'll get more rights (almost the same rights a married spouse would have) as far as being in the ER with her in the future, etc if they say "partner". That whole PC thing and all...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, yeah. Leave it to you to bring, you know, DETAILS into it. ;)

Maybe someday I'll feel comfortable saying a word like that in the ER or anywhere. Until then, I guess I'll figure something out. :)

[kieron.livejournal.com]

I have always felt there were like three levels of girl girl relationships....

there is girlfriend. Where we are and where we are happy.

there is Significant Other. Which is a term I have always been apathetic about. This is my Significant Other.....friend? Other...something? who knows...I was kinda weirded when they asked for that info at the Doctors...

partner. There are levels of this as well. The moment when you see the other person as your partner...in your decisions and your future...as well as in your hardships and sickness and sadness..., the point wher ethey see themselves and you in such a way and then the point when you both feel comfortable saying it. It doesn't have to be now. Not when both people know what the other is feeling. I am a big swollen tonsil sap;)

The labels only matter to us, because we worked so hard not be labeled before, only to have the "PC" come around and try to box us in again.

There is no rushing on either side here...no matter what we speak of...if we rush, we feel crazy and trapped and scared.....we push sometimes...but not to the point of demanding anything....

Blah blah blah....stop the talking now sick girl!;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

partner. There are levels of this as well. The moment when you see the other person as your partner...in your decisions and your future...as well as in your hardships and sickness and sadness..., the point wher ethey see themselves and you in such a way and then the point when you both feel comfortable saying it. It doesn't have to be now. Not when both people know what the other is feeling. I am a big swollen tonsil sap;)

What exactly are you getting at here, pretty girl?

[kieron.livejournal.com]

That I love you and I don't need a label for it?:)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, alrighty then. :)

Heheheh.

[kjtoo.livejournal.com]

Schmoodie.

I like that.

No more from me now. No keen insights to offer, nor sage advice to dispense. I'm just amused by "Schmoodie."

Re: Heheheh.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'll tell her you said so. :)

so if you break up, are you ex-Significant Partners?

[pica-nc.livejournal.com]

Aside from labels being for canned foods...

I had this delima early on: when I introduce her, what do I say?

Girlfriend? I have lots of those. I use it like a pronoun, "a girfriend and I went to the grocer..." Companion? I think of this like "travel companion." Partner? Nope, not a lawyer, and we're not dancing. Siginificant other? Meaning you have insiginifant others? And who says they're hanging out with their others tonight? Mate? Eh, that's a verb. Lover? Mmmm... I like this. In poetry. Special friend? My mom uses this to talk about my gay friends, my "special friends."

The first (and last) time I asked the person I was in a committed, monogamous relationship with how I should introduce her. Her response was, "Call me by my name."

It sounds small, but that was such a profound statement. I consider it now to be so much more empowering, liberating and loving to not try and take her identity away and replace it with some qualtifying (or qualifying) label.

"I want you to meet someone... this is so-and-so." End of intro. You can see it in my eyes, on my lips and through my body if I'm introducing you to my mom, the girl I'm dating, someone I'm in a relationship with, or my wife.

And I love the term "wife." LOVE it. But that's obviously something reserved for a permenent forever relationship. Someday.

Re: so if you break up, are you ex-Significant Partners?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I have a personal pet peeve against people who use the word "girlfriend" to mean "friend who is female," even though a bazillion people do that. I don't know exactly why it irks me, but it does. I mean, people don't go around calling their male friends their "boyfriends." 'So my boyfriend and I were at the park...' Nah, it's not used. So if someone (male or female) says 'my boyfriend' most people know they mean something like dating. However, since 'girlfriend' is so overused (and don't even get me started on 'you go, girlfriend!'), people get confused. Like this:

Me: My girlfriend was in a car accident.
Coworker: How is your friend doing?

Me: My girlfriend was in a car accident.
Hospital employee: Sit over there and I'll let you know when your friend is done.

It's like I always have to emphasize after, "Not my friend who is a girl, but the girl I'm sleeping with." But if I said, "My boyfriend was in a car accident," it's like everyone would assume I meant romance.

I agree with you, though, that a person should be able to determine the nature of the relationship by your posture, your nonverbals, the look in your eye. But I also like being able to go up to whoever and say, "This is my girlfriend, Jennifer." Not because people won't get the idea even though we're holding hands or looking all starry-eyed at each other, but because I'm proud of her.

And this is just a me-thing, but I doubt I will ever use the word wife, because I was one once, and it had terrible connotations for me. But like I said, that's just me. I think it's just fine when other people use it.

Come to think of it, what am I talking about? I'm spouting crap. Usually I introduce her with, "This is my Jennifer."

I think I struck a nerve! Sorry...

[pica-nc.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about the girlfriend part... back home, girlfriend means "female you are romantically involved with," no matter *who* says it. Something about North Carolina I learned very quickly, though, is that everyone assumes because I'm the "single, marrying-age" that when I say I went out with a friend, they automatically ask, "What's his name?" THAT always gets me, that people just assume I'm looking for a husband, because isn't that what all nice young girls my age do? I have just become accustomed to saying, "My girlfriend and I went to the bar..."

The "you go, girlfriend" isn't something I've heard much so I usually just end up making a horrid face at the obnoxious sound of it and not really process it for it's implication, or lack there of.

I think it's beautiful you introduce Jennifer as your girlfriend. Again, doing that in my current community would just mean she's my female friend. I have not be in a serious relationship where introductions are important since moving here, though, so I wouldn't really know how it would be received either way. Perhaps someday I'll find out.

Re: I think I struck a nerve! Sorry...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You don't need to apologize! I'm sorry if it sounded like I was harping on you. I wasn't. Really. :)

People here tend to use "girlfriend" to mean female friend all the time, and it just seems like I have to explain and explain and explain. Bleh!

Where I grew up, no one used the word "girlfriend" to mean a friend, so I'm not used to it, I guess.

Re: I think I struck a nerve! Sorry...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You don't need to apologize! I'm sorry if it sounded like I was harping on you. I wasn't. Really. :)

People here tend to use "girlfriend" to mean female friend all the time, and it just seems like I have to explain and explain and explain. Bleh!

Where I grew up, no one used the word "girlfriend" to mean a friend, so I'm not used to it, I guess.