No one's ever said this to me before:

[judecorp]

Did I mention that a client of mine at work on Tuesday told me, completely straight-faced, that there was no way he would have ever guessed that I was a lesbian because I look too feminine? And that, since I said I was, he guessed I was "the femme." But that he was sure that no one would ever suspect me of being "you know, like that."

Holy crap on a crap cracker, I almost died!