A girl in need of a tourniquet
Aug. 1st, 2003 05:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpI am so very tired. I really don't have any reason to be so tired, but I am. I have done very little today, after picking Jennifer up from the airport. Since then, I've finished a book, made lunch for myself, and walked to the landlord's to pay the rent. That's about it. But I'm tired. I think this will be a pretty low-key night.
I had fun at Unemployed Alcoholic Night last night, and it was good to see everyone again: Missy, Sean, Jenny, Krusty, Jared... good times. And I met![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
southern_goy beforehand, which was kind of neat. I must have smelled, though - they left right when I got there. I like the socialness of UAN - the way a number of different people all show up - it reminds my 80s heart of St. Elmo's Fire, which makes me feel kind of gooeygood.
Maybe I overreacted from the Peebers, but by the end of the night I was really down about some of the conversation, and not even the hard hat I swiped from the construction site was cheering me up. I just didn't know what to do with myself when two people whose opinions I really trust began "prophesying" (that's a word, right?) the end of my relationship with Jennifer (9 months from one, 1 year from another). What disturbed me, though, is that when I became (I thought) visibly upset about the whole thing, it kept persisting to the point of explaining to me exactly /why/ it would end - and of course it was all about me. I probably shouldn't have asked, but I was so sad and morbidly curious about why my friends would think these things, and think them strongly enough to tell them to me personally. "You know, eventually your needs and her needs will differ, and you'll choose your own needs. And then you'll try to stay friends and roommates, but you'll bring over your new girlfriend, and it will just all end badly." And then when I asked about this apparent selfishness of mine, I couldn't tell if they were saying it was a positive thing (with a disastrous outcome) or a negative thing. I love my friends, but maybe next time we can leave the "Oracle" at home, hmm? I don't know if I'll be comfortable enough to go to UAN again. But maybe I will, who knows - it will be two weeks before I'm around for the event.
Blah. I have no energy and am starting to wallow. I suppose it's time to shut up and love on some kitties or something. My best girl will be home from work in 30 minutes or less. How's THAT for delivery? Woot!
I had fun at Unemployed Alcoholic Night last night, and it was good to see everyone again: Missy, Sean, Jenny, Krusty, Jared... good times. And I met
southern_goy beforehand, which was kind of neat. I must have smelled, though - they left right when I got there. I like the socialness of UAN - the way a number of different people all show up - it reminds my 80s heart of St. Elmo's Fire, which makes me feel kind of gooeygood.Maybe I overreacted from the Peebers, but by the end of the night I was really down about some of the conversation, and not even the hard hat I swiped from the construction site was cheering me up. I just didn't know what to do with myself when two people whose opinions I really trust began "prophesying" (that's a word, right?) the end of my relationship with Jennifer (9 months from one, 1 year from another). What disturbed me, though, is that when I became (I thought) visibly upset about the whole thing, it kept persisting to the point of explaining to me exactly /why/ it would end - and of course it was all about me. I probably shouldn't have asked, but I was so sad and morbidly curious about why my friends would think these things, and think them strongly enough to tell them to me personally. "You know, eventually your needs and her needs will differ, and you'll choose your own needs. And then you'll try to stay friends and roommates, but you'll bring over your new girlfriend, and it will just all end badly." And then when I asked about this apparent selfishness of mine, I couldn't tell if they were saying it was a positive thing (with a disastrous outcome) or a negative thing. I love my friends, but maybe next time we can leave the "Oracle" at home, hmm? I don't know if I'll be comfortable enough to go to UAN again. But maybe I will, who knows - it will be two weeks before I'm around for the event.
Blah. I have no energy and am starting to wallow. I suppose it's time to shut up and love on some kitties or something. My best girl will be home from work in 30 minutes or less. How's THAT for delivery? Woot!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2003-08-01 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Except she's tired and needs to work on her thesis. Still, it's SO GOOD to have her back breathing the same air as me.
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Date: 2003-08-01 02:49 pm (UTC)As far as attending to your own needs, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I don't think that's selfish, either. Why would you ever choose the package of someone else's needs over your own? That just sounds like a path that can only lead to a crapload of resentment.
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Date: 2003-08-01 02:52 pm (UTC)Apparently this has touched a nerve I wasn't aware existed. Bluh.
Don't worry, I'll see you again! No one looks as good with a pen in her head than you do! :)
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Date: 2003-08-01 08:17 pm (UTC)And rude to boot. Screw 'em.
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Date: 2003-08-01 09:06 pm (UTC)But perhaps I need to be more careful with my conversations.
GO!
Date: 2003-08-01 03:16 pm (UTC)I'll go if you gooooooo... *muahahahah*
^_~
Re: GO!
Date: 2003-08-01 05:33 pm (UTC)Re: GO!
Date: 2003-08-04 06:51 pm (UTC)...heh...you'd just need to remind me o_O;;
Re: GO!
Date: 2003-08-04 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 04:25 pm (UTC)Don't listen to 'em, Jude. Even if their intentions were good, that was a pretty crappy thing to tell somebody.
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Date: 2003-08-01 05:35 pm (UTC)I mean, I may think, "So-and-so's spouse is a total jagoff," but if that person is happy, what's telling them going to do?
I would appreciate it if my friends were worried about me, but that doesn't seem to be the case either. And I don't think they don't like Jen - I mean, what's not to like?
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Date: 2003-08-01 07:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 06:24 pm (UTC)ALSO, I LIKE CAPS!
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Date: 2003-08-01 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-01 07:44 pm (UTC)BTW I luv you're hair cut it's fabulous!!!
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Date: 2003-08-01 09:05 pm (UTC)Yeah, I mean, in all seriousness, I doubt I'll stop coming to UAN. However, in the future I will certainly steer clear of certain conversations with certain people.
On a more clear-headed night like tonight, I wouldn't have given the conversation a second thought. It was just being slightly tipsy myself... just enough to get totally bummed.
Thanks for rubbing my head last night. :) Rowr!
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Date: 2003-08-02 06:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-02 01:01 pm (UTC)HA HA HA HA!!
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Date: 2003-08-03 12:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-03 07:10 pm (UTC)