Culture Shock (7.5 on the Richter)

[judecorp]

We returned from San Francisco. She slept on and off while I puttered around the house. And then we decided to go to the Ohio State Fair.

Crap on a cracker, talk about a culture shock.

It occured to me only /after/ the man serving us our meat-on-a-stick called me 'sir' twice that not once, not one single solitary time, did anyone in SF call either Jennifer or myself 'sir' or any such thing. It was always 'you ladies' this and 'you ladies' that. Wow. What a difference. I wore the very same clothes!

Sometimes I really like passing. But during the entire time in California, I wanted to be a girl. I guess part of it is that my lack of hair makes me feel girlier than my suave previous haircut, but it might be more than that. I don't know. Regardless, I wasn't passing there, and I didn't mind at all. But I didn't realize it until tonight, when I wasn't even the slightest bit amused or giddy about being mistaken for a boy.

We've been home less than 24 hours, and already I'm crying inside to go back. It's not even that we didn't get stared at there. It's that the only people staring were the tourists, and well, they assumed we were locals, and tried to hide their interloper stares. Clandestine rudeness - what a concept! And I'm already missing decent public transportation, lack of humidity, the smell of the ocean, busydirtycityness, and personal speed. Le sigh.

Jennifer and I had a couple of good, long talks about what we want as individuals, and where we'd like to live next. It's ironic that one of the 'goals' of the trip was for her to entice me into falling in love with San Francisco so we would move there, but in actuality, I think I convinced her that Boston might be a better choice for us. I love everything about California except the obscene distance from my family. Unfortunately that's a really /big/ con, especially when I already lament being too far in Columbus.

So watch out, Bostonians - we might be neighbors. I guess we'll have to visit first and asses the Stare Factor and the Gender Determination Quotient.

Comments

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

One thing that a number of my friends and I have observed. If someone is trying to puzzle out your gender, especially in the Midwest, they'll assume you're male simply because a woman misidentified as male is less likely to take offense and/or become violent than a man misidentified as female. I'm pretty sure that this is what happened at the State Fair.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a great observation. I'd never thought of that! (Especially the violence. Since I'm non-violent, I never think about that.)

You're a smarty.

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

Well, being one of those people that has come to the gender middle-ground from the other direction (and has far too many MtF friends who take offence at being called "he" by default), it's something I've been very much aware of. The thing that amuses me is that I've been to Kroger's recently, with three days of facial hair growth on my face, and I've been called "ma'am". I think it may have something to do with wearing shorts and sporting cleanly shaved legs. *shrugs*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I never get called anything at Kroger. Maybe I'm going to the wrong Kroger. ;)

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

Well, this was partly due to being at the UScan line and having trouble getting the UPC on a bag of apples to scan...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I love u-scan. It is even one of my livejournal interests.

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

I love the U-Scan. The first one I used was at the Meijer in Bowling Green when I visited campus in May of 2000 (that's when I got the BGSU stickers in my car windows and my BGSU mouse pad). My folks aren't too keen on them. I think that they worry about the cashiers being put out of work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

My dad doesn't like them, either - but I think it's because he thinks the machine will try to "cheat" him.

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

My parents get that it's the same scanner, whether it's a cashier scanning it or them. But my mom did sales clerk work when she was in high school and college, so I think that she feels a need to be loyal to the cashiers. *shrugs*