Norton Lezzie Unemployed Utilities

[judecorp]

My computer is still checking files. (How many of them can there BE? It's been over 12 hours.) I have done absolutely everything on my "pre-trip" checklist aside from taking out the trash and packing my things. The house is in perfect condition so Jen doesn't have to worry about anything while I'm gone. That makes me happy.

I started reading Melissa Etheridge's autobiography this morning when I filched it off of Jen's nightstand. It's quick, easy reading, because Ms. Etheridge is hardly Shakespeare. I can get my voyeuristic "VH-1 Behind the Music" fix at the same time.

It's funny - when she's writing about her adolescence, she writes about going to summer camp and having an obsessive relationship with her friend Jo. She talks about professing "TLA" (that's 'true love always' for all you boys) for this boy named Melvin in her diary, but in the same entry she whines and rages about Jo ignoring her. That tickled me.

I always think that I didn't have any of those stereotypical queer upbringing moments, since I didn't date much, wasn't interested in dating much, and then practiced serial monogamy with a string of slightly femmey boys. But then I read that entry about Melvin and Jo, and I think about my friendship with Michelle and how obsessive it was. And how we spent every minute together. And how I hated her boyfriend, even while I loved mine.

And then I think about how people in school (mostly her boyfriend's asshat friends) called us "lezzies." Looking around my apartment that I share with my best girl, living up to their expectations, it makes me snicker. But then I think about Michelle, married, with kids. I wonder what /she/ would think about where I am. I wonder if it would, in some way, upset her that I'm queer. I wonder if she went to the reunion last week. I'm suddenly overcome with this sadistic idea to write to her to catch up.

NB: Don't ever become unemployed. See what happens to your mind?

I have a lunch date with my prettyvacantone! I am so excited!

Comments

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

hooray for lunch dates! I have one today and tomorrow. where are you going? I'm doing Slammers both days.. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I have no idea - we haven't decided. But now that you say Slammer's, I want to go there and eat their pizza. Mmmmmm, pineapple pizza!

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

__disfigurine__ is making ME a spinach artichoke pizza. MMMMMM :) We're goin at 1:30... :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, spinach artichoke. You have good taste!

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

good taste? for dating someone who can cook? ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

For choosing good things.

(And for dating someone who can cook. Yes. I highly recommend it!)

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Do you have some particular virus problem you are trying to track down?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

No, nothing particular. But my computer has been running like crap, and Jen happened to have Norton, so I figured I'd give it a shot. She had a bunch of viruses, and we pass files back and forth, so...

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

are you JUST scanning for viruses, or running some defragmenter or something too? Just curious if it is restarting at all? (disk defragmenter will do that if you have programs running -- it will sense changes and restart all over again)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's checking for "viruses that affect installation" which is like, part one of using this silly software. It's basically (as far as I can tell) just going through each and every single file on the whole damned computer - and has been hung up on my temp internet files.

I don't think it's been restarting, but I admit I haven't been watching it. It took a long time on Jen's computer, too.

No other programs should be running. I booted my computer up with this Norton CD.

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

hmmmmm. do you have a sense of how far it is along? wonder if stopping it and deleting those temp files and starting over would be a good idea, or if you'd risk it starting allover and taking another 12 hours.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I have been wondering.

I /do/ know that when it does eventually stop, I'm going to delete all of those damned files before I install the program. Because I am /not/ going through this again!

I wish there was some sort of status bar, but there's not. :( I'm worried that maybe my computer is just not making progress... I mean, there's no way to know.

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

that sucks, very bad design. There should ALWAYS be a status bar!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I agree!

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

Did you have a good lunch? I did :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I did! Brandie and I walked to the Short North and ate at Panima's. And then she bought me an ice cream cone and we walked to Sean's to terrorize him.

[smurfbrother.livejournal.com]

I recently did a full scan of the HD on my laptop, and it had about 144000 files.

That salada files.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

How long did it take?

[smurfbrother.livejournal.com]

Couple hours? but my computer is probably vastly faster than yours...2.2ghz?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't even know the speed of mine. Whee. I think I'm just going to stop it. It's moving more quickly now, though. I wonder if the heat had something to do with it.

[smurfbrother.livejournal.com]

If it has been going for more than a few hours, something is wrong.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Can you be more specific? I'm eager to help if I can.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I can't. I mean, she did the whole thing because she'd gotten that blaster worm, but when she ran the antivirus software, she said that it had found several other virii. I never asked what they were.

I am, however, going to call her to see how long hers took to run, because this is getting ridiculous.

[osuptygal.livejournal.com]

NB: Don't ever become unemployed. See what happens to your mind?
Thank god I'm not the only one!!!!
I spent a couple of hours trying to find out where my exboyfriend (the only guy I think I may have ever loved, and who kept professing his love to me years after I HAD to break up with him do to certain circumstances) lives and what his phone number is. I even figured out what his middle name is from Franklin County's public records. I got really excited when I was 90% sure I'd figured out which *** was him; I got up the next day, called the number, and it isn't working!!!!!!!

I just want to see how he's doing/see if things got better for him.
I haven't thought about him in ages, though...it's the fucking unemployed~spare~time that's messing with my head!

This is why I've started painting every wall in my apartment. It's keeping me out of trouble.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I've been quite the Holly Homemaker. It keeps me from overanalyzing my life and everyone else's. (Sort of.)

[crazy-likea-fox.livejournal.com]

I've often thought about contacting one of my friends I haven't talked to in a while.... then again I don't know if I'm that interested in knowing. Last I talked to her (3 odd years ago) she joined a sorority, was sleeping with it sounded like at least 2 random boys a week (and not understanding why they didn't call)... and otherwise becoming someone I really couldn't help but not care about. I envision a giant set of rubber stamps, one for the sorority girls, one for the frat boys, one for the A&F/ American Eagle catalogue wannabe's, etc etc etc. Now, people weren't born that way, but at a certain point should they fall into one of those generic categories, a giant stamp with a really big hand will come out of the sky and stamp that person into their mould eternally. Like the giant FREE stamp in Cleveland. Honestly, I went to one of my classes yesterday (and aside the fact that I was at least 3 years older than everyone) they all looked THE SAME. It was freaky. Like Children of the Damned. Or the Brady Bunch. I went home and hid under the covers.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah. When I went back to school here, I was a few years older than most of the students. It was weird to see so many people who looked and acted so alike. Creepy.

[transientdyke.livejournal.com]

I always think that I didn't have any of those stereotypical queer upbringing moments, since I didn't date much, wasn't interested in dating much, and then practiced serial monogamy with a string of slightly femmey boys. But then I read that entry about Melvin and Jo, and I think about my friendship with Michelle and how obsessive it was. And how we spent every minute together. And how I hated her boyfriend, even while I loved mine.

And then I think about how people in school (mostly her boyfriend's asshat friends) called us "lezzies." Looking around my apartment that I share with my best girl, living up to their expectations, it makes me snicker. But then I think about Michelle, married, with kids. I wonder what /she/ would think about where I am. I wonder if it would, in some way, upset her that I'm queer. I wonder if she went to the reunion last week. I'm suddenly overcome with this sadistic idea to write to her to catch up.

(I realize I just cut and pasted half your entry, but I had to emphasize how completely I can identify with all of that)

I felt the same way, looking back - that I didn't really have any queer zen moments. But then I think about all of my female best friends, and how I hated their boyfriends and got jealous all of the time, and it starts to make more sense. And all of my friends/people I went to school with were calling us "lesbos," even thought there wasn't (at least, that I realized at the time) sexual feelings there.

And now here I am an out lesbian, and there they all are: married with children. Ha.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's funny, because Michelle and I really went to the extreme with our 'friendship.' I remember that for every holiday/birthday/etc, we would buy cards from the "love" section... it wasn't unlike her to buy me a card that would say something like, "Merry Christmas to my wife" or "Happy Birthday to the One I Love" or whatever. And it was always an unspoken 'deal' between us that it was all a joke, but it really freaked people out (at my Catholic high school). It especially angered her boyfriend. She called me "mon petit chou" (which means 'my little cabbage) - a french term of endearment.

And then, when my boyfriend was away in the army (because, really, is there a better boyfriend than one that is halfway across the country??), we would spend every moment together, laying on her bed, talking. And sometimes, I would find myself spooning behind her, and playing with her hair as we talked. And smelling her.

I think she would be somewhat disturbed if/when she found out about me. I think she would worry that I was being sexual with her, when I really don't believe I was. I mean, I think if she had kissed me, I would have loved it... but I didn't even think of that. It didn't even occur to me until after I had gone to college that our friendship wasn't exactly like all of my other friends' friendships with their female friends. (I hadn't had too many girl friends before M.)

I remember thinking in my head, "All straight girls must spoon their friends on their beds, because I'm a straight girl, and I am spooning my friend on her bed."