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judecorpToday (well, I guess yesterday by now) didn't start so well. The middle wasn't terribly great, either. But it ended on a pretty good note, so that's something.
So it started at 4:30am, when the alarm went off. I hadn't really fallen asleep until about 2, so I was pretty blurry. I turned off the alarm and debated on taking a shower, or waiting until I arrived in RI. I opted for shower (thank goodness!), and headed to the bathroom. I showered, dressed, woke Jen up, and then we headed to the airport.
It took me all of 2 minutes to get through check-in, and I had obnoxious amounts of time to wait. My plane was supposed to leave at 6:25am. I arrived at the airport at 5:08am. I was bored by 5:15am. I was too tired to read my heady book (Female Masculinity) but was afraid to fall asleep and miss my plane. We boarded the plane on time and pulled out onto the runway. And then the pilot said that due to the big storm (lots of thunder and lightning and rain), we would wait for about 5-10 minutes. This turned into 45 minutes or more. I had a 7:50am connection in Cleveland. I stepped foot into the Cleveland airport at 7:53am. My flight had left, though almost every other flight had been held for the people on my plane. I went to customer service to find out when the next plane was. 4pm. 4pm - and they couldn't hold my 7:50am plane for 5 minutes??!?! The rep told me that I could arrive in RI at 3:30pm if I switched to Northwest and flew to Detroit first, and hung out there for two hours. So that's Columbus to Cleveland to Detroit to Providence - from 6:25am to 3:30pm. (I was supposed to land in PVD at 9:25am.) To console me, they offered me a food voucher. For $4. Which bought me a bagel and a bottle of water, but I had to haggle for the bottle of water, because really, what can you buy at an airport with $4? (The total was actually supposed to be like $4.30, but the woman felt bad for me and gave it to me anyway.)
Jen gave me the number to her prepaid calling card so I could call her from Detroit for 15 minutes. I read and amused myself and walked a lot, and it wasn't /all/ that bad in the end. But it was really long. And really boring. I was looking forward to just chilling out when it was all over. This, of course, went right out the window when Dad picked me up at the airport.
We had been together for 15 minutes tops when he completely and totally offended me. I don't know if I've ever been so blindsided. We were at Baggage Claim, of all things. He told me that he was planning a 60th anniversary party for my grandparents this November, and that I should come home. I told him I didn't know if Jen and I would have the money, but I would find a way for us to go. I told him I was going to bring Jen, and we were shooting the breeze about that and about how I should adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with my grandparents, and somewhere in there he called me a "switch hitter," and it kind of ticked me off. I'm not a big fan of biphobia anyway, but I was tired and airport cranky and not really in the mood. And then, he hit me with the big slammer.
My father randomly decided to tell me that he knew that Jen and I wouldn't last very long, and that I wasn't really serious about her. And that "in a year or two, I would 'switch back.'"
I went from zero to pissed in -76234968 seconds.
I stammered for a few minutes because I couldn't believe he would just randomly say something like that. Finally, I asked him why he said that and he couldn't give me an answer. I was still floored. Struggling, I told him that I was offended, that what he said was terrible, and that I /know/ he would never say that crap to my brother. He said, "Well, Rick and Gretchen are getting married." Well jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, Dad, how am I supposed to respond to that? I fumed for a little while longer, and my dad would keep changing the subject, and I would keep bringing it back up.
I told my father that I was genuinely surprised that he would be so callous and judgmental about my relationship, especially because he got so much crap for so long and was so uncomfortable because my grandparents gave him a lot of crap about his last marriage. He kept insisting that he wasn't doing or saying anything wrong, because he'd "read on the internet that 26-29 year old women are restless and unsettled." And he claimed that was the only reason he implied that Jen and I would break up.
I was still reeling with the idea that he would flagrantly tell me that Jen and I weren't serious to my cranky, overtired face that hasn't seen him since Christmas day. Especially because we weren't "getting married." This burns me because regardless of how serious Jen and I may or may not be, I wouldn't even /think/ about doing anything remotely resembling getting married until after my brother gets married. This is /his/ time, and /his/ spotlight, and I am not in a million trillion years going to move in on that. Duh.
What REALLY pisses me off is that my father is certainly aware that Jen and I moved in together a few months ago, which was a huge step for me and an enormous commitment to our relationship and each other. I've only ever lived with one person (in that way) before, and we were engaged and then married. I've never casually moved in with an SO, and I don't intend to. My commitment and my relationship are serious, and they are important to me. He also knows that we're planning to relocate to another state together, which is a bit of a long-term thing. And so I persisted in my ire and eventually my father offered me a lame apology, but I was so deflated from the day that I sort of mucked around and didn't pay attention to anything he was saying. It was like the wind had drained out of me.
And then I found out that my grandmother knew I was coming to visit, because my father had told her. And then I found out that he told her I was coming to RI for my reunion (which was incorrect, that was last week and I missed it), and NOT specifically for her birthday. Her birthday (and the surprise of it) was the sole reason I was flying all over the Great Lakes all danged day and it didn't even matter. Ugh times two. So I talk to my grandparents for all of 30 minutes and then they go to do other things (we didn't connect with them until after 7pm). And then I decide to drive to my mom's and surprise her.
And that was actually a really good experience. They had some organic corn on the cob, which I ate (yum), and ice cream (yum), and John (Mom's husband) was telling me about their upcoming January vacation (they go somewhere every January) - they are going to the Sandals resort in St. Lucia. He was really excited. I remarked that I'd heard that Sandals doesn't allow single people to go. My mom was quick to pipe in with "And same-sex couples, too, only opposite-sex couples!" I knew this, but it was neat to have my mom say those things. But then she wanted to talk about everyone she knows who is gay, and I was like, "Gah, can't we talk about the dogs' medical problems like normal??!" My mom says Jen's name all over the place now, and asks who knows what about us and what they say, and it's actually really nice to know that she's been working so hard to be cool. *pleased*
And now I have my jammies on and my teeth are brushed, and I'm about to crawl into bed. It is a lonely bed, which is sad, but I am SO wiped out. I miss my Jennifer very much.
So it started at 4:30am, when the alarm went off. I hadn't really fallen asleep until about 2, so I was pretty blurry. I turned off the alarm and debated on taking a shower, or waiting until I arrived in RI. I opted for shower (thank goodness!), and headed to the bathroom. I showered, dressed, woke Jen up, and then we headed to the airport.
It took me all of 2 minutes to get through check-in, and I had obnoxious amounts of time to wait. My plane was supposed to leave at 6:25am. I arrived at the airport at 5:08am. I was bored by 5:15am. I was too tired to read my heady book (Female Masculinity) but was afraid to fall asleep and miss my plane. We boarded the plane on time and pulled out onto the runway. And then the pilot said that due to the big storm (lots of thunder and lightning and rain), we would wait for about 5-10 minutes. This turned into 45 minutes or more. I had a 7:50am connection in Cleveland. I stepped foot into the Cleveland airport at 7:53am. My flight had left, though almost every other flight had been held for the people on my plane. I went to customer service to find out when the next plane was. 4pm. 4pm - and they couldn't hold my 7:50am plane for 5 minutes??!?! The rep told me that I could arrive in RI at 3:30pm if I switched to Northwest and flew to Detroit first, and hung out there for two hours. So that's Columbus to Cleveland to Detroit to Providence - from 6:25am to 3:30pm. (I was supposed to land in PVD at 9:25am.) To console me, they offered me a food voucher. For $4. Which bought me a bagel and a bottle of water, but I had to haggle for the bottle of water, because really, what can you buy at an airport with $4? (The total was actually supposed to be like $4.30, but the woman felt bad for me and gave it to me anyway.)
Jen gave me the number to her prepaid calling card so I could call her from Detroit for 15 minutes. I read and amused myself and walked a lot, and it wasn't /all/ that bad in the end. But it was really long. And really boring. I was looking forward to just chilling out when it was all over. This, of course, went right out the window when Dad picked me up at the airport.
We had been together for 15 minutes tops when he completely and totally offended me. I don't know if I've ever been so blindsided. We were at Baggage Claim, of all things. He told me that he was planning a 60th anniversary party for my grandparents this November, and that I should come home. I told him I didn't know if Jen and I would have the money, but I would find a way for us to go. I told him I was going to bring Jen, and we were shooting the breeze about that and about how I should adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with my grandparents, and somewhere in there he called me a "switch hitter," and it kind of ticked me off. I'm not a big fan of biphobia anyway, but I was tired and airport cranky and not really in the mood. And then, he hit me with the big slammer.
My father randomly decided to tell me that he knew that Jen and I wouldn't last very long, and that I wasn't really serious about her. And that "in a year or two, I would 'switch back.'"
I went from zero to pissed in -76234968 seconds.
I stammered for a few minutes because I couldn't believe he would just randomly say something like that. Finally, I asked him why he said that and he couldn't give me an answer. I was still floored. Struggling, I told him that I was offended, that what he said was terrible, and that I /know/ he would never say that crap to my brother. He said, "Well, Rick and Gretchen are getting married." Well jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, Dad, how am I supposed to respond to that? I fumed for a little while longer, and my dad would keep changing the subject, and I would keep bringing it back up.
I told my father that I was genuinely surprised that he would be so callous and judgmental about my relationship, especially because he got so much crap for so long and was so uncomfortable because my grandparents gave him a lot of crap about his last marriage. He kept insisting that he wasn't doing or saying anything wrong, because he'd "read on the internet that 26-29 year old women are restless and unsettled." And he claimed that was the only reason he implied that Jen and I would break up.
I was still reeling with the idea that he would flagrantly tell me that Jen and I weren't serious to my cranky, overtired face that hasn't seen him since Christmas day. Especially because we weren't "getting married." This burns me because regardless of how serious Jen and I may or may not be, I wouldn't even /think/ about doing anything remotely resembling getting married until after my brother gets married. This is /his/ time, and /his/ spotlight, and I am not in a million trillion years going to move in on that. Duh.
What REALLY pisses me off is that my father is certainly aware that Jen and I moved in together a few months ago, which was a huge step for me and an enormous commitment to our relationship and each other. I've only ever lived with one person (in that way) before, and we were engaged and then married. I've never casually moved in with an SO, and I don't intend to. My commitment and my relationship are serious, and they are important to me. He also knows that we're planning to relocate to another state together, which is a bit of a long-term thing. And so I persisted in my ire and eventually my father offered me a lame apology, but I was so deflated from the day that I sort of mucked around and didn't pay attention to anything he was saying. It was like the wind had drained out of me.
And then I found out that my grandmother knew I was coming to visit, because my father had told her. And then I found out that he told her I was coming to RI for my reunion (which was incorrect, that was last week and I missed it), and NOT specifically for her birthday. Her birthday (and the surprise of it) was the sole reason I was flying all over the Great Lakes all danged day and it didn't even matter. Ugh times two. So I talk to my grandparents for all of 30 minutes and then they go to do other things (we didn't connect with them until after 7pm). And then I decide to drive to my mom's and surprise her.
And that was actually a really good experience. They had some organic corn on the cob, which I ate (yum), and ice cream (yum), and John (Mom's husband) was telling me about their upcoming January vacation (they go somewhere every January) - they are going to the Sandals resort in St. Lucia. He was really excited. I remarked that I'd heard that Sandals doesn't allow single people to go. My mom was quick to pipe in with "And same-sex couples, too, only opposite-sex couples!" I knew this, but it was neat to have my mom say those things. But then she wanted to talk about everyone she knows who is gay, and I was like, "Gah, can't we talk about the dogs' medical problems like normal??!" My mom says Jen's name all over the place now, and asks who knows what about us and what they say, and it's actually really nice to know that she's been working so hard to be cool. *pleased*
And now I have my jammies on and my teeth are brushed, and I'm about to crawl into bed. It is a lonely bed, which is sad, but I am SO wiped out. I miss my Jennifer very much.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-27 10:00 pm (UTC)You could have DRIVEN to Providence and it would have taken you only an hour more than that.
But then she wanted to talk about everyone she knows who is gay
Because you know, all gay people know each other.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-27 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 07:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 07:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-29 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 08:03 am (UTC)Parents are meant to be the bane of our lives ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 04:23 pm (UTC)And yay for Female Masculinity. I have that book. I've never gotten all the way through it (I haven't been in school for years and I feel like you need to be a student emersed in post modern semantics to understand some of her dense sentences.
What do you think of it?
no subject
Date: 2003-08-28 10:09 pm (UTC)I like really heady books. It hasn't been that long since I was in school, and I /do/ feel like I am reading a textbook. Except I don't have to write a damned paper on it. :)