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judecorpI suppose I never really explained what came of the big explosion this afternoon. In all actuality, it was rather cathartic and probably very necessary. I was purportedly in a bad mood because of the weather, and just generally feeling lousy. She was purportedly in a bad mood because of her job.
What really happened was that an incident occured last night that really threw us both for a loop. We were watching Gay TV with Peas and Sarah, and I was being bratty and laying across the couch. To try to get me up, Jen sat down and leaned back on me, basically trying to squish me into submission (I think). What actually happened, though, was that she was pressing down really hard on me and my diaphragm, and I couldn't get enough air. I could breathe, but too shallow to really get enough oxygen, so I kept pushing at her. Everyone was laughing, which was making me laugh, too, but since I couldn't breathe, laughing was really kicking my butt. So I was telling her to stop, and that I couldn't breathe, and she didn't stop.
Eventually it was all too much, and I started with those really asthmatic-like coughs that sound like your lungs are being scraped off, and I was wheezing really badly. She got off me then and I sat up and was just coughing and coughing.
I was really scared, not only because I couldn't breathe (and have this weird fear of strangulation), but because I had said "Stop" several times and everyone kept laughing. I've been in other situations where I've wanted some sort of activity (playing or otherwise) to stop, and it hasn't, and it really creeped me out. She was freaked out because she felt that she hurt me and hadn't meant to, and that her rough-housing went too far. But last night, both of us were really upset about it but neither of us talked about it. I don't think either of us knew where to begin or what to say.
Basically, that incident was really nagging on both of us and coloring everything. And it wasn't until everything had blown out of proportion (about her job woes and my feeling lousy) that we actually ever brought up the whole smooshing thing.
So yeah. Mental note: let's not wait until that happens again, okay?
I should be sleeping. I have to bring
Lemur to work tomorrow.
What really happened was that an incident occured last night that really threw us both for a loop. We were watching Gay TV with Peas and Sarah, and I was being bratty and laying across the couch. To try to get me up, Jen sat down and leaned back on me, basically trying to squish me into submission (I think). What actually happened, though, was that she was pressing down really hard on me and my diaphragm, and I couldn't get enough air. I could breathe, but too shallow to really get enough oxygen, so I kept pushing at her. Everyone was laughing, which was making me laugh, too, but since I couldn't breathe, laughing was really kicking my butt. So I was telling her to stop, and that I couldn't breathe, and she didn't stop.
Eventually it was all too much, and I started with those really asthmatic-like coughs that sound like your lungs are being scraped off, and I was wheezing really badly. She got off me then and I sat up and was just coughing and coughing.
I was really scared, not only because I couldn't breathe (and have this weird fear of strangulation), but because I had said "Stop" several times and everyone kept laughing. I've been in other situations where I've wanted some sort of activity (playing or otherwise) to stop, and it hasn't, and it really creeped me out. She was freaked out because she felt that she hurt me and hadn't meant to, and that her rough-housing went too far. But last night, both of us were really upset about it but neither of us talked about it. I don't think either of us knew where to begin or what to say.
Basically, that incident was really nagging on both of us and coloring everything. And it wasn't until everything had blown out of proportion (about her job woes and my feeling lousy) that we actually ever brought up the whole smooshing thing.
So yeah. Mental note: let's not wait until that happens again, okay?
I should be sleeping. I have to bring
Lemur to work tomorrow.
