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judecorpSometimes I feel like I'm really thinking this relationship to death. I mean, I really beat myself up about it sometimes: Shouldn't I just enjoy it? Shouldn't I spend less time thinking about it? Things are good, shouldn't I just let them go? But, heck, I'm a thinker - it's just what I do, I analyze (and overanalyze) things all the time. So why should this be any exception, especially when it's so important to me?
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murnkay once pointed out that relationships actually need /more/ work when things are good, because it is at those times when we are most likely to take our partners for granted. Because things are running smoothly, we could forget the little things that make relationships worth having. He's a smart monkey, that's why I keep him around you know. So I think that even though we're coming on two years and the last year has been pretty much exclusively smooth sailing, that still gives me the right to think too much! Neener.
So I was thinking about finances, especially. As we've moved into shared living space, we've acquired a number of shared bills between us. It's not feasible for us to pool all of our money into a joint bank account, largely because I don't particularly like them (and because I think that having each one of us know what we're spending all of our money on is ridiculously unnecessary), but at the same time, I don't know that I want to spend the future writing checks to each other to "pay back" for this bill or that bill or the groceries or whatever. My mother has done that for twenty years, and it works for her, but I think for me it will get really annoying really quickly. I don't want to keep up with that kind of accounting: Did you pay me back for the electric bill? Did I give you half the phone bill? If the phone bill is $30, and the electric is $70, why don't you just give me... augh, it gives me a headache.
I was sort of thinking of a financial compromise in which we would keep our current separate bank accounts (checking and savings) and open a new account that would be shared but would only include the money used to pay the joint bills. That way, we would know how much needed to go in there per month, and we wouldn't have to play the payback game or the write two checks to the same person game. At the same time, having an account with both names on it makes our partnership more formal in another area of the legal world, and I do derive some satisfaction from that. I was also puttering around with the idea of a joint savings account with which we would save money toward our next moving venture, or a future trip, or something... but I decided against that for now. (Neither one of us is in much of a position to save right now anyway.)
So, what do you guys who are in relationships do with your finances? And does this strategy sound feasible? I appreciate any and all input. Even yours. :)
murnkay once pointed out that relationships actually need /more/ work when things are good, because it is at those times when we are most likely to take our partners for granted. Because things are running smoothly, we could forget the little things that make relationships worth having. He's a smart monkey, that's why I keep him around you know. So I think that even though we're coming on two years and the last year has been pretty much exclusively smooth sailing, that still gives me the right to think too much! Neener.So I was thinking about finances, especially. As we've moved into shared living space, we've acquired a number of shared bills between us. It's not feasible for us to pool all of our money into a joint bank account, largely because I don't particularly like them (and because I think that having each one of us know what we're spending all of our money on is ridiculously unnecessary), but at the same time, I don't know that I want to spend the future writing checks to each other to "pay back" for this bill or that bill or the groceries or whatever. My mother has done that for twenty years, and it works for her, but I think for me it will get really annoying really quickly. I don't want to keep up with that kind of accounting: Did you pay me back for the electric bill? Did I give you half the phone bill? If the phone bill is $30, and the electric is $70, why don't you just give me... augh, it gives me a headache.
I was sort of thinking of a financial compromise in which we would keep our current separate bank accounts (checking and savings) and open a new account that would be shared but would only include the money used to pay the joint bills. That way, we would know how much needed to go in there per month, and we wouldn't have to play the payback game or the write two checks to the same person game. At the same time, having an account with both names on it makes our partnership more formal in another area of the legal world, and I do derive some satisfaction from that. I was also puttering around with the idea of a joint savings account with which we would save money toward our next moving venture, or a future trip, or something... but I decided against that for now. (Neither one of us is in much of a position to save right now anyway.)
So, what do you guys who are in relationships do with your finances? And does this strategy sound feasible? I appreciate any and all input. Even yours. :)
