Last night's dream

[judecorp]

It was awful. It was way more connected to my waking life than my dreams ever are. In my dream, everyone was upset with me. They were all yelling. For some reason, we were all in this big room. Aaron was telling me all of the things that were 'wrong' with me, and I was so upset and angry, but then he was telling me he wanted to get back together, and I was the bad guy for saying no. And Jodie was mad at me, and Mark and I were fighting, and my Grandmother was there telling me all about how she told me I would make a crappy wife and there was something wrong with me and it was because I wasn't girly and she always knew, always knew. And I kept trying to call people that weren't in the room, people from OSU and other places, and no one would answer, or if they did, they would hang up on me.

I woke up with my heart pounding in my throat and hot tears behind my eyes. It was 3AM. And in the inky subspace between waking and dreaming when everything is so real, I almost called Mark, to apologize. To remind me that people care about me.

It was terrifying.

(p.s. Today has still been a kick ass day. I am eating chocolate ice cream for lunch, and am talking to Luke and Christina. YAY!)

Comments

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

*BIG HUG*

I hate when that happens...my sympathies.

This will get better...it just takes so much time. :-(

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Things are better every day. And every day that goes by is a day closer to September. :)

But really, if I hadn't been quarreling with my two best friends, I think I would have been Superman all week. :)

Thanks for caring, Lori, you're sweet. We'll have to work out get-together plans soon.

[saldemonium.livejournal.com]

Oh, you have my sympathy. Dreams like that are horrid. I've had them myself, waking up sobbing, certain it was all real, and then I was so confused for a while, trying to remember what was real, and what wasn't. *hugs* I hope you have much better dreams t'night.

[vidicon.livejournal.com]

Back when I was married, my wife had a dream in which I did something horrible, apparently. She never told me what it was, but she was pissed at me for a week.

It must have been bad, whatever it was, because I doubt she was that upset with me when we got divorced....

[*]

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You know, that's the first thing I've read in a long time with the word 'divorce' in it that made me smile. :)

Thanks.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I hate that 10 minute (or more) period where you don't remember that you were sleeping and are thoroughly convinced that your dream was real. When I was a little kid, I was once entirely convinced that my dad and my brother had gone out, and here it was 4am, and why weren't they home yet? I waited up for 2 hours crying my eyes out before I thought to check their beds.

Of course, I used to sleepwalk then, so the fact that I was in the living room watching television when I woke up made it all the more real.

And thanks. Here's to better dreams! You too.