What would you give for your kid fears?

[judecorp]

I just cleaned the cat boxes (ugh) and threw out tons and tons of garbage. It's really spooky out behind my apartment building when it's dark outside. But at least I feel better that the stuff is done - I've been meaning to take out the garbage for a couple of days. I'm restless and don't know what to do with myself. If I was smart, I would read for a bit and then go to sleep, but I'm sort of staying up with Jen as a feat of solidarity while she finishes her thesis. I'm really proud of her for continuing to work on it, especially because of how much it has frustrated and infuriated her. She's the greatest.

Remind me to never tool around on Idealist.org again, because it makes me want to randomly apply for Big Gay Jobs around the country even though we're in no position to move. My worry is that I'll spend so much time in some other area of social work that I won't have a Big Gay Resume anymore. At least I am keeping up with the volunteering, but maybe I should try to sit on the Board of an organization to get more Big Gay Experience while I'm slaving away in child welfare. *sigh* It's all so frustrating. At this point, I'd even work for the HRC.

Gah, I thought I was so set on my way to the Big Gay Career, but there just aren't enough opportunities here in Columbus. Aside from the fact that there aren't a lot of organizations to choose from, this is definitely an "everyone knows everyone" community. This is such an exciting and fluid time for the GLBT community, and I want to be in on it! Does anyone have any suggestions? Blarg.

Tomorrow I have an all-day training on cultural diversity. How exciting (not). I should check to see what the weather will be like - then maybe I'll ride my bike there in the morning. I'm trying to remember where the other building is... I think it's in the Weinland Park area and I don't know if I'd rather take my car or my bike there. I suppose it's better if I drive, so that if I get out early I can zoom down to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver's license. (It has to be done by my birthday.)

The whole "spooky back stairs" thing has me thinking about things that scare me. In no particular order, and with differing levels of seriousness, I am scared of the following things:

• boiler rooms (thanks, Freddy Krueger!)


• failure


• creepy clowns, especially those with a lot of teeth


• ending another serious, long-term relationship


• never getting into my coveted career


• choking/strangulation


• my car breaking down in some random place


• loud noises

What about you? What are you afraid of?

Comments

[mythicalbeast.livejournal.com]

being disliked, hated.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Me too, though I've been working on that a lot over the years.

[mythicalbeast.livejournal.com]

If you've seen "The Big Hit", I totally relate to that aspect of his character. Found it really funny when it was pointed out to him that the friends and family of all the people he's killed over the years might not like him very much.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen that. Is it good?

[mythicalbeast.livejournal.com]

I find it pretty funny in that tongue and cheak way. It's over the top, but never ever takes it self seriously.

Modern B-Movie?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Aha.

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

Spiders. Duh!

Oh, and read this: :)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chapel_of_words/56668.html?nc=1

(yes, anything gay-related is automagically jude-related, I know I know)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Spiders are pretty creepy. That post, however, is not creepy. Thanks for pointing it out to me. I am a Big Gay Sponge. ;)

I actually miss hearing things like that on a daily basis, so thank you. Gets my brain going again!

[communista.livejournal.com]

The dark, silence, deep water, spiders, utter solitude.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Deep water? Really? Is it a drowning thing?

I love silence, especially when I'm trying to sleep. mmmmmm.

[communista.livejournal.com]

I don't think so, but in regard to silence, the TV is ALWAYS on when I'm sleeping, I can't sleep otherwise.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that would drive me batty batshit.

[goddamnelf.livejournal.com]

The only thing that I fear is an infringement on my personal freedom. My ability to make choices about the course of my life is paramount to my entire existence. I also fear that Bush may be re-elected. It would seem that the two are one and the same.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I also fear that Bush may be re-elected.

Right now, that is one of my all-time biggest fears.

[kaasirpent]

Spiders.
Losing my mental faculties and knowing it.
Not being in control of what I say and do (as in being under the influence of alcohol or other drugs).
Flying insects bigger than, say, a quarter.
Losing those who are dear to me.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can see those about you.

[nikongirln70.livejournal.com]

*knives
*being stabbed
*failing classes
*sleeping through important meetings/class
*running out of money
*people who lie to me

hey, ps, did you ever get ummmm any *cpugh* mail *cough*???

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*cough* no *cough* (not yet, anyway.)

Oh yeah, "running out of money" is a big one for me, too.

[spacecadetjen.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid of:

- losing my job
- heights
- deep water
- grates in sidewalks
- being thought the worst of
- being really sick and alone

Oh there's so much more, but those are the biggies.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

grates in sidewalks

Really? Why?

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

ew. yeah, i'm on board with grates in sidewalks. also, the "open stairs" you have to climb when you go on a roller coaster.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Do you have a problem with the "open stairs" in our apartment?

[spacecadetjen.livejournal.com]

I might fall through the tiny little holes!! Or maybe the whole thing will collapse??!!!

Crazy, I know. But most fears are pretty irrational.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That's awesome! :)

[elspazz0.livejournal.com]

*sharp objects
*HIV
*cancer
*someone hurting my sister
*the death of my parents
*waking up one day and finding myself back in high school
*heights
*losing Carlos Carlos

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It would be fun to be in high school for, like, one day, but after that... ugh. *shudder*

fear

[xanthe42.livejournal.com]

• creepy crawly insects
  
• being constricted (i freak when my sheets get wrapped too tightly around me)
  
• drowning
  
• crowds
  
• going bankrupt
  
• going insane
  
• death

Re: fear

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think you feel about constriction the way I feel about strangulation.

Anything near my neck makes me FREAK.

The only thing we have to fear...

[kjtoo.livejournal.com]

... is spiders. Most of them. Actually, the majority of critters with more than four legs creep me out. I mean, I don't mind ladybugs and houseflies, but I don't care for bees or centipedes, roaches and such.

I've gotten a little better about heights, but they still make me uncomfortable.

Oh yeah, there's that whole fear of failure, too.

Apathy scares me, too. Well, it used to. Now I just don't care.

Re: The only thing we have to fear...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Wow, spiders is a biggie for people, it seems. I don't mind them.

Apathy scares me, too. Well, it used to. Now I just don't care.

HA HA HA HA!

[carina-s.livejournal.com]

you're my big gay smurfy. if you don't find something now, you will. i have faith.

i am so swamped with homework, i won't be able to hang out with you before the birthday party. this makes me sad.

also, here are my biggest fears:

-losing my kids, to death, or kidnapping
-something bad happening to scott
-nuclear war
-being in a closed space and being unable to get out
-being attacked personally
-going to jail

it's weird. these are not things i worry about regularly or anything, just things i realize that would really really freak me out if they happened.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to see you on Friday!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

Weird you should post the fear thing. I was thinking/writing about this last night in my real journal (no offense to the online gods).

Biggest fears:

*right now, for some reason, being alone in my house overnight.
*being put in situations where I have no defenses/can't get myself out of.
*being alone for the rest of my life (thank you, High Fidelity)
*being fired
*spiders crawling on me in my sleep

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ew, the idea of ANY bugs crawling on me in my sleep is soooooo ICK.

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

"I suppose it's better if I drive, so that if I get out early I can zoom down to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver's license. (It has to be done by my birthday.)"

You want to "zoom" by the BMV? HAHAHAHAHA

You can zoom in, take a number and then zoom into a seat to wait for a while. Unless you go to the one on Cleveland, which is small and you just wait in line.

"What about you? What are you afraid of?"

Hmm. Never getting into my coveted career...which I think is being a therapist, and in theory I'm within a few years of it, but then again that's what I thought a few years ago.

Not doing a bunch of things I want to do before I die.

Twilight Zone Moment

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I will have you know that I pulled up to the downtown BMV at 3:45pm, put one quarter (15 minutes) into the meter (Third Street tows from 4-6pm), and had my new license in my hand as the clock ticked 4:01pm.

I rule.

[alikat774.livejournal.com]

My fears: Saying goodbye prematurely, suffocating, fire, ignorance, mortality, loss/lack of motivation, personal failure, loss of control...wow, when the question is posed, I feel at a loss for words. Next time, I'll do more self exploration before I answer, k?...lol.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You don't seem to be at a loss for words to me. :)

[alikat774.livejournal.com]

What are you saying??!?!?!?! LOL.
Yeah, okay, so maybe I am not often at a lack for words.
Guess I still had to put my thoughts out there...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your thoughts.

[pettypeel.livejournal.com]

Why would the cultural diversity workshop not seem exciting? It must be better for a social worker to know about various populations then for then to be trained in CPR.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Cultural diversity training /would/ be exciting if we ever learned valuable cultural diversity information. In my experience, cultural diversity trainings always end up being disappointing. Although when I was in my MSW program, I had a class where we did a lot of actual cultural competency stuff, and it was /really/ good.