Accept and just get by, like my father learned to do.

[judecorp]

I think I need to reevaluate some things in my life. Namely, I need to think about what kind of friend I am, and what kind of friend I want to be. I like to think of myself as a really attentive and adaptable person, but maybe that's not the case. Maybe I don't deal with change well, or maybe I'm just quick to find something personal to take out of an interaction. I'm not really sure. All I know is that some things need to change.

Well, that's not entirely true. Lots of things /are/ changing, and I suppose that's part of the issue. I find it hard to balance the changes in myself, the changes in others, and the changes in the combined situations. Balance is so important to me, and when I feel like I don't have a grip on that, I get anxious.

I guess part of the problem is that I got really attached to a group of people. I suppose some sort of readjustment or detachment is in order. I just don't know who makes that call - me? them? a combination of the two would be best, but how do you begin that sort of discourse? Why are attachments so darned complicated?

It's been a long time since I've lived in one place for so long. Maybe I don't know how to deal with these issues because I've always just moved away and started over again. I guess I just plain need to learn how to stay. And to adapt.

And every time we fight, a cold wind blows our way. But we can learn, like the trees, how to bend, how to sway...