Counseling, Round 1 *ding*
Jan. 27th, 2004 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpToday I went to my first appointment with the therapist. I was nervous about going because, well, we have the same degree... so I always wonder how I'm going to react to that (and, well, how she is going to react to that). I guess in some ways it gives me hope because she had some work horror stories too and now has a good job. In other ways, it just reminds me that I could be doing more, you know? Aah well.
On the plus side, she's nice, and she's queer, and she's smart, and she has a similar approach to therapy as I did when I was a therapist: start low with your diagnoses and work your way up to more serious things. She told me that I probably just have Seasonal Affective Disorder and that I should consider trying tanning. And then when I balked, she reminded me that not all people who go tanning are leathery old ladies. Good. Because I don't like leather, you know.
On the minus side, she does too much of that textbook "reflective listening" stuff that goes right up my butt, and she disclosed a little too much about herself for a first session - I mean, it was about /me/, not her. I tell her I don't like my job, and she asks where I work, and I tell her, and of course she knows what it is because she's a social worker for crying out loud, and then tells me /her/ horror story about when she interviewed there. HELLO, TMI! Because, well, one of my concerns was, "I don't like my job." How on earth was it productive for her to tell my why my workplace sucks? Poor choice, I think.
I also let her know that I had Baby Fever big time, and so she then pulls out pictures of her newborn baby and tells me all about how I should just get a baby. And I'm all like, "Umm, my partner wants to wait," and she says, "No, tell her to get a baby now." So I say, "Sure, I'll tell her you say so," knowing that she's kidding but also thinking it was a poor choice. I don't know if I made myself entirely clear throughout the hour... it takes me a while to really say what I mean because I have a hard time expressing myself. I suppose that will change with time. Or, at least, as time passes I will have had more time to get things out.
I just don't know how to explain to her that I can't really pinpoint what is bothering me, except that I worry that whatever /is/ bothering me is affecting my relationship, or could. And that's hard to explain when all I can say is how wonderful my relationship is and how much I love and value my partner, and how secure I feel and how I want things to move forward. And then I'm like, "Uhhh... I worry that my relationship is suffering." Sometimes I don't make sense. So I settled on, "I've been getting irritated really easily and am overly sensitive." We'll see what happens.
Damn, those newborn baby pictures did /not/ help, especially after I held and fed a 4-week-old baby today at work for an hour. What's worse is that every time I get /near/ a baby at work, everyone stops to tell me how "fitting" it looks. Today even my supervisor (who always seems mildly squicked - but not on purpose - about Jen and I being two women who want to be parents) said, "You guys need to get going on that baby thing."
No pressure, Magpie.
On the plus side, she's nice, and she's queer, and she's smart, and she has a similar approach to therapy as I did when I was a therapist: start low with your diagnoses and work your way up to more serious things. She told me that I probably just have Seasonal Affective Disorder and that I should consider trying tanning. And then when I balked, she reminded me that not all people who go tanning are leathery old ladies. Good. Because I don't like leather, you know.
On the minus side, she does too much of that textbook "reflective listening" stuff that goes right up my butt, and she disclosed a little too much about herself for a first session - I mean, it was about /me/, not her. I tell her I don't like my job, and she asks where I work, and I tell her, and of course she knows what it is because she's a social worker for crying out loud, and then tells me /her/ horror story about when she interviewed there. HELLO, TMI! Because, well, one of my concerns was, "I don't like my job." How on earth was it productive for her to tell my why my workplace sucks? Poor choice, I think.
I also let her know that I had Baby Fever big time, and so she then pulls out pictures of her newborn baby and tells me all about how I should just get a baby. And I'm all like, "Umm, my partner wants to wait," and she says, "No, tell her to get a baby now." So I say, "Sure, I'll tell her you say so," knowing that she's kidding but also thinking it was a poor choice. I don't know if I made myself entirely clear throughout the hour... it takes me a while to really say what I mean because I have a hard time expressing myself. I suppose that will change with time. Or, at least, as time passes I will have had more time to get things out.
I just don't know how to explain to her that I can't really pinpoint what is bothering me, except that I worry that whatever /is/ bothering me is affecting my relationship, or could. And that's hard to explain when all I can say is how wonderful my relationship is and how much I love and value my partner, and how secure I feel and how I want things to move forward. And then I'm like, "Uhhh... I worry that my relationship is suffering." Sometimes I don't make sense. So I settled on, "I've been getting irritated really easily and am overly sensitive." We'll see what happens.
Damn, those newborn baby pictures did /not/ help, especially after I held and fed a 4-week-old baby today at work for an hour. What's worse is that every time I get /near/ a baby at work, everyone stops to tell me how "fitting" it looks. Today even my supervisor (who always seems mildly squicked - but not on purpose - about Jen and I being two women who want to be parents) said, "You guys need to get going on that baby thing."
No pressure, Magpie.
