Counseling, round 2

[judecorp]

I just came back from my second counseling session. We spent at least half of the time talking about national and state politics. Again I ask, "Should I be paying for this?"

[Poll #243314]

p.s. Our new checks came in the mail today. You know the ones. The ones with both of our names on them. (!!)

Comments

[happy2beso.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't be paying for it. Your insurance should cover it. Or something like that.

OR she should be paying you for the pleasure of your company. ;)

[maybelater.livejournal.com]

I have limited experience with counseling/therapy, but I would say maybe give her one more session to measure up to your standards. After that, you'll either have to address the problem with her or find someone else who suits your needs.

I could be your counselor.....

[goddamnelf.livejournal.com]

I ask questions all the time, I am a good listener, I am logical, and creative. I will do it for free!!! So, tell me vhat iz gaing on in side yaw hed?

ps, my guess is that she sees you as an equal, and does not want to treat you like a typical patient/customer. Perhaps it is like in Good Will Hunting, when Robin Williams character,and Matt Damon's character have a face off in there sessions. Maybe she is waiting for you to decide to tell her how to help you. Maybe she does not want to insult you by trying one of the techniques people in the "know" know.

[laserkitty.livejournal.com]

I went to couseling for about a year. I had a hard time with it for a couple of reasons. Similar to your thoughts...I have a psych degree and initially this is what I wanted to do with my life, so I felt really weird about having to go to counseling..even though I know that alot of counselors go to counseling. My therapist was a "listener". She didn't contribute any personal dialogue to my sessions and she asked very few leading questions. Mostly she just sat there and left me feeling really stupid.

[vintagetoaster.livejournal.com]

How did you choose this counselor? Maybe you should discuss your counseling worries with her.

[jennbits.livejournal.com]

maybe she's trying to develop a rapport? i agree with what the other poster said.. if you feel like you're comfortable with her and ready to delve into the serious stuff, let her know that

[kaasirpent]

My thought is this: If she is a counselor and you are uncomfortable with the way the sessions are going, talk about it with her. Make that one of the issues you discuss.

I've never had counseling, so I'm the proverbial unmarried marriage counselor, here, but to me it seems like if you're uncomfortable, either confront it head-on or stop paying her. :)

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

In my experience in both chairs, I've found that you can't really judge the relationship after two sessions--unless it's either really good, or really bad.

So if you were the clinician, and you were doing the stuff that she is doing: why would YOU be doing it?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So if you were the clinician, and you were doing the stuff that she is doing: why would YOU be doing it?

This is a good question, and my honest answer is that I wouldn't. I wouldn't do the things she's doing, and I suppose that could be partially why it bugs me. Because of course I think I'm the best clinician ever. Or something.

I could see 10-15 minutes of random chit-chat about something like politics or television, you know? But not 40+ out of a 50 minute hour. I mean, she spent 10 minutes talking about what we were clinically talking about (which is the whole 'should I try tanning for SAD?' thing), and the rest of the time talking about Taft, Bush, and Janet Jackson's boob.

Somehow I don't know that talking about how bad the government is right now is helping my irritability.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I had actually planned to go in today talking about something that had bothered me about her from last week, but I decided to give her a chance since it had only been one hour.

But I think I am going to talk about it with my officemate at work (in past lives we were both therapists, and we're now caseworkers) and see if she thinks it's weird.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

The problem is I'm not /sure/ what the "hard stuff" is... that's why I'm going there in the first place! But we never get past anything surface at all!

I mean, today, the most serious thing was when she asked me about why I said I was raised by my grandparents, and I told her it was because my mom left my dad when I was three, and she harped right on it. I was like, "Geeze, lady, that is /so/ not an issue! It's just reality."

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

She was in my insurance network (which isn't very big) and the practice she works at was recommended to me.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm okay with going to counseling. Yeah, I think it's a little weird on the other side of the couch or whatever, but I don't have a problem with it. I /do/ have a problem with just chatting, though.

I mean, my goodness, I chat with social workers EVERY DAY for 8 hours! I don't need to do it again after work.

Re: I could be your counselor.....

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You should come here and we can take a long walk and just talk about stuff. You know, I felt so clearheaded at Philmont because we would all talk so personally... you, me, Anne, B, Ben, etc. It was so nice to just delve into each other voraciously the way we did. I miss it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I was thinking the same thing, except maybe even leading into it next time. Just sort of saying, "Okay, I have some concerns and I want to address them before this has gone on too long..."

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, my insurance won't pay 100%.

And you're right, she should be paying ME!

Re:

[prettyvacantone.livejournal.com]

When I had to address this issue, I said something like "I was just wondering what kind of things we are working on in here, because I'm not sure my past few visits have been helpful." That gave me a chance to tell her the things I wanted to focus on and wanted her help with, instead of just meandering around topics.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

When you hit a rut, does she tell you to try the other parent?

Sorry... couldn't help myself....

*slinks away again*

And yay on the checks!

Re:

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I think if the next session goes in this direction, try to steer it back.
Therapists are human (i.e. partially stupid) too ;-)

If you spend much more time past that on things unrelated to making Jude more happy, then change.

Re: I could be your counselor.....

[goddamnelf.livejournal.com]

It may be down the road, but right now I am looking at either sometime in March or April for a possible road trip up to see you. I do not really get vacation on this job, so it might be april when this project is over. ( I would come up on my days off, but it would take me to long to get there, and back that we would not have any time to hang out.) BUt all it well, soon my sweet, we shall while away the hours, me in my smoking jacket, and you in my smoking jacket too!!

Re:

[hopemcg.livejournal.com]

I keep having lots of maybes in my head...

maybe she thinks you are lonely and just coming in for someone to talk about,

maybe she's trying to assess your personality / extent of contact with the "real" world my seeing what your opinions and knowledge of pop culture are. (The quotes were for you kieron),

but probably you are just going to have to level with her. Either she will explain or she will ask you if you have been keeping up with the last season of friends.

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

yeah that's when I stopped going to therapy - when we spent most of a session discussing my new car. I was in a sorority once, I no longer need to pay for friends!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Amen to that! My sentiments EXACTLY.

Re: I could be your counselor.....

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

As long as it's not the weekend of April 25th, I will make it work for you. (That weekend, we'll be in Washington DC for a pro-choice march.)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Good advice. I will definitely do so.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

When I talk about therapy, I know what people think: that it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink.

:)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that's good. You are such a smarty!!

[kjtoo.livejournal.com]

Of course you should be paying for it!

I didn't answer the poll because the random chit-chat has a purpose that you failed to list:

She's trying to establish which of the following classifications you fall into:

1. Slightly off
2. Mildly disturbed
3. Somewhat crazy
4. Stark raving bonkers
5. Total nutjob
6. Complete headcase
7. Fucking crazy
8. Apeshit
9. Ooobie doobie dabba wakka wakka kaboom! Fzort! Pblblblbb!

This, naturally, is a very scientific process. It takes time to make such a determination. The differences between a total nutjob and a complete headcase are subtle and delicate. Often, the only way to truly tell is by odor. Next session, open with this: "I don't smell like canned peaches. At all. You can smell me if you like, but I think it would help me build a rapport with you if you'd just trust me on this."

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

its sad tho, I know there are things I could stand to work out in therapy, but that soured me on the idea.

Re: I could be your counselor.....

[goddamnelf.livejournal.com]

cool beans

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

This is my second attempt. I'm getting kind of soured, too.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So, which one do you think I am? Be honest here...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to bring it up. Hooray, because of course I just looooooove conflict.

Ha ha ha about the quotes! And on that note, say hi to "Megan" for me!

Re:

[kjtoo.livejournal.com]

Honestly, you're not any one of those things. Most of us aren't. On our best days, we twitch back and forth between "slightly off" and "mildly disturbed." On our worst days, the best we can hope for is coming just shy of "Ooobie doobie dabba wakka wakka kaboom! Fzort! Pblblblbb!"

It's not such a bad thing to be somewhat crazy, either. That's what makes you interesting.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I would hereby like to be known as "Prince Ooobie doobie dabba wakka wakka kaboom!"

Re:

[kjtoo.livejournal.com]

Done. We'll call you Prince Ooobie Kaboom for short, but only in an informal setting.

Hey, I'm a prince! I'm a prince!
--Lone Star

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

YES!