judecorp | Next time I'll stick to warm milk.

I woke up from a number of strange dreams all night, and some random people made appearances, but I think the underlying theme was guilt. Most of the dreaming was about me being not appreciative enough, not caring enough, not unselfish enough... you get the idea. So of course my ex had a cameo, but his part didn't really seem to have any plot or emotion behind it, so I guess I feel okay about him.

But in one random dream, I was laying in bed with Pete from Cafe Corner (I have no idea) and it was obvious in the dream that we were in some sort of relationship. So we're laying in bed and I roll onto my side and look at him, and I'm all like, "Pete... I have to tell you something. I love you." And I keep babbling and it's all about how I tell people I love them all the time, but this is the first time I've told /him/ even though we're obviously in some sort of relationship. And he's all warm and happy, but the next bit of stuff that comes out of my mouth is something about Jen and how as much as I love Pete, my heart belongs to Jen and we'll have to find some way to work it out. Weird.

And later, I have this other dream where my father buys me airfare to New York City. And I'm really grateful for about one minute until I realize that he's set me up for a two-week stay, and not only is that horribly inconvenient because I have a lot of other obligations and can't be there for two weeks, but I would never in a million years be able to afford a hotel for two weeks. And he gets mad and silent and I sit there (in my dream) berating myself for not being appreciative enough of his gesture, but still mad at the idea that I will have to make an eight-hour round trip commute for a week because I have this two-week stay. Or something.

So yeah. Not only did I get horrible sleep from frequent waking, but I woke up feeling really crummy about myself. Fantastic. I will never eat caramel chocolate chip bars before bed again!