Godfather's in the hoooooouse!
Mar. 16th, 2004 09:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpWriting cover letters seems so desperate to me. It's corporate-sponsored whoring, the written act of prostrating oneself on the precipice of employment. It's part sorcery, combining words and concepts to create that magical spell of seduction. It's almost a betrayal of honesty, trying to expose and enhance strengths while minimizing flaws at best, or denying them altogether at worst. In my current line of work, we attribute names to this minimization: resistance, denial, uncooperation. The client who is unable to accept responsibility for his/her flaws is considered a risk to reoffend, slip up, do harm. Yet night after night, I've been cleverly crafting minimizations, refusing to own up to the fact that, let's face it, I am probably /not/ the best match for this posting.
I have a number of pre-fab paragraphs in circulation that I cut and paste with reckless abandon, choosing combinations depending on the type of job opening and the nature of the organization. There are paragraphs about programming, about direct service, about child welfare, about being a clinician, about Teh Gay. They sit in a folder entitled "Job Search" that could just as easily be renamed "Brothel" given that I pimp these text mamacitas out nightly.
Tonight I had to craft a new paragraph, some exaggerated bunk about my delight at the opportunity to combine both of my Master's degrees (Environmental Education and Social Work) for a Field Organizer/Environmental Lobbyist position. The truth of the matter is that there is no good reason to assume that I'm anywhere near the top percentiles of qualified applicants - I have been working at Children's Services, for crying out loud! But with cunning and determination, I sent another little tramp of text out into the night, recollecting past job experience with MASSPIRG and the Massachusetts Department of Environmental Management.
You know, as much as I love social work, especially direct service, I think I could really get into environmental lobbying and organizing campaigns. It would be nice to go back to Schmoozing for Dollars, and could provide experience and political action skills that I could someday transfer to Big Gay Work once again. My wistful mind is currently imagining days without crisis management, child protection, or listening to other people's problems. I imagine being able to take a week's vacation without needing to work excessive overtime the weeks before and after in the name of productivity or direct contact hours, or without worrying about exactly what has blown up since I've been off sipping sangria on a distant shore. I imagine being treated with respect, being creative, designing materials, crafting words to effect change, returning to the prima facie political issue of my idealistic adolescence.
And then I realize two things: 1. that there is no way in hell that this job opening is even remotely as romantic as I am making it right now as the daydreams marinate in my desperate mind like the tilapia in the pan downstairs, and 2. that this organization is going to hire someone who is already a field organizer or an environmental lobbyist somewhere else rather than an energetic and competent (but seriously underqualified) child protection caseworker.
But stranger things have happened, I guess, and I hope that my smooth pimpage and selection of fast ladies can deliver the cheddar before it's time to hit the road.
I have a number of pre-fab paragraphs in circulation that I cut and paste with reckless abandon, choosing combinations depending on the type of job opening and the nature of the organization. There are paragraphs about programming, about direct service, about child welfare, about being a clinician, about Teh Gay. They sit in a folder entitled "Job Search" that could just as easily be renamed "Brothel" given that I pimp these text mamacitas out nightly.
Tonight I had to craft a new paragraph, some exaggerated bunk about my delight at the opportunity to combine both of my Master's degrees (Environmental Education and Social Work) for a Field Organizer/Environmental Lobbyist position. The truth of the matter is that there is no good reason to assume that I'm anywhere near the top percentiles of qualified applicants - I have been working at Children's Services, for crying out loud! But with cunning and determination, I sent another little tramp of text out into the night, recollecting past job experience with MASSPIRG and the Massachusetts Department of Environmental Management.
You know, as much as I love social work, especially direct service, I think I could really get into environmental lobbying and organizing campaigns. It would be nice to go back to Schmoozing for Dollars, and could provide experience and political action skills that I could someday transfer to Big Gay Work once again. My wistful mind is currently imagining days without crisis management, child protection, or listening to other people's problems. I imagine being able to take a week's vacation without needing to work excessive overtime the weeks before and after in the name of productivity or direct contact hours, or without worrying about exactly what has blown up since I've been off sipping sangria on a distant shore. I imagine being treated with respect, being creative, designing materials, crafting words to effect change, returning to the prima facie political issue of my idealistic adolescence.
And then I realize two things: 1. that there is no way in hell that this job opening is even remotely as romantic as I am making it right now as the daydreams marinate in my desperate mind like the tilapia in the pan downstairs, and 2. that this organization is going to hire someone who is already a field organizer or an environmental lobbyist somewhere else rather than an energetic and competent (but seriously underqualified) child protection caseworker.
But stranger things have happened, I guess, and I hope that my smooth pimpage and selection of fast ladies can deliver the cheddar before it's time to hit the road.
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
The truth of the matter is that I don't have the determination and the discipline to write a book, nor do I believe that anyone who doesn't already love me would want to read it.
However, maybe someday I'll be famous for /something/!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 12:06 pm (UTC)Nice. I like reading your stuff.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 12:08 pm (UTC)But still! Dude! This is freakin' weird!
I think I need more coffee.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
But don't sell yourself short or anything... most of the crap I write is just a bunch of poop about my job or whether or not I farted that day. Every so often I get some time to actually sit down and sling some words together, and I definitely like those posts better than others. I just wish I had more time and energy.
Maybe someday we can (*dun dun DUNNNN!*) write a double-column! A he-said she-said!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 01:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject