I hate money

[judecorp]

Tomorrow, my beloved whirledpeas is having a birthday dinner at her favorite restaurant, Japanese Steakhouse. Of course my Jennifer and I were invited, and we want nothing more than to be able to whoop it up with a bunch of our friends. /And/ get the fun musical instruments when the little old man comes out to sing the birthday song.

But Japanese Steakhouse is really expensive, like "twice as much as a usual dinner out for us" expensive. And we're stressing so much about money already, trying to scramble for the move. We've got about $3000 saved. We need at least $2000 more. In a short time. Yeah.

So we were stuck in a terrible Catch-22. We could both go, and both eat, and not be able to do anything else this weekend that costs any money because it would blow our weekend budget out of the water. We could both go, and I could not get a dinner - but I'm not sure the restaurant would allow that, and Jen said she would feel weird about it. We could send Jen only, so it would only cost half as much (and besides, she likes steak) - but she says she would feel guilty because I wasn't there, and that she would feel awkward because everyone else is coupled up. We could both not go, but then we would feel like bad friends who skipped out on our good friend's birthday.

Whichever option makes me feel like a bad banana with a greasy black heel. I had to call whirledpeas to tell her that Jen would be going, and she sounded disappointed and I felt like a big jerk. So now I'm a big jerkitty jerk jerk and am sitting at work feeling heavily jerkified.

I really hate money.

Comments

[ducks-with-lips.livejournal.com]

Is there any possibility of you both going and share a meal? I am not familiar with the restaurant (and some refuse to do it). Is it one of those places where everyone has to pay, no matter what they eat?

You shouldn't feel like a horrible friend. At times, money's tight. This is one of those times for you.

Are they having cake somewhere afterwards? Is there any party-ish plans outside of the steakhouse? You can ask if they want to go out for ice cream later, or join in on any other (less expensive) plans. Or, plan a birthday movie night (or something of the like) for this weekend.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think it /is/ one of those places where everyone has to pay. I could be wrong (and I will call them tomorrow and ask), but I would bet money (if I had it) on that. It's one of those "everyone sits around a big grill thing and they cook the food in front of you" types of places that comes with several courses of food, so I don't know how they would feel about splitting.

I'm sure my Birthday Friend will be cool with doing something at an alternate time, because she's the best... but I doubt I can get the whole gang together for an additional alternate plan, and I know that Jen especially is really bummed about missing the gang. I just feel really bad. :(

[sunshyne72.livejournal.com]

Not that you need my opinion.. .I think you SHOULD go, have a good time and spend the weekend at the park or at home with your honey and snuggling.. that way both options are cheap! (not meaning Jen's cheap, but you know... ) :) Sorry that wasn't worded very well. hehehehe

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA - are you calling Jen cheap??!?! Because clearly EVERYONE knows that /I/ am the cheap on! ;)

We don't have any other plans that involve money. We don't have any other plans at all. Except groceries.

[nwmann.livejournal.com]

dude... both of you eat a little bit of food before you show up... only one of you order food and split it. the restaurant will be fine most likely if you don't order anything... if you are worried about it though call ahead to make sure... you shouldn't miss out on the bday fun just cause you've gotta watch your budget.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Have you ever gone to Japanese Steakhouse and split a meal with someone? I'm not sure they allow it. I will have to call them and ask. (Except that Jen goes there and eats steak and, well, I don't eat steak.)

[calledmara.livejournal.com]

I don't know the restaurant, but maybe you could go and just get a salad? I figure you'd be going more cause it's your friend's birthday over the food. Or both go and just not do anything this weekend that costs money. Do you have plans already where you need money? Otherwise maybe we could do cheap dvd watching/picnic having/bike riding sometime this week. As you and Jen's weekend plans should clearly involve me. :)

(I realize I'm probably just saying stuff you've thought about)

And yes, money is evil. I agree completely.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

We chatted about this already - they don't really have "just a salad." It's not that kind of place. It's the whole atmosphere of the thing.

As for the rest of the weekend, we didn't have anything financial planned at all... but we got sucked into too-expensive plans yesterday that kind of messed things up. We do need to go to the store this weekend to get things like milk and butter and bread - that's the major financial thing.

Otherwise, I imagine going outside will be a big part of my plans. It's supposed to be gorgeous out!

[calledmara.livejournal.com]

I will bike to the store to get butter, eggs n milk for you!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

HA! And gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahlic.

[laserkitty.livejournal.com]

You're not a jerk. See if they'll let you split a meal. Eric & I do that lots. I've never been before, so I don't know if you can do that or not...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's sort of that kind of place where they cook the food in front of you and there are many courses. I don't know if they let you split - the scenario kind of reminds me of The Melting Pot, where you pay more for the experience than the actual food.

I can call them and ask, though.

[sudrin.livejournal.com]

Sushi is the answer

[schlemaggle.livejournal.com]

sushi is always the answer.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yum.

[00solstice.livejournal.com]

double yum

(I hope you found a solution!)

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

Of course she's disappointed, if only one of you will be coming. But that doesn't make you a jerk -- especially when one alternative is neither of you going. Sometimes people plan stuff without really considering the financial situation of others, and while I know you would want to be able to go, I'm sure your friends understand when you have to turn down somethings in order to realize your long-term plans.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know she doesn't think I'm a jerk, but I feel like one anyway. Especially since now Jen isn't going either, so I feel like a double jerk.

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

shhhh you cant control the behaviour of others.. take them out for a special b-day ice cream or somethin another time! :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I suppose I could do that. Smarty!

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

no help, but:

the little old man comes out to sing the birthday song

that guy is still ALIVE!? he sang to me for my 21st birthday, which was almost 9 years ago. he was ancient then!

haha - i was gonna say "ancient chinese secret", but...yeah. ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

YES! HE is still alive and he is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Seriously. And yes, he is the "ancient chinese secret!" (Except Japanese.)

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

Wasn't this an episode of Friends?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Please tell me my life is not resembling horribly trite sitcoms.

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

I read an etiquette column a while back in which it was pointed out that only recently has it been common to hold birthday parties in expensive restaurants, and expect the guests to pay their own way. It was pretty critical of the custom.

The columnist suggested that if you have a lot of money and you are giving someone a b-day party, you should treat whomever you invite to the dinner. Or if you have a lot but not quite that much, you should choose a more modest restaurant. OR, if you are of modest means, don't inflict bills on your friends, but simply host the party at home.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't blame my friends for having a birthday dinner at Peas's favorite restaurant. I mean, it's her favorite restaurant. I mean, sure, I'd love it if her favorite restaurant was, say, the $1 menu at Wendy's, but it's not. Besides, I don't even like Wendy's.

She actually asked me if I wanted her to go somewhere else. I was like, "Dude, it's YOUR birthday dinner."

[volumeat11.livejournal.com]

no jerk. just jude. and that's good.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Eh. I can be a jerk sometimes. No, really. I promise. =P