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Apr. 29th, 2004 12:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorpI can't concentrate on anything. I can't think. I start a form writing about one kid and end up finishing the form writing about some other family. And I know it's just because I'm upset and distracted, but screwing up like that and having to throw the form away and start over just makes me more upset.
I got terrible sleep. I couldn't fall asleep right away because I was upset, and at about 1:30am or so I guess I drifted off. Somewhere after 3am, Jen must have been dreaming, because she rolled over, shook me pretty hard saying, "Wake up!" and when I sat up in shock with my heart in my chest, she pointed to the ceiling and mumbled a bunch of nonsense like, "See it? See the black?" She promptly rolled over and started snoring, and I was so keyed up about being jerked awake that I didn't fall back asleep until 5am or so.
I have a headache like you would not believe. And heartburn, but that's probably because I haven't eaten anything. But I just don't feel like eating. I'm in a bad place.
I'll admit it to the world, shout it from the rafters: my divorce was my fault. I'm emotionally distant. With my parents. With my exes. It's my fault. I try really hard not to be that way, but it's tough, and it's slow-going, and it will happen in small increments. Being punished for it doesn't help.
I got terrible sleep. I couldn't fall asleep right away because I was upset, and at about 1:30am or so I guess I drifted off. Somewhere after 3am, Jen must have been dreaming, because she rolled over, shook me pretty hard saying, "Wake up!" and when I sat up in shock with my heart in my chest, she pointed to the ceiling and mumbled a bunch of nonsense like, "See it? See the black?" She promptly rolled over and started snoring, and I was so keyed up about being jerked awake that I didn't fall back asleep until 5am or so.
I have a headache like you would not believe. And heartburn, but that's probably because I haven't eaten anything. But I just don't feel like eating. I'm in a bad place.
I'll admit it to the world, shout it from the rafters: my divorce was my fault. I'm emotionally distant. With my parents. With my exes. It's my fault. I try really hard not to be that way, but it's tough, and it's slow-going, and it will happen in small increments. Being punished for it doesn't help.
