When I was in high school, around 10th-11th grade, my friend Jessica and I were pre-goth goths. When I say this, I mean that if goth fashion had been introduced to Mount St. Charles Academy back in the early 1990s, we probably would have been wearing it. Instead, we were goth-music-lovers in prep school duds. Esprit and Robert Smith? Eurotrash and Guess Jeans? Not quite that bad, but you get the idea.
She and I would take turns writing random quotes of much ennui on the blackboard when the teacher was out of the room. 'I used to see the rose but now I only feel the thorns.' 'I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing.' 'There is a cloud above me and it's starting to rain.' We also met at her locker each morning for our daily ritual of inking dashed lines across our wrists highlighted with the words 'cut here.'
We became obsessed with death, and later voodoo. We made voodoo dolls of two of our least favorite teachers: Mrs. Beaudry the geometry teacher, and Ms. Burns, the classic PE lesbian. I would sit in physics class and poke the Mrs. Beaudry doll while Jessica would sit in geometry writing down every instance of Mrs. B's nose-scratching or twitching. We brought the Ms. Burns doll to gym class and threw it around the weight room until it was confiscated. Voodoo Ms. Burns stuck out of the track pant pocket of the original, though the doll's reality was never discovered.
Too smart for our own good, we then let our obsessions wander to mental illness, specifically Dissociative Identity Disorder. While I missed a week of school for a Floridian vacation with my grandparents, Jessica worked schoolside convincing Pathological Liar Sarah that I was actually in a psychiatric hospital. Danielle's mother, a therapist, gave us as much information as our spongey minds could handle, and my part-time job at the pharmacy made up the rest. We recruited Danielle into stealing some of her mother's testing forms to make things more authentic upon my return. Sarah never looked at me the same way again.
This is the time to remember, 'cause it will not last forever. These are the days to hold onto, but we won't although we want to. This is the time, but time is gonna change.
~//~
I want to write more, but I am lacking in ideas these days. Tell me what you want me to write about, and I will. All for you. It can be as silly or serious, invasive or banal as you'd like. Go on, do it. I double dog dare you.
[Poll #314612]
She and I would take turns writing random quotes of much ennui on the blackboard when the teacher was out of the room. 'I used to see the rose but now I only feel the thorns.' 'I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing.' 'There is a cloud above me and it's starting to rain.' We also met at her locker each morning for our daily ritual of inking dashed lines across our wrists highlighted with the words 'cut here.'
We became obsessed with death, and later voodoo. We made voodoo dolls of two of our least favorite teachers: Mrs. Beaudry the geometry teacher, and Ms. Burns, the classic PE lesbian. I would sit in physics class and poke the Mrs. Beaudry doll while Jessica would sit in geometry writing down every instance of Mrs. B's nose-scratching or twitching. We brought the Ms. Burns doll to gym class and threw it around the weight room until it was confiscated. Voodoo Ms. Burns stuck out of the track pant pocket of the original, though the doll's reality was never discovered.
Too smart for our own good, we then let our obsessions wander to mental illness, specifically Dissociative Identity Disorder. While I missed a week of school for a Floridian vacation with my grandparents, Jessica worked schoolside convincing Pathological Liar Sarah that I was actually in a psychiatric hospital. Danielle's mother, a therapist, gave us as much information as our spongey minds could handle, and my part-time job at the pharmacy made up the rest. We recruited Danielle into stealing some of her mother's testing forms to make things more authentic upon my return. Sarah never looked at me the same way again.
This is the time to remember, 'cause it will not last forever. These are the days to hold onto, but we won't although we want to. This is the time, but time is gonna change.
~//~
I want to write more, but I am lacking in ideas these days. Tell me what you want me to write about, and I will. All for you. It can be as silly or serious, invasive or banal as you'd like. Go on, do it. I double dog dare you.
[Poll #314612]
I am a member of 4 cliques of size 12
smurfchick,
kieron,
jost,
kaasirpent,
scirocco,
siercia,
prunesnprisms,
smurfbrother,
lorac,
pantsie,
oxlahun,
jadefu
smurfchick,
kieron,
jost,
kaasirpent,
scirocco,
siercia,
prunesnprisms,
smurfbrother,
rachelmichellek,
pantsie,
oxlahun,
jadefu
smurfchick,
kungfoogirl,
jost,
kaasirpent,
scirocco,
siercia,
prunesnprisms,
khaosworks,
bigmeanie,
biophile6,
binkiegirl,
tbons
smurfchick,
kungfoogirl,
jost,
kaasirpent,
scirocco,
siercia,
prunesnprisms,
bigmeanie,
biophile6,
binkiegirl,
tbons,
dietbubba
writing on the blackboard
Date: 2004-06-30 02:08 am (UTC)Re: writing on the blackboard
no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-16 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 05:31 am (UTC)What kind of weird Hell did you grow up in that didn't have goth style? We even had it in the late 80s in the übersuburb. Except we called it "progressive", for some unknown reason. And the primary fashion element was a Bauhaus t-shirt. You know, back when alternative music was different from mainstream. [Thanks, Messrs. Cobain and Stipe, for fucking that up. Sellouts.]
I was not one of them. I was a cynical bastard even as a kid; it all reeked of the SNL "Azrael Abyss" goth-wannabe skits. No offense to you and Jessica, of course; if there's a way to be shallow about something, Orange Park can find it. Also, I guess technically the skits smell like OP; one of the writers was a classmate of mine until he moved to a different übersuburb.
The real goth to me was my friend Logan, who made sport of intellectually besting the teachers (not that difficult, but he was very good at it), knew every Pink Floyd lyric, and was legitimately seriously depressed. So much that he spent most of the 2nd half of our senior year in psychiatric care, in and out of the hospital, and didn't actually graduate because of it. But he dressed normal. And he's reasonably well-adjusted these days. I should email him; haven't heard from him since his 2nd daughter was born almost a year ago.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-19 11:24 pm (UTC)And don't you dis my main man Stipe, even if he is a super sell-out. I had TEH BIG LOOOOVE for him through junior high and high school, especially during the "Green" era.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-20 12:22 am (UTC)That was before you and he both realized (and/or admitted) y'all were gay. :)
Green was pre-sellout. Even though it was their first album on a WB label, it still felt like their IRS stuff. Automatic for the People is when it started, trying to capitalize too quickly on the success of Out of Time's "Losing My Religion", but the total sellout didn't really get going full swing until New Adventures in Hi-Fi. Almost everything since then has been total crap.
For the record (npi), I've probably spent more on R.E.M. than every band except TMBG and Billy Joel. I can't say I didn't help Stipe sell out; I simply recognized that he did. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-20 03:20 am (UTC)For the record, Stipe may be gay but I most certainly am not. =P I just happen to be in a committed relationship with a girl.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 10:28 am (UTC)In other news, I double-dog dare you to write about what you would do if you won the MegaMillions game. Jackpot is up to $220,000,000. Here's some quick, lotto math to help:
-that'd be a lump sum of about $130,000,000.
-at a conservative interest rate, you'd make about $6500 A DAY.
There. Now write. Me? I'm going to study...study and breakfast...
no subject
Date: 2004-07-05 04:02 pm (UTC)After taxes, the very first thing I would do is pay off all of Jen's student loans and the other debt, like her car and her credit cards. I would then pay off whatever debt members of my family and her family have accumulated.
I'd probably want to buy a house somewhere, nothing terribly fancy but big enough for a family. And maybe a more reliable car.
But really, I'm not much for things, so most of it would probably go to charity and savings. I'm boring like that.