Literary Character Identification
Jul. 1st, 2004 09:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judecorp(Wow, I wasn't expecting the smoking one to be so popular. Go friends list!) ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cathboblet suggested that I write about the imaginary character (novels, poetry, film, tv etc) you most identify with, and which others would least suspect. I don't know if others will least suspect it or not, so I do hope that my beloved Cath will forgive me if, in fact, it's suspected and I blew the second part. Please give me partial credit, Ms. Cath, because I think you're adorable and wonderful and all of that, and no, I'm not sucking up to the teachermuch.
I've often related very strongly to Dean Moriarty in On the Road (Jack Kerouac). I know I've given the book to many a significant person in my life, and no one else seems to like it as much as I do, which is perfectly fine. But part of my giving the book to those who have held the strongest places in my heart is to give them a little peek into my impression of my personage, a little guidebook. Also, an apology. In advance.
To say that Dean Moriarty is the "bad guy" in the story is largely accurate, at least in the loosest emotional definitions of bad. To say that Dean Moriarty is a bit of a hero in the story is also largely true. And that, I suppose, is how I identify strongly - the faulted angel. Do I have good intentions? Of course. Do I often muck things up along the way when my personal faults impede said intentions? More times than I care to admit. Does that stop me from trying and screwing up again? Unfortunately not.
Dean had a lust for life, an intense aura, a likable personality, tremendous energy, and a vicious brain. He fell in love fast, loved hard, and burned out quickly. He was easily distractible. He sired bastard children and broke hearts with unintentional lapses of attention. He ruined people as quickly as they were drawn to him. Those "who knew better" hated him on sight, those with broken hearts cursed his name, but all were potentially under his spell. Underneath it all, I think he was a scared kid with too much love inside that he didn't know how to use properly. Emotional supernova.
Do I think I'm that destructive? Of course not. But I see my patterns of relating, my erratic running around, flitting to social events and cavorting with masses on the internet as my own personal trip on the highways of life. I want to be liked, I have a vivacious personality, and people are drawn to me. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I love it, because of course I do. Yet I wear myself too thin, form too many friendships and often worry about letting people down, not doing enough, not being enough. I love hard, form tight relationships, and get overwhelmed. I have a strong pull to run, even when things are good, /especially/ when things are good.
Jen often tells me that I have a negative view of myself in relationships, and she's correct. She says she worries that someday I will leave her not because I am unhappy, but because I think I'm bad for her. She's correct again - if I were to run away, my own emotions would likely not be the reason. Like Dean, I'm addicted to that rush of connection and intense emotion, and I've been trying to learn the appreciation of the slow burn and the smoldering embers. I think I'm more successful than he was, but that's only because I've learned the consequences through his example in the 30+ times I've read the story of those he touched.
It's really just a good thing I've never met anyone quite like me, because I would hate to think of the destruction we would cultivate, the havoc we would cause, in each other.
You are an SRCL--Sober Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you an Ayn Rand ideal. Taggart? Roark? Galt? You are all of these. You were born to lead. You may not be particularly exciting, but you have a strange charisma--born of intellect and personal drive--that people begin to notice when they have been around you a while. You don't like to compromise, but you recognize when you have to.
You care absolutely nothing what other people think, and this somehow attracts people to you. Treat them well, use them wisely, and ascend to your rightful rank.
Take it yourself.
cathboblet suggested that I write about the imaginary character (novels, poetry, film, tv etc) you most identify with, and which others would least suspect. I don't know if others will least suspect it or not, so I do hope that my beloved Cath will forgive me if, in fact, it's suspected and I blew the second part. Please give me partial credit, Ms. Cath, because I think you're adorable and wonderful and all of that, and no, I'm not sucking up to the teacherI've often related very strongly to Dean Moriarty in On the Road (Jack Kerouac). I know I've given the book to many a significant person in my life, and no one else seems to like it as much as I do, which is perfectly fine. But part of my giving the book to those who have held the strongest places in my heart is to give them a little peek into my impression of my personage, a little guidebook. Also, an apology. In advance.
To say that Dean Moriarty is the "bad guy" in the story is largely accurate, at least in the loosest emotional definitions of bad. To say that Dean Moriarty is a bit of a hero in the story is also largely true. And that, I suppose, is how I identify strongly - the faulted angel. Do I have good intentions? Of course. Do I often muck things up along the way when my personal faults impede said intentions? More times than I care to admit. Does that stop me from trying and screwing up again? Unfortunately not.
Dean had a lust for life, an intense aura, a likable personality, tremendous energy, and a vicious brain. He fell in love fast, loved hard, and burned out quickly. He was easily distractible. He sired bastard children and broke hearts with unintentional lapses of attention. He ruined people as quickly as they were drawn to him. Those "who knew better" hated him on sight, those with broken hearts cursed his name, but all were potentially under his spell. Underneath it all, I think he was a scared kid with too much love inside that he didn't know how to use properly. Emotional supernova.
Do I think I'm that destructive? Of course not. But I see my patterns of relating, my erratic running around, flitting to social events and cavorting with masses on the internet as my own personal trip on the highways of life. I want to be liked, I have a vivacious personality, and people are drawn to me. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I love it, because of course I do. Yet I wear myself too thin, form too many friendships and often worry about letting people down, not doing enough, not being enough. I love hard, form tight relationships, and get overwhelmed. I have a strong pull to run, even when things are good, /especially/ when things are good.
Jen often tells me that I have a negative view of myself in relationships, and she's correct. She says she worries that someday I will leave her not because I am unhappy, but because I think I'm bad for her. She's correct again - if I were to run away, my own emotions would likely not be the reason. Like Dean, I'm addicted to that rush of connection and intense emotion, and I've been trying to learn the appreciation of the slow burn and the smoldering embers. I think I'm more successful than he was, but that's only because I've learned the consequences through his example in the 30+ times I've read the story of those he touched.
It's really just a good thing I've never met anyone quite like me, because I would hate to think of the destruction we would cultivate, the havoc we would cause, in each other.
You are an SRCL--Sober Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you an Ayn Rand ideal. Taggart? Roark? Galt? You are all of these. You were born to lead. You may not be particularly exciting, but you have a strange charisma--born of intellect and personal drive--that people begin to notice when they have been around you a while. You don't like to compromise, but you recognize when you have to.
You care absolutely nothing what other people think, and this somehow attracts people to you. Treat them well, use them wisely, and ascend to your rightful rank.
Take it yourself.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:31 pm (UTC)I guess the 'least suspect' part is actually much harder than I thought when I wrote the question. As I try to think of characters I identify with, and I bet they'd come as absolutely no surprise to anyone who knew me -- even if it's only a passing understanding of who I am. That's food for thought in and of itself.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:34 pm (UTC)his (last) wife, carolyn, wrote a book about him a number of years back and i've always meant to pick it up.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:36 pm (UTC)You are an SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.
Please don't get even with this web site.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:43 pm (UTC)Come over WITH MY PIE and borrow the book. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 01:55 pm (UTC)i'd love to borrow "Off the Road." what type of pie am i making you again? didn't i promise you banana bread once too? damn, i gotta hit the kitchen.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 02:04 pm (UTC)I guess maybe the one people would find most odd would be Sergeant Joe Friday of "Dragnet" (the TV/radio show, as played by Jack Webb). I used to write little detective stories when I was a kid, and I always patterned my good guys after Friday - tough, no-nonsense, just the facts, but at the same time there was this softer side that you could tell was really sympathetic to the victims. There was a big softie hiding behind the crewcut and gruff exterior.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 03:34 pm (UTC)Which reminds me - will we be seeing you and
We've been here for a month, yo.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 03:35 pm (UTC)2. You don't need to bring banana bread AND a pie. One or the other. I'm already a fatty.
3. I'll give you the book (and any other book you want) on Friday when you come to my party and bring E. There is no room for discussion on this.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 03:36 pm (UTC)I'd love to know whom YOU identify as, momma!
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Date: 2004-07-01 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 07:12 pm (UTC)But the character I most identify with and which has survived the test of time (and change) in my life is Ray Kinsella from Shoeless Joe.
I first read the book when I spent a summer in Milwaukee on an exchange program. At that time, there was a huge bookstore on Downer Ave called Websters -- the place where I discovered the concept of the free coffee refill and the $1.50 basket of bread. I spent a LOT of time there that summer. The bookstore was locally owned, and full of couches and overstuffed armchairs, encouraging customers to sit and read a book as well as buy one. I remember pulling Shoeless Joe off the shelf, reading the opening line, and sinking into a chair to read more. I didn't come up for air for about an hour, and when I did, I was utterly confused -- couldn't imagine why I wasn't in Iowa (a place I'd never visited).
It was love of that book (and the translation that made it to the screen) that's partially responsible for bringing me to Iowa. But beyond convincing me that Iowa was a place where magic happened (and that's proved true in my life), I loved the central message of listening to that inner voice and risking safety on strange schemes that come from the heart. I've changed over and over in the last ten years, since coming to the States, and that theme's taking on new meaning over time. But it never gets old to imagine hearing the voice in the corn, or to imagine a love so strong that it vibrates up from the very earth we're standing on and speaks our desires out loud.
Doc Graham says at one point in the book that when you've found your special place, the wind never blows so cold again. That's true of Iowa -- it'll be my special place even when it's time to leave and find new homes -- and it's true of the corner of my heart that's tangled up in Ray Kinsella's search for his father.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 07:20 pm (UTC)She is a strong woman in a time that was unacceptable. But mostly she was determined to get what she wanted, and had no idea how to go about getting it in a health, above-ground sort of way. So she was manipulative and cruel, but to me it seems to have come out of a desperation and lack of skills. She was also passionate and charismatic and people were happy to follow her into whatever depths she would take them. She got in way over her head in a situation and just didn't know how to get out, so she got more and more desperate and more and more hysterical.
If all of that isn't a description of a teenage borderline, I don't know what is ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:08 pm (UTC)Thank you for writing all of that about Shoeless Joe. It was so insightful. YAY!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-04 03:09 pm (UTC)xoxoxo