More "Wife Swap"

[judecorp]

I was about to start yet another journal entry with "Okay, so..." and then I realized that I do that far too often. You'd never know I was a smart kid back in the day because it sure doesn't show! Oh well.

Tonight's "Wife Swap" really blew me away. I mean, I don't even know what to say. I guess I live in a plastic kindness bubble where people just don't treat people that way, you know? Especially when she and her husband went on about how their spirituality was all about honoring people and caring for them. Gah. I just can't imagine.

I don't expect the whole world to agree with me but I don't expect the world to treat me like crap either. I have always been so shocked whenever anyone ever yelled anything at me out of a car window or treated me poorly in some way. And I still remember acutely how sad and hurt I felt when Ohio passed Issue One by such a large majority because it felt like a serious and personal smack in the face to me, since I'd devoted so much time and energy to serving my community there.

And I'm a pacifist, but by the gods, if anyone ever ever EVER spoke about my Jennifer that way I think I would claw their eyes out. (Or at least pout a lot and get really mad.)

Comments

[gabriellag.livejournal.com]

That's the thing. How do you counter such ignorance? You just can't. She'll be spitting out Bible verses 'til the day she dies.

There is not a single thing you, or I, can do to change her little homophobic, hateful, close-minded, way of thinking.

Nothing. Ever. And that is where I get frusturated.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

See, I don't believe in "nothing, ever." I guess the lesbian couple didn't either, because I got the impression from Chris? (the crying one) that she wanted to participate in the show to try to educate people and expand people's horizons. And I have to say that I often feel exactly that way, that there is a possibility in every exchange, in every interaction, and by being a positive force for people hopefully someday I will change one mind.

We'll see if it ever happens. (I really felt discouraged about it with the Issue One thing, because I thought that maybe if I treated everyone with respect and gave my all to produce quality social work, maybe someone would think of me and vote against it... but I don't think anyone did.)

[gabriellag.livejournal.com]

You're right. I'm sure someone did. And maybe she didn't get through to mom and dad, but the kids loved her. And if they go into the voting booth when they're of voting age, it is, at the very least, going to enter into their thought process.


"Chris was cool. She cared about us. She had a daughter she also cared about. Why would I vote to hurt her."

Not. Ever. was a bit much. I just don't have much patience.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's hard to be patient when you just hurt so much. I was really impressed by Chris's grace during the whole altercation. She really kept it cool and doing that really painted the other woman horribly. It was quite effective.

[gabriellag.livejournal.com]

Hopefully someone on the fence saw that too and wondered how she could be so hateful.

[therewaslight.livejournal.com]

Sorry. I was out at dinner with my roommate and her boyfriend, getting shitfaced, and watching a cute boy play in a steel band. What did they say exactly on the show?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I can adequately paraphrase it. But this one lesbian swapped with a conservative woman and everyone was (mostly) polite to everyone, but at the end when they all meet up to talk about the experience, the conservative woman ripped the lesbians new assholes, basically telling them that they were depraved, that they were shacking up, that they weren't a real family, that they were inappropriate to expose to children, and that she felt it was immoral to put a lesbian in a house near her 12-year-old daughter because she could have been preyed upon.

Wow, longest sentence ever.

[jadefu.livejournal.com]

I wanted to smack that woman. Apparently she only follows selected passages from her bible. That "do not judge others" stuff? Well, she just didn't like that bit, so she skipped over that part.

And not too long ago an interracial marriage wasn't even legal in many states. I wonder how often she thinks about that?

It just strikes my last nerve to see people spout off all sorts of stuff about their spirituality, but they SAY it and don't always DO what they say their beliefs are.

I don't even know what else to say about her. That much ignorance just makes me sad.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

The thing that ticked me off was that she was always going on and on and on about excellence and about "doing things excellently." I think the excellent thing to do would have been to conduct herself with grace and dignity, even if she didn't particularly agree with all of the details.

I think (from what we saw with the editing) the husband did a pretty nice job of living his faith and beliefs just fine.

[gabriellag.livejournal.com]

I don't think she would have danced with gay girls.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That would have been interesting to watch.

[jennbits.livejournal.com]

i had to turn it off. it was making me sick to my stomach.

[jennbits.livejournal.com]

plz note: i turned it off immediately after hearing "an unconventional family that has trouble with their children. i wonder if there's a connection there" so i didn't make it very far

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

OMG that part totally got my hackles up! She pored through the family's bookshelf and then made assumptions about them based on the book! I don't even think the daughter had anything resembling Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Maybe it was a textbook or something!

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

holy crap, that was so upsetting. yeah, if i was the redhead, there'd have been a BEATING. but as someone above said, hopefully someone on the fence saw that tonight and realized how fucked up homophobia is.

[livinginfits.livejournal.com]

i think that's an uninformed view of bigotry. eventually, every homophobe will have their own pet gay person who is "different" and doesn't fit their view of the depraved predator. i'm of the belief that you can't change bigotry, you can only educate the next generation and hope to outlive the last one.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope so, but a lot of times I think the people who feel that way will watch and think she was totally vindicated.

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

fuck yeah! i'd claw their eyes out too! i hate some stupid homophobes! that's why i'm all about the lack of the word "gay" as a negative epithet. because it implies that it's okay when freaks (i.e. homophobes) say it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You're so GAY.

[whirledpeas.livejournal.com]

I thought that lady was CA-REEP-EE

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

She brought "excellence" to creepiness.

[katy-kate.livejournal.com]

What I find even more disturbing is that the mean lady obviously went on the show to make her feel better about her own situation. Isn't that really why most of the people who watch or participate in this type of show do so?

I hate to think that people who are such fine examples of the fringe are actively seeking ways to display their hate in the name of religious beliefs. I also hate to see television producers giving them a forum. I, for one,am going to think twice about my motivation for watching television, perhaps I am just as needy for the sense of being "right".

Shame on Wife Swap for producing a show where everyone loses.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Shame on Wife Swap for producing a show where everyone loses.

I really like the way you said this. Thank you.

[gabriellag.livejournal.com]

Two nights in a row. Yippee!

Did you watch ER tonight? Carrie's adoptive mother finally found her, only to be appalled by the fact that she is a lesbian.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ha! We are so ridiculously joined at the brain tonight. See my most recent post!!

[estrange.livejournal.com]

That lady was just awful. How could she live with herself and call herself a good person when she treats others that way? And why didn't her husband stand up and say anything? The lady (I can't remember her name) kept saying how she is in a "conservative republican Christian" household yet she's in a biracial marriage, which you'd think would make her more liberal. I mean don't you think she would have gone through some discrimination in her life from being in a biracial marriage? I'd expect she has and you'd think she learned to be more accepting from it but apparently not. That's just sad.

The things she said were horrible! And acting like her daughter was in harm because she was there! It's really sad. What is wrong with people?

I live in the same plastic kindness bubble as you.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know you do, that's why I like you so much!

You know what I thought was really tacky? The way she was always talking about how much money her husband makes, and how they buy the best of everything, and how good it is to be his wife because they are so rich. It really made me sick to my stomach. Why doesn't she take some of that money and her "Christian" beliefs and do something GOOD with it instead of buying fancy (girly) sleigh beds for her CHILDREN.