Stress

[judecorp]

Lately it seems like nighttimes are the worst. During the day my mind is spinning in so many different directions so I'm pretty much able to just function as usual. It's when the sky gets dark and the world gets quiet that everything gets a little bit testier. I don't even know the right word for it because I'm not the kind of person who gets weepy or sad, more irritable and stressed. I've been walking a pretty fine line where everything is a-okay until some little thing goes wrong. When there are no hitches, life is great. When there is the tiniest little slip-up, it becomes The World's Hugest Deal.

I don't really like being that kind of person. I'm usually a pretty mellow egg and I don't like getting set off by every little thing. It's sad that everything is irritating me, and then my irritation starts to irritate me. Oh yeah, I'm good company.

On top of that, I'm having major money stress which is certainly more than quick to push me over that line. We started having problems with the car (bucking, jerking) on one of our last visits to Rhode Island, and we took it to the approved dealer so that we could use the extended service plan that we pay for. Because it was the Expensive Dealer, we got an Expensive Diagnostic and an Expensive Rental Car. And then the problem ended up being the effing SPARK PLUGS, which of course are not covered by the service plan... so then neither was the diagnostic or rental car. With the diagnostic, rental car, spark plugs and wires purchased at the auto parts store, and a quick trip to Wiley's, we're out an extra $200 that was certainly not in the budget. Especially not after a funeral downpayment and pricey (but gorgeous) funeral flowers. And several extra tanks of gas. And lots of eating out en route. And funeral clothes.

I hate money. Money just makes me want to throw up. A lot.

(p.s. Thanks so much, Wiley!! You are the bestest evar!)

Comments

[luloubelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm trying not to freak out about money. I just keep thinking it will work itself out. I know I need to go back to work soon...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Money just messes everything up, doesn't it? Ugh. I hope everything starts to calm down for you.

[whirledpeas.livejournal.com]

I love you for everything you ARE.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

EVERYTHING??!?!

[juliann.livejournal.com]

Momma, are you doing any kind of active stress relief, esp on a daily basis? Still going to the gym, doing guided relaxation or meditation, or other things specifically for stress reduction that are NOT watching tv? (Cuz I'm sure you know that tv/dvd doesn't count.)

It might be worth building a bit more in during this particularly stressful time, just to give yourself a bit more ability to cope.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I can't say that I've been actively doing anything to de-stress, which I know is a problem. I just haven't found the time! I haven't gone to the gym in weeks and I /really/ want to start getting back into that, but I couldn't do it yesterday (was fixing the car) and can't today (haircut and groceries). Maybe tomorrow, although I'm working until 6:45 so who knows. Between running back and forth to Rhode Island, trying to write thank-you cards for funeral gifts, trying to manage a household, and that crazy thing called work, I haven't been able to get a lot of me-time in. I have been trying to chill for at least 30 minutes a day to read a book or something but haven't always been successful.

On the upside, it's not like I've been watching television, either. I can't even think of the last time I watched television aside from when Jen and I watched Finding Neverland on Sunday evening (which was great, by the way). I haven't turned on the television in weeks.

I just need things to calm down a little bit, but that's not likely any time soon. Things were already crazy BEFORE this happened... Jen and I actually had a three-day weekend away (sort-of-honeymoon) planned for this weekend but we had to cancel it for (among other things) financial concerns. And now that I really feel like I should be in RI on weekends helping clear out the house and settle things, there just isn't a lot of downtime.

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

Feel free to call me FIRST about car things. I might be able to save you some more money in the future before the Stealership gets to you, but I do undertstand this was a "we need a car" emergecny type thing. Glad I could save you the other $300, anyway! *HUG*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sure we'll definitely do that in the future, I just really worry about bothering you. I don't want to become that person who only calls when I want something, and unfortunately there hasn't been a lot of time for phone or social calls.

But thank you for the offer. I think we've learned our le$$on a little bit.