Random Acts of Not Fitting In

[judecorp]

Yesterday, my Jennifer and I received invitations to a bridal shower being held for one of my best childhood friends. Yes, invitations. As in, we received two. One for me and one for her. That was weird.

I mean, I understand that it's a bit out of the norm for someone to invite both halves of a couple to a bridal shower (since it's usually just the girls and the boys stay home). But two invitations, individually addressed, sent to the same house? That's just bizarre. The Maid of Honor should have saved herself a stamp. (And she probably should have put THE BRIDE'S NAME on the invitation, too, since Jen was like, "Umm, who is this for?" Since I knew the people I guess I didn't even think about it.)

~//~

Last night we attended a little cookout at Jeff and Melissa's place, on their new sweet patio with their cool fire bowl thinger. I absolutely adore them and I adore their friends (heck, they have good taste in friends, what can I say?), but I left last night feeling so... queer. I dunno.

It's not unusual for Jen and I to be the only non-straight couple in groups and it's not really a terribly big deal, but sometimes I just have one of those "one of those kids is not like the others" moments where I just kind of look around and go, "Buh?" J&M's gang of friends has been hanging around together for years, and that's cool. They're all very close and I love that. Somehow Jeff and Jay started talking about a couple of times when Melissa and Ami (their wives) got drunk and made out with each other... and how they should get them drunk again so they can do it again.

And all I could think about was, "DEAR GOD, WHO WOULD HAVE TO BE DRUNK TO MAKE OUT WITH MELISSA OR AMI??!?!" I mean, these are intelligent, beautiful, cute girls! Gosh, I wouldn't have to be drunk to make out with any of them! (That goes for Jeff and Jay, too - they're hotties!) It was just so funny, because I mentioned that I would never need to be drunk to kiss Melissa, and Ami said something like, "Me either, but to put my tongue down her throat..."

And then my mind went to: 1) Does anyone /really/ put their tongues down anyone's throats when they're making out? Am I weird because I've never put my tongue /in a throat/? And then 2) They're just tongues, people! A little tongue-kissing never hurt anyone, never made anyone queer, and never requires embarrassment. KISSES ARE FUN AND DELICIOUS.

So then I felt like the weird kiss-slut on the patio, because heck, I would have stuck my tongue into every single person's mouth there probably, if it ever came down to it. It's just not that big a deal to me.

~//~

Man, now I want to go stick my tongue down someone's throat. Any takers?

Comments

First, the kissing!

[cfred.livejournal.com]

1) I'm thinking maybe Gene Simmons has put his tongue down somebody's throat while making out, but anybody else probably comes up a little short (hee!) of that. Now, in the mouth, oh yeah.

2) They're just tongues, but sometimes people call dibs on the tongues, y'know? Or, I could probably get away with kissing you on the cheek, but not the tongue. Well, without the "Kayt, (you were drunk and) you did too" defense, at least. :) Or asking permission first, to make sure it's not that big a deal.

Re: First, the kissing!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, of course I would never kiss anyone without permission (theirs, Jen's, their partner's)... but I mean, all of that aside. If the permission was all there, why would you need the alcohol to kiss someone of the same sex?

*shrug* I guess I just don't get it because I would kiss anyone. I don't understand how Jen would refuse to kiss a boy, either.

p.s. You might be right about Gene Simmons.

Re: First, the kissing!

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

why would you need the alcohol to kiss someone of the same sex?

well, i think it's a matter for me of finding women attractive but not necessarily being attracted to them. it's that whole "straight girl" nonsense. ;) but with a little drink in me, get the inhibitions down, and it might happen. i just think i wouldn't normally feel comfortable kissing another woman while i was sober.

so yes, i think you don't get it because you would kiss anyone. :)

Re: First, the kissing!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So it's all because I'm a big whore, is that what you're saying??!?! ;)

(Because in truth, I would kiss and have kissed a number of people that I was SOOOOOO not attracted to.)

And then, the awkwardness

[cfred.livejournal.com]

Or, I'll counter your feeling-especially-queerness from yesterday thusly.

So Kayt and I were driving around after doing some shopping, exploring the neighborhood. So I drove past the bar where I went to play spades with...okay, with a meetup.com group this week. So we're driving along and pass this couple that's about to get in their car. Two women, not a big deal, except one of them has like a bright rainbow tie-dye shirt or something equally attention-drawing on.

Then it dawns on me. I'm driving around Decatur on Pride weekend and I'm straight. I had this sudden weird out-of-place feeling.

Re: And then, the awkwardness

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Eh, there are tons of straight people at Pride festivals. Your problem in Dick-hater is that YOU'RE A GUY! =P

Re: And then, the awkwardness

[cfred.livejournal.com]

I'm a straight white male. I just can't win on this side of town. :)

Though, across two streets and a set of train tracks from the bar in question is Atlanta's major all-women's college. Which, I'm sure, it's just a coincidence.

Re: And then, the awkwardness

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Of course it is.

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

A little tongue-kissing never hurt anyone, never made anyone queer, and never requires embarrassment. KISSES ARE FUN AND DELICIOUS.


AMEN!!!!

Any takers?


Don't tempt me, you vixen!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

SNAP!

[thespian.livejournal.com]

Man, now I want to go stick my tongue down someone's throat. Any takers?

Don't you have a girlfriend to wake up? :-)

What was great fun, yesterday, at pride, was watching all the straight boys who COULDN'T let go of their gf's arms. NOT hand holding, or anything normal like that, but holding onto the gf's arm in a "see. I have a girlfriend. I'm just here in support. See? supporting. Yep. That's me. Supportive. Honey, come back here."

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Hee, that's funny! People-watching at Pride is the best ever!

And *ahem* I have a wife. Who's awake. And in the shower. Cause we have to go to RI again today, but need to make a quick trip to Target first. DRAT.

[oxlahun.livejournal.com]

A trip to RI is inconvenient, sure, but never take the name of Target in vain. :)

I'm pretty sure I don't have permission from jadefu to kiss people other than her. Especially with tongues. That's okay; it means she cares. Kissing is not a big deal, but neither is not-kissing.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, I would NEVER take the name of Target in vain! (Although I admit that the South Bay Target leaves little to be desired. It is always out of EVERYTHING I want!)

And yeah, I can't say that I'm sitting around dying from the lack of kissing other people. How can I complain, when I have the very best kisser right next to me?

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

"1) Does anyone /really/ put their tongues down anyone's throats when they're making out?"

FWIW, I think it's a common exaggeration.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, but I was trying to be funny.

HUMOR, DAMMIT! =P

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

On the kissing, I think it's a cultural thing. "Nice girls" don't break the rules, but a little rule-breaking is okay when drunk. Me, I am a nice girl who doesn't need alcohol to consider kissing anyone. Checking with Ralph would be important though.

I think the "tongue down throat" is an exaggeration, though I once kissed someone who attempted to do that to me. Ewwwe. Never went near him again.

The maid of honor was being silly, in my opinion. Just my two cents.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's an interesting theory re: nice girls breaking the rules. I guess it's like when people use alcohol as an excuse to say something to someone that they don't have the guts to say when sober. They DO call it "liquid courage," after all.

What IS it with people who totally kiss badly? I dated this guy in high school who always looked like he was trying to actually eat my face. I had to wipe off gallons of slobber whenever he was done. GROSS.

Girls kiss much better, IMHO.

[eight.livejournal.com]

I totally kissed a guy once who thought the expression "tonsil hockey" was literal. Needless to say, I'm glad getting my tonsils removed renders me ineligible. (Also, having a gf who is quite conscious of the no-tongue zone is nice.)

Also ... Jude, are you a slut and I just never knew? It's a shame you might be moving before any apartment get-togethers or before we really get to know each other! : (

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

1. There seem to be a lot more bad guy kissers than bad girl kissers, in my experience anyway. Guys seem to get a little more, erm, messy. (Yuck.)

2. Yes, I am a bit of a kiss-whore (well, a recovering kiss-whore, Jen kind of put the smack down on all of that) but it's all just a part of my charm. Really.

3. We are going to get to know each other. WE ARE. I demand it. We are going to get together soon, dammit!!

[eight.livejournal.com]

1. Yes. Like the way guys are way worse at cunnilingus than females.

2. Hahaha, kisses are fun, but I feel like at this point of only kissing Lisa's lips for so long, they're the only lips my lips fit with. : )

3. Well respond to my dinner comment and come over already! Also, I currently don't actually have a job after Wednesday which is awesome, so I have even more time to clean and cook for guests.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think kissing other people every once in a while is a good thing, because then it reminds you how good you've got it! (At least *I* have it good, because my Jennifer is the best kisser ever.)

And yeah, I totally need to respond to your comment and plan a time to come over... I just don't know if I'm coming or going anymore now that most of my free time is spent in RI or writing thank you cards for funeral gifts.

whoa...

[thelastbard.livejournal.com]

You never tried to stick your tongue down my throat. :(

Re: whoa...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Umm, EXCUSE ME, I do believe I made it VERY clear at Philmont in 1998 that I had a crush on you. And if I remember correctly (which I always do), you were SOOOO not interested.

I hocked a loogey in your Cree-Mee, though. That's pretty close.

Re: whoa...

[thelastbard.livejournal.com]

mea culpa...

Mmmmmmm, Cree-Mee with loogey...

Re: whoa...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH*

[livinginoctober.livejournal.com]

I would probably be a little bothered by that, too.

It reminds me of the time I took my ex girlfriend, who was extremely butch, to a Mary Kay party. Poor girl. The only reason she went was because she loved me and did it as a favor. She was treated like she wasn't even there, and my best friend told everyone she was my cousin. This was the same best friend who told me she debated letting me around her children (who I loved dearly and they adored me) because of my sexuality. Needless to say, I ended that friendship, as much as it hurt.

Have I told you these stories? I probably have. I'm horrible about repeating myself.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, my Jennifer would be so miserable at a Mary Kay party. Then again, so would I. I am so not into the whole make-up scene. (Though I'm looking pretty girly these days, so at least I'd blend in a little better than she would.)

And no, you haven't told me those stories. But they're horrible. I have clients that I work with who tell me that they won't let X, Y, or Z person around their child because that person is GLBT and they don't want to "confuse" their kids... and I never know what to say when that happens. But I can't imagine how much worse I would feel if it was someone I knew personally or cared about. YIKES.

[livinginoctober.livejournal.com]

The thing that was the hardest was confronting her about it. And she denied it. But it was something that cut me so deeply, I had specifics. I knew the day she told me, the TIME, where we were sitting, and very intricate details about the conversation. After telling me she debated letting me around her children, she discussed it with a fellow churchgoer that also knew me. The churchgoer told her to let me back into her house, so there would be an opportunity to WITNESS to me and try to get me to see the evil of my ways.

And yet, she still denied, because she actually saw how horrible of a statement it was.

I miss her horribly, but her children even worse. I know I shouldn't want her in my life, and I don't because she doesn't accept me, but it's still really painful, we were extremely close. She was actually one of the very first people I came out to, and back in high school, she was very accepting. It was after "finding Jesus" that she turned her back.

I wish I could let go of the hurt...but I just can't understand, you know?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ugh. That sounds so horrible. I don't envy you at all. I'm sorry you have to go through that. :(

*hug*

re: alcohol

[etherial.livejournal.com]

Maybe she needs a dose of liquid confidence with a splash of liquid flexibility.

Re: alcohol

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

But the REAL question is:

Would they need to be drunk to kiss ME???!?!