Crawling skin

[judecorp]

I'm feeling really anxious tonight. Really skin-crawling anxious. I really REALLY need all of this house stuff to be done so I can freaking get on with my life. I need evenings off. And weekends. And time to spend with my wife. And a social life like a normal person.

I have never taken well to feeling caged in or trapped, and this is no exception. I am jumping out of my skin. I need to GO GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOO.

Ugh.

Worked all day. Volunteered tonight. Got home at 10. Still need to do the general chores around the house. Get in bed, try to sleep, do it all again tomorrow. I won't have any "free time" until Friday, and then it's All eBay All The Time.

I'll be honest, kids - right now, I'm hatin' life.

Comments

[luloubelle.livejournal.com]

I'm right there with you.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I know you are. I read your stuff and though the situations are totally different (gosh, my heart goes out to your Mom and you trying to pull it all together - talk about role reversal) I can entirely resonate with your desperation and your frustration. I applaud you for being able to put it out there so eloquently and to be willing to expose yourself publicly in that manner. Most of the time I tell myself that I shouldn't allow myself to get this bad, that I shouldn't be so whiny because all it amounts to are some extra chores. (But of course it is more than that.)

Anyway, this is getting rambly but I wanted you to know that I think of you often, the twin sister I have that lives many, many miles south of me. I thought it was cute when we had the same haircut, funny when we had the same favorite pants... but when difficult times struck in similar ways I knew nothing except wanting to be there for you.

If we all had the money (wouldn't that be swell?) I would suggest that we and our girls take a big blow-out vacation together. Because we need it.

[luloubelle.livejournal.com]

Ditto. I feel like you're one of the few who truly understand what I'm going through. I feel bad sometimes, too, for complaining about having to take care of them when I really feel like being selfish and just saying, "fuck it all". Then I feel guilty like I could be doing more.

There's no right or wrong way to deal with it. It is a helluva lot more than just some extra chores. We do the best we can, and that has to be good enough. And like everyone keeps telling me, you have to take time out to care for yourself, too.

*hugs*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I feel guilty, too. It doesn't help when I /do/ try to take some time for myself and external people put the guilt on... as if I don't do enough of that myself. I am trying so hard to set some sort of boundaries with the "extra chores" so that I have some time to decompress, and then when I do that, I get lots of "why aren't you doing this?" things.

I wish I didn't care about all of this, but I do.

*hugs*

[folkyboy.livejournal.com]

¤hugs¤

[prettyvacantone.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

[poopsmoothie.livejournal.com]

Your Mondays are just like jimmybonez's Mondays-- he drives a schoolbus 6am-9am, then 1pm-5pm, babysits in between, then volunteers 6pm-10pm at the shelter. If I didn't have a shelter shift with him, I would never see him, and we live in the same house!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dear god, I could never drive a school bus. I would go absolutely crazy.

Yowch!