One day post gobble

[judecorp]

Thanksgiving Dinner was successful in the food arena - my uncle is a fantastic cook and everything was delicious. We don't really have any "special family" dishes, just the usual - turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, squash, rolls - although my grandmother's stuffing will literally kill you because it is made of about two pieces of bread and SEVEN POUNDS OF MEAT. I forget how many different kinds of meat, but I know there is ground beef and linguica and gah, there's probably something offensive like ground veal in it, too. I eat very very small amounts of it because it tears through my insides like woah but I also don't want to offend Grandma. My uncle likes the stuffing so much he makes sandwiches out of the leftovers. Stuffing sandwiches. PURE MEAT.

My aunt made green bean casserole this year because she had JUST HEARD OF IT. Dude, who hasn't heard of green bean casserole? Do they not see those commercials for those scary French's fried onions or Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup? Still, I like a little green bean casserole, so it's all good.

Tim seemed to have a good time and everyone was nice to him. He hit it off with my SIL because she is also a fan of karaoke and show tunes. The winning moment was when my aunt asked Tim if he would have been "watching all the football games" yesterday if he hadn't come over. HA HA HA HA HA.

I don't know when it became the family joke that I'm cheap, but it's really starting to become too much to bear. I'm not sure how someone can be called 'cheap' when she pays out more money than she brings in every month. If I were so cheap, I'd hope I'd have been able to save a couple of dollars in the last 1.5 years that we've been in Boston, or maybe not have to have endless conversations about whether or not we can even afford to have a baby. I'm just sick of hearing my brother berate me for not being able to afford to run the central air all summer long, or to keep the heat set on 75 degrees, as if somehow I have all of this utility bill money stashed away that I'm refusing to use while Jen shivers in the corner begging for another lump of coal for the furnace. If someone wants to come take a look at our finances and give us a heads up on how NOT to stress about impending $200+ heating bills when we didn't have much left over when the gas bill was $35, PLEASE, come on over! I'd love to hear what you have to say!

I especially liked the part where my grandmother called me "too cheap" to engrave the charm bracelet we bought my SIL for her birthday. Because, well, a cheap person wouldn't have bought her a freaking gift in the first place. Besides, I didn't know how she would want it engraved.

But the best part was watching my wife join in the fray, and needing my SIL in to stick up for me and tell people they were hurting my feelings. That takes the pumpkin pie.

Comments

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaaah, family teasing. Sucks ass.

Happy post-Gobble.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Why no one teases anyone else is beyond me. If it were a shared experience, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

And everyone knows all social workers are cheap bastards, dontcha know?

xoxoxoxo

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Money-grubbing selfish assholes, the lot of you.

*smootch*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

*makes out with you*

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

*turns up the lights, so everyone can watch and bask in the splendor*

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Ooh la la!

[keelamonster.livejournal.com]

Man, I hate the whole family teasing. There is a huge difference between 'cheap' and 'broke' and don't people get that. I mean, come ON. Did they never struggle for money ever?

It sucks struggling for money when the rest of the people you hang out with/are related to/love have plenty. My brother and his wife are sort of going through that now, having made a couple of moves that cost them some money. I don't think they're cheap by any stretch of the imagination, I think they can't afford a lot of things. And I respect that and don't make an issue of it. Or at least I certainly try not to.

If it really gets painful, tell your family that you're trying your best, you're not cheap, you're broke and to bugger off. It's nicer than telling them to shut the fuck up, I find. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That's what /I/ wonder! I mean, my family are not dirt poor, but we're not exactly rich people, either.

I think part of the 'problem' or cause of the teasing is that I managed to put a good chunk of money in the bank back when I graduated from college, because I went to school on scholarship (and thus was able to bank money my grandparents had saved for college) and because I put away chunks of money that were given to me instead of spending them. I didn't get new computers or cars or other fun things, but I knew that I was never going to be in a career that made any kind of money and so I /had/ to find other ways to save money for a house... because I don't know if I'll EVER make more than "cover the bills" kind of money. Who knows, we might get lucky... but I'm not going to plan on it.

What's irritating is that I said /several times/ that we just plain can't afford to drop $300/month on natural gas this winter... that I'd /love/ to have a warmer house. I don't /like/ having to bundle up just to sit in my living room, I don't /like/ having cold hands when I use the computer, and I don't /like/ worrying about whether I will have catsicles when I get home. Ideally, we'd set the house at 72 or so all the time and just forget about it.

Heck, I got this laptop only because Jen got this selling bonus at work... and even then she had to practically force it on me because I wanted to bank the money so that we could raise the heat this winter!

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

I never heard of green bean casserole before I moved here..

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

You have an excuse, you're Canadian.

(Kidding. I'm sure there are Canadians who have heard of green bean casserole. I don't think I'd seen it anywhere other than television until I lived in Ohio, actually.)

[grrlpower.livejournal.com]

I know, I was actually going to ask if your aunt was canadian :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is that she's actually from OHIO (Cleveland area).

[kungfoogirl.livejournal.com]

But honey, doesn't green bean casserole have dried onions on top?

And I'm sorry about the rough time. =( Sometimes people tease folks that they think get too flustered over things (hence making it "fun" to watch someone get upset) or those that they think will just take it, because what's the harm in that?

People that take a little ribbing, but can somehow draw that line, escape teasing.

I just recently learned the tone of voice that says "I'm not upset, but I'm not having any more of this." The few times I've been able to use it have been wonderful though.

If I were in your shoes, I'd talk to people individually and tell them that your feelings were hurt and that you'd like it if they didn't tease you about that anymore. Of course, someone might suggest that you're being too sensitive or taking it too seriously (at least, that's beena common reaction when I've confronted people about excessive teasing). But if there's anything I've learned from you, it's that your feelings are valid. Regardless of how it was intended to be taken, those comments made you feel a certain way, and people shouldn't just dismiss those hurt feelings.

Anyways.

Just my long ramblings thoughts. Even if I'm totally off-base and completely wrong, at least it might help to know that someone else sympathizes.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Duh, I don't eat the dried onions, just the green beans!!

I thought I had been quite firm with the "stop it" remarks. There was added difficulty because it was in the middle of thanksgiving dinner (hello, audience) and there were also a number of other conversations milling about (way loud). What a pain in the butt.

Still, I think I nipped the problem in the bud and hopefully won't run into anymore drama. Gosh, I hope so. I talked to Jen about it on the ride home (I was pretty ticked at her for going along with it and not defending me at all) and also chatted with my brother about his part in it a day or two later... so no big thang.

It's just annoying as hell to have a bunch of family members who have WAAAAY more money than you do go on about how cheap you are. Share the wealth, people!

[poopsmoothie.livejournal.com]

Wow, jerkwads.

We keep OUR heat set to 60. :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Brrrrrrrrrrrr!

[smurfbrother.livejournal.com]

Sorry, when I saw it was making you uncomfortable, I stopped. I didn't mean to make you sad.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's okay. I'm over it. But I'm /not/ cheap, for crying out loud!

Maybe I'll be too cheap to buy you a Christmas present, HAR HAR.

[smurfbrother.livejournal.com]

Well, you've certainly always been better than I am at saving - so you can surely buy me a GREAT Yule gift.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Dude, I haven't saved a cent since we moved to Boston. However, we've been quite good at using the savings.

We already have a gift for yooooooo, because not only am I a master saver, I am also On Top Of The Holiday Schtick!

[dyketit.livejournal.com]

tell them that your way more extravagent then me, (who they dont know but that is irrelevent), because when our roommate came home the other day our house was 39 degrees. oops. he's like "i tried not to care but when i went up to the attic (his room) and tried to type and couldnt feel my feet or hands i had to turn on the heat, im sorry!" lol. best advice, just buy space heaters, we never used our heat last year, just space heaters and NOONE who came over knew, we'd get lost of comments on how toasty the house was and electric is alot cheaper than gas or oil. this year we havent been able to find the ones we want, which is why we are so cold, but they normally have really safe( ie. pet safe ones) for cheap.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm going to look into pet-safe space heaters. I didn't even know they made pet-safe space heaters. I was always too worried about our cats to get a space heater. (Well that, and I worry about fires. Do you worry about fires?)

[dyketit.livejournal.com]

ours are insanely safe, cool to the touch, shuts off if it is tipped over, removable filter so nothing gets to the motor (ie cat hair) so i dont really worry about anything. as kittens our cats used to sleep on the top of the heater. lol they are safe and only really cost about $30. this year we ahvent yet found ones with the removable filter and since that is a HUGE deal (the cat hair ruins the others in weeks) we havent bought anymore this year, but since we HAVE heat we just keep in on in the day set to like 60 and off at night, with the space heater in the bathroom soeveryone can warm themselves and we dont have to sit on a cold seat!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Great idea!!

There's more of gravy than of grave about you.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

That was definately not nice of them. At all.

However, the image you painted of you being all Scrooge with the lump of coal made me giggle.

Re: There's more of gravy than of grave about you.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Please, sir, just another little pebble for the fire?

(I'm glad I can amuse you.)

Re: There's more of gravy than of grave about you.

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

Mwah!