judecorp | I want my Mommy!

You know, I have fun when I'm babysitting, all the way up until it's time for bed. Then it is just SO exhausting.

E will just not go to sleep! She follows the whole bedtime routine perfectly - potty, pajamas, toothbrushing, two books... then all hell breaks loose. She just Will. Not. Sleep. She lays there, eyes wide, telling me she misses Mommy 873278723957 times. (And I know she misses Mommy, and I feel bad that she misses Mommy, but really, what can I do about it?)

I've tried almost everything... from cuddling and trying to make her feel better to explaining that Mommy will be home soon to ignoring her after the first couple of times to saying, "Shhh, time for sleep, no more talking" a million times to laying in bed next to her and reading a book. Sometimes she falls asleep eventually (bedtime is at 8 and the moms come home between 10 and 10:30 usually) and sometimes she is still awake when they get home.

It's just so exhausting. In fact, I'm now dreading going over there because I don't want another 2 hours of "I want my Mommy" when there isn't a dang thing I can do to help. It's not like I can mysteriously make Mommy come home, you know? (I tell them this is going on, that's really the best I can do.) It becomes so tedious and last week I really felt myself becoming irritated.

I need to think of another strategy, and quick, because I'm not up for that tonight.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I agree. She's stalling because she's figured out that you'll continue to entertain her. It's hard to get a kid to sleep (I know I always felt like a terrible person), but give her a few chances -- snack, story, etc. -- and then do what the two responses above this suggest. She'll probably cry, etc. but do your best to ignore it and eventually she'll figure it out.

Or, you could have a chat with the moms and let them know that this behavior is about to cost them a babysitter and they may take it more seriously.

Or, you can just do what I used to do when kids refused to sleep -- I'd put them to bed, turn out the lights, etc. and then read out loud from the most boring book I could find.

Usually after it continues for a little while, I roll over and start reading whatever book is on the nightstand. (Don't worry, they're all boring, heh.) Not out loud, just to myself. And I stop answering her.

I wouldn't worry about it if it was my kid, but this isn't my kid and I know that her parents are a little more lax on the limits than I am/would be. I walk a fine line where I try to do what I think is right but also within the parameters of their home routines.

I don't want to ignore her because her parents wouldn't ignore her... and I don't think ignoring her is the best thing. I mean, yes, she's trying to get my attention but she is also upset. And ignoring someone's pain is a complete no-no in my book.

In retrospect, "ignore" was not a good word choice. Ignoring pain is never good, but at the same time, this situation seems to be causing you pain. I've found consistency to be one of the most important things with kids and if you're not willing to deal with this every week, something needs to happen. A gap between you and the moms on this issue could easily encourage such behavior, so perhaps talking to the moms (explaining your frustrations and how the situation is affecting you) might be a good idea. Does she stall on her bedtime with them? How do they deal with it?

From where I sit, how it's irritating you (to the point of making you dread babysitting) makes not finding a solution essentially ignoring your own pain.

But, I'm also at the point in my babysitting career where if it's not fun, I don't do it* so take my opinions for what you think they're worth.

*don't take that to mean I bail the moment something is not fun, but if something consistently frustrates me about a babysitting situation (especially if I can't condone the parenting style -- i.e. dishonest and disrespectful kids), I don't put myself in that situation again. It just stresses me out and that's not good for anyone.

What /needs/ to happen is that the parents need to come up with a plan to address the situation, as it doesn't just go down this way the nights that I'm there, but all the time. So the two of them really need to decide what they want to do as a family and then do it. They should also let me know so I can do the same thing and set up a family routine.

Right now it's kind of chaotic because there /is/ no routine, and I'm a pretty routine-oriented person, especially when it comes to toddlers/preschoolers.

I don't spend my nights dreading babysitting and I don't think it's causing me actual pain, but I /do/ dislike the bedtime schtick (or lack thereof) and that needs to change. Perhaps I need to be more on top of letting the moms know that the situation has really escalated.

It sounds like the moms are lucky to have you -- someone who actively cares is priceless. That said, I agree that routine is very important -- especially for young kids. I don't have to go into why, but I think it's important enough to have a potentially awkward conversation about. Good luck and E is lucky to have a sitter who cares as much as you do.

It's true - I'm a dang good babysitter. Which is why I charge a decent amount of money. Heck, I'm 30 and have a handful of advanced degrees... so I definitely think I'm worth more than the teenager around the corner. ;)

Absolutely!

Also, I don't do it for fun, I do it for money. (I mean, it's more fun than being a waiter, which is why I do this instead.) And right now, we need that money.

it's more fun than being a waiter

That's pretty much exactly what I meant by fun. I've babysat kids in the past who made me think food service was an excellent option. Once I feel that way, it's not worth it and I can find a different part-time jobby-job. It sounds like it's not quite that bad yet, so again, best of luck and stay warm!

Thanks!

I want my Mommy!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject