I want my Mommy!

[judecorp]

You know, I have fun when I'm babysitting, all the way up until it's time for bed. Then it is just SO exhausting.

E will just not go to sleep! She follows the whole bedtime routine perfectly - potty, pajamas, toothbrushing, two books... then all hell breaks loose. She just Will. Not. Sleep. She lays there, eyes wide, telling me she misses Mommy 873278723957 times. (And I know she misses Mommy, and I feel bad that she misses Mommy, but really, what can I do about it?)

I've tried almost everything... from cuddling and trying to make her feel better to explaining that Mommy will be home soon to ignoring her after the first couple of times to saying, "Shhh, time for sleep, no more talking" a million times to laying in bed next to her and reading a book. Sometimes she falls asleep eventually (bedtime is at 8 and the moms come home between 10 and 10:30 usually) and sometimes she is still awake when they get home.

It's just so exhausting. In fact, I'm now dreading going over there because I don't want another 2 hours of "I want my Mommy" when there isn't a dang thing I can do to help. It's not like I can mysteriously make Mommy come home, you know? (I tell them this is going on, that's really the best I can do.) It becomes so tedious and last week I really felt myself becoming irritated.

I need to think of another strategy, and quick, because I'm not up for that tonight.

Comments

[saldemonium.livejournal.com]

I'd just tell her mommey will be home when she wakes up, close her bedroom door, and leave her. You're wearing yourself out fighting a losing battle, because she's getting what she wants. Your attention. As long as it works, she'll keep it up. It may seem harsh, but ignoring it is the best thing you could do for you both. Close her door, and good read well away from her.

[gimmeapony.livejournal.com]

Word^^^. We went through this for years with E's daughter. She used to cry cry cry everytime she went to bed at our house because she missed her mommy. It's an age thing- she's running out the door of her house and into our car before her mom can even say good-bye these days. But E always had the crying thing under control. He would go through the whole bedtime ritual and, without fail, she would start the "I miss mommy" bit as soon as the light went out. He would just give her a kiss and tell her "I'm sorry you miss mommy, but it's time to go to bed." Sometimes he'd have to tell her two or three times, but he was firm and consistent and it never took more than like 20 minutes for her to fall asleep.

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I pulled that as a little kid... My poor babysitters!

[iansha.livejournal.com]

You totally need to go the SuperNanny bedtime routine.
I *HEART* SuperNanny.

Then again, she isn't your kid. Hrm.

Maybe having a talk with the Mom's and letting them know this is an issue? Perhaps they can do some positive reinforcement (eg sticker chart), or give her a transitional object (eg teddy bear or tshirt that smells like Mom) to help soothe her? Is she the type of child that likes praise/rewards? Maybe they can "reward" her with a souvenier of the night before if she goes to bed on time?

Man, I'm in full on family therapy mode tonight.
Let me know if you try any of these or if I just gave you some amusement. :)

[livinginoctober.livejournal.com]

I'm going through something similar with the 9 month old I watch...he's extremely fussy with me on sporadic moments, and I know he's popping teeth like crazy, but nothing seems to soothe him in these moments. I'm frustrated because nothing I do seems to help and his mother can be kind of passive aggressive and condescending when I have attempted to talk with her about it, making me feel worse.

I feel for you with the constant crying for Mommy...that would be heartwrenching and exhausting!

[eeka13.livejournal.com]

I've usually had good luck with singing/humming; stuff without words or folk-type stuff with complex words she isn't going to tune into, starting out where she is (agitated? excited?) and then getting gradually slower and quieter. And otherwise ignoring her unless she actually needs something. I can get most kids to sleep in 10 minutes or less, but then, I'm a music therapist. Still, I think it should work with most kids. Otherwise, I'd go with the suggestion other people have made that you walk out and ignore her.

[laurajones.livejournal.com]

I am the toddler whisperer and also a seasoned "I Want My Mommy" vet. Here is my trick which very rarely fails:

"The Eyebrow Trick" (a Laura Jones original) - While the child is lying in bed in very dim light if any, use your thumb and middle or forefinger to stroke both eyebrows very lightly from the middles out to the tips. Just keep doing it very slowly and lightly and rhythmically. While you're doing it, answer maybe every fourth question or concern of the child. For every four "I want my mommy"s, you say one "I know, honey" or whatever, very quietly. It takes some patience, but it has always been a miracle worker for me.

If that doesn't work, you can always try reverse/tricky psychology. Often if I just say to a screaming kid, "Do you just want to sit and cry for a while?" they quit within 10 seconds. Maybe you could ask her if she wants to just lie in bed and miss mommy for a while. I know we all know this, but it never hurts to say it: sometimes we all just want to be validated.

Hope at least some of that helps!!

love,
Your Labortine

[fukumen.livejournal.com]

My parents didn't have very pleasant ways of making me go to bed if I was resistant. I learned not to go to bed punctually but rather to pretend that I did and then read under the covers with a flashlight or an unscrewed lamp fixture until 3 in the morning.


My grandmother, on the other hand, would put what I now realize was probably around two shots of whiskey in my tea or whatever I was drinking around bedtime. Of course, she would occasionally put that amount in my pancakes in the morning, if she made pancakes, so it didn't always have soporific intent. (Isn't that an awesome word?) My grandmother was awesome for many reasons, which is probably why she's dead.

Failing drugging your charge, the policy I always had with that age in my babysitting days was to exhaust the hell out of them shortly before bedtime. While they may appear to be invulnerable to conventional weapons, kids that age do actually run out of energy eventually- they'll just try not to let on for as long as possible.

It's also a LOT better to have them try to read to you, if they're at all able, or read a picture book- eye fatigue is still the quickest way to get a person of any age to get to sleep.