Curiouser and Curiouser

[judecorp]

We received a very odd sort of package in the mail this afternoon. Well, it's not that the packaging itself is in any way out of the ordinary - standard "pillow pack" type mail envelope, priority mail. But we haven't ordered anything.

The first odd thing I noticed was that the sender placed our address on both the "To:" and "From:" lines, effectively us sending the package to ourselves, J. A______ and J. G______ at address. I noticed then that the padded envelope was mailed with $3.20 in stamps - one $3 stamp and two wee 10-centers - instead of the usual printed label thinger that you get when you use the post office scale.

My thought pattern went from, "Oh, a surprise!" to "Maybe they used our address as the return address in case they were worried about having enough postage," to "someone is concealing the origin of this package." And that's when I got a little nervous. I mean, I'm not a big conspiracy theorist type, but it was a little creepy. What was it? Where did it come from? Why are there no distinguishing features? Is there any conspicuous powder? (Okay, I made that last part up.)

I ripped it open anyway and found a brand-new hardcover self-help type book with some printed out material sticking out. The printed material was about 6 pages on "Accepting Personal Responsibility," including helpful diagnostic scales! Sarcasm intentional.

I have strong suspicions where it came from, and I have to admit I don't have much love. If someone has something they think would be helpful to Jen and me, we'd love to hear it personally and discuss it. You know, as friends.

What's funny is that the home address was listed as # _______ Street, 3rd floor, which is a fairly unusual way to address something to us. Jen might give the address out that way (not sure) but it's not my standard. Most of our mail comes to "#3" or occasionally "Apt. 3" but "3rd floor" is quite rare.

On a whim, I pulled out our received holiday cards to see if my suspicions would be confirmed. HA! One card addressed to "3rd floor," one person I suspected of this "friendly tip." Passive-aggression does not good friends make. If you're reading and you have something you'd like to say to either one of us, hit me. I'm all ears.

Comments

[eight.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, that's ridiculous ... I can't believe someone you know would really do that.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, I believe it.

I've known a lot of people over a span of a lot of years. Many of us have simply gone in different philosophical directions, and I suppose it's time to let some friendships go when the distance is too great to span.

I'm not a very good friend-letter-go-er, because really, I like to keep in touch with people and stay connected to them - heck, I liked them for a reason, yanno? But I guess we learned a pretty valuable lesson today: some people are just not your friends.

Or, as Jen said, "That's messed up."

[laserkitty.livejournal.com]

Odd.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Very.

You really ARE Nancy Drew

[gimmeapony.livejournal.com]

"The printed material was about 6 pages on 'Accepting Personal Responsibility...'"

This is really funny, coming from someone who sent you a package anonymously. But seriously, how incredibly lame.

Re: You really ARE Nancy Drew

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA HA HA, I hadn't even thought of that!! :)

I'm a little slow sometimes.

Dear third floor

[(Anonymous)]

Come visit meeeee.

Yeah, that's about all I got. Though I would be the kind of person to write the suspected people back something jerky that let them know I know who they are.

I find it extremely ironic that they sent material about personal responsibility anonymously.

Re: Dear third floor

[cappucinogrrl.livejournal.com]

P.S. I guess I logged out. That was my comment.

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

Well, it weren't me, and I don't address things that way anyway.

[kieron.livejournal.com]

If it were you you would have singed it in BIG BOLD LETTERS.....because I know you and you don't go for that passive agressive crap that would come across as total stalker weirdness an dmake us feel all oogey inside....

[http://users.livejournal.com/_epiphany_girl_/]

That's weird. If it were friendly, you might expect, you know, a friendly card inside.

And good detective work, Jude!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean, if someone is genuinely worried about me, or Jen, or us (hard to tell from the packaging), that would be okay. But to go through such great lengths to be anonymous leads to me take it as some sort of personal attack rather than a friendly gesture.

[siercia]

Damn. You caught me.


Okay, maybe not. That is weird fucked up. People can be so dumb, can't they?

[scirocco.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's what I was gonna say. :)

[vorpalbla.livejournal.com]

In the good old days, people would just key your car and be done with it.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Or put an egg in your gas tank!

[00solstice.livejournal.com]

Well, you knew it wasn't me, as it wasn't Ann Coultier's "How to Talk to Liberals" book and the address was written as "3rd floor", instead of "really cool attic with mood lighting and huge bathroom where nuns used to live."

Have you heard anything about this book (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/22/books/review/22kamp.html) yet? It's been getting a lot of buzz among the circles I read.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It /could/ have been you - the packaging was a jingoistic red, white and blue. And even though we had a rainy and snowy day today, those colors DID NOT RUN.

Let me know if you end up reading that book. Like we talked about on the phone, I have mixed feelings going in, but I'll probably read it at some point. After I finish Lies My Teacher Told Me, though, I'm scheduled to read Roots.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

That is really, really weird. I would be very freaked out.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I was less freaked out after I opened it. The whole idea of a concealed-identity package kind of freaked me.

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

I can't say it any better than Jen: that's messed up.

Well, that's fucked up comes to mind too.

It's hard to let go of friends. Some people then go and make it easier for you...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So true. I just wish it wasn't that way. I don't really like letting go of friends. It's not in my nature.

[whirledpeas.livejournal.com]

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!
Nikki called me while I was getting my hairs cut and told me about this. Our mouths were both agape.

Of course I might be the first to say it (but I'm not the first to think it:)....PULL MINE OUT AND LOOK AT MY CHRISTMAS CARD - DID I PUT 3RD FLOOR? YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I got home and pulled out all of my address books. One of course has 3rd Floor...the other has just 3. Of course, as a Hall Director for 6 years...floor is a common address for me.

Shoot, I'm so caught up in my own carp to seekritly send some book. BUT I do have a good book if you DO want to read it - a few. I have WICKED...Angry Housewives Eating BonBons...Little Earthquakes...

Now - what address did I use???!!

[kieron.livejournal.com]

You didn't put 3rd floor.

Not sure what you did put, but only one card had it as 3rd floor.

[anitsirk.livejournal.com]

it seems to me that if you are sure about the sender, the only thing to do is address it back to

"mrs passive aggro"

from "mrs passive aggro"

with a post-it note on the cover of the book saying "i thought you might need this more than me".

[anitsirk.livejournal.com]

ps

i'm not saying that you would be the return "mrs passive aggro", but i'm supposing it's the only way for the package to get there with no identifying return address.

[mayna.livejournal.com]

It wasn't me, I keep meaning to send thank you cards out and those would take priority over some sort of bitchy anonymous envelope. that's too much work.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

This took some serious forethought. I can't even believe it. I would have never thought to put the stamps (uncancelled) and stuff. No return address, sure. But the whole picture?

I guess I don't have enough of a criminal mastermind.

Wow.

[etherial.livejournal.com]

My first thought was letterbomb. I would not have opened that thing without dropping it from a third story window or throwing rocks at it.

Re: Wow.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I don't like to admit it, but I /was/ kind of nervous when I opened it. It was just so... odd.

[quinniepants.livejournal.com]

if i could find a freaking post office, it might be me. but as it stands, i still have your cd. and my mom sent me a certified letter that's waiting at some mythical address (cherry hill lane?? where the fuck is that, candyland?). so i'll try to get there before they send my letter back, but who knows. either way, if i wanted to be a jerk at someone i'd include a note saying something like, "get professional help, jackass!" and make it an actual psychology book about borderline personality disorder, not some hackneyed dr. phil bullshit.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Whatever you do, just don't send it to "3rd floor" or I shall have to "forget" that you are my favorite Quinnifer Jean in the whole wide world.

p.s. If you lived in Candyland, how freaking cool would that be? I would totally go visit you all the time and eat all of the delicious candy.

p.p.s. Lots of people have suggested mailing the book back anonymously. I can't believe I never thought of that!

[iansha.livejournal.com]

My oh my! Passive Aggression is SO FUN! :)

This is even better than that time my Dad sent me and P individual copies of the Christian self-help marriage book for my birthday. After we'd been separated and living apart for over a year.

Yeah. Like that. ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

OH NO HE DI'INT!!!

[jennbits.livejournal.com]

god.. welcome back to 7th grade :(

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

SO WEIRD.

[buddhafly4224.livejournal.com]

this is like how someone i was friends with in college decided to write me a very random myspace message about how i'm a horrible person (for telling a friend of mine she was cheated on by our other friend, mind you) but it's like, if someone is going to take the time to do something like that, they obviously really do want to have some sort of communication with you and aren't over you or your friendship and are bitter because they no longer can be around your awesomeness. knowhatimean? that's how i take it, anyway.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Great perspective! I hadn't thought of it that way before.

I just wish that if someone were concerned about me or wanted to communicate some sort of message to me (or Jen), they could just do it to me. On the phone. Or e-mail. Or by signing a note. Or SOMETHING.

That sucks about the myspace thing. Ugh.

[volumeat11.livejournal.com]

Yes. I have 2 things to say.

1. My Seahawks beat your Redskins. I'll bet you lost oodles of sleep over this.

2. We miss you guys.

There. I said it. Them. I said them. There.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

1. I didn't even know the Seahawks played the Redskins. Although now that you mention it, it makes since, since the Redskins made it to the playoffs. Which means they would have to play against someone. Really, I just thought of you when I heard that the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl. :)

2. We still need to make our pottery date in February, yo!

[hoo.livejournal.com]

Since you've figured out the sender...

Send it back the same way, substitute a pamphlet from the post office on suspicious packaging.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Does the post office really have a pamphlet on suspicious packaging? That would be funny. Except that I'm just going to let it drop.

[skreeky]

OK, my first thought was just "What the FUCKING fuck???" And why on earth would someone with such ISSUES about you bother to do something like send a Christmas card?

And then I started thinking that this is made super-extra creepy by that anonymous commenter awhile back that felt the need to bring up all sorts of bizarre, irrelevant, and in fact blatantly false (or if I were feeling more generous "misinformed") legal crap when you were pondering fertility options.

Seriously dude. Somebody needs to go suck eggs, and it ain't you.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think the issues came about post-holiday time. If it's the person I think it is, anyway. *shrug* But I could still be wrong.

And yeah, the person who posted that anonymous crap about my parenting was using an IP through Comcast in Maryland... so I have no clue who that was. I asked him/her to identify him/herself so I could respond, but they never did so I never bothered.

Life is funny sometimes.

[smurfbrother.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, just out them already! No Nancy Drew book is complete without the perpetrators unmasked. And then the perp can post that he would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Naw, I don't really want to go there online. I'll tell you on the phone sometime if you really want to know, but I don't really want to make this any more dramatic than it already is.

Meddling kids!

[serenity-coach7.livejournal.com]

Um Yeah WTF? And they were good enough friends/acquaintances to send a Christmas Card....

I too chuckled at the irony of sending the Personal Pesponsibility book anonomously....

Hugs to you Hun...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, if it really is the person I think it is, the drama happened post-holiday-card-sending time. But who knows? Whatever. :)

[rachelmichellek.livejournal.com]

what was the title of the book? the mystery is killing me.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I put it in one of the other comments. It's something like Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart.