Love, Hotness, Babies, and Anniversary Decisions

[judecorp]

Jen got a haircut last night and she looks so incredibly hot right now. I mean, she looks hot all the time but her hair was starting to get kind of shaggy in the back and the front had lost its texture. And The Dark Overlord fixed it and made it messy in front and clean in the back and holy hot damn, she is good looking. Her hair falls into her eyes and it is just Too. Much. To. Handle. Yow.

Can I just tell you how psyched I am that I still totally have the serious hots for my wife? She rocks my socks. She also gets my rocks off. Rocks rocks rocks. I'm just glad she's so darned sexy.

~//~

My fertility monitor arrived at work today but I forgot to bring it home. It doesn't really matter, though, because I can't start using it until my next CD1, which could be as much as 2 months from now given my recent history. I ordered a new basal thermometer, too, but it hasn't arrived yet. Babies babies babies.

Speaking of, Jen and I have talked about it at length and I think (we're Libras, ask again tomorrow) the consensus is to go at this thing as aggressively as possible and hope that conception occurs sooner rather than later. The chances of success increase with IUI versus intravaginal inseminations, and IUI-prepared sperm are of a better quality than standard sperm. And if the doctor wants to do a bunch of blood tests/ultrasounds to maximize chances, we'll probably give it a go. As long as we can afford it, that is. We probably can't do it that way forever.

I'm also going to try to get my doctor to file the insurance claim anyway, even though it will be rejected, so I can attempt to go through the appeals process at the insurance company. It's worth a shot.

~//~

We'd always talked about having a big first anniversary party to celebrate our marriage because we didn't have a wedding (for a number of reasons, not the least of which being my bad wedding experience). What do you think about that? Is it cheesy? Does it come across like some sort of gift-grubbing endeavor? If it's NOT cheesy, do we have it at a place like a wedding reception, or just a big house party?

Decisions.

Comments

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

First anniversary parties do NOT come off as present grubbing.

I say, Celebrate Your Bitchin' Love, Babes!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

But, like, Jen had envisioned a big, formal party that would be like a wedding but without the, you know, wedding. With registry and stuff. Somehow having a registry for an anniversary party makes me kind of uncomfortable. I'd probably like a casual party with friends, but Jen kind of missed out on the whole "having a big wedding" ordeal and I think wants to make up for it now.

[odd-dog.livejournal.com]

can you compromise and rent out a bowling alley?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

The Milky Way in JP is actually the place where Jen really wanted to have our little party. They charge big bucks to rent out, however. It's cheaper than, say, a formal hotel reception area, but it ends up being something like $300/hour plus catering, decorations, etc.

[odd-dog.livejournal.com]

have a potluck??

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

In our house, or at a bowling alley?

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd shy away from doing a registry for the annimaversary party. Having a big ol' party? I'm all keen on, though.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Like a big ol' reception-hall-cha-ching party? Or like a house party? Help!

[wendywoowho.livejournal.com]

My personal preference would be house party, but I can see wanting a reception hall soiree if a reception hall soiree has never been had. A dinner dance can be a lot of fun -- though the planning can be a right royal bitch.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

though the planning can be a right royal bitch

And our anniversary is May 13th!!

[indigodove.livejournal.com]

Good luck making a baby. I am rooting for you!

I think it'd be wonderful for you to have a 1st anniversary party. I'd even try to come :-)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'd love for you to come visit, for our anniversary or any other time. I miss you!

[prunesnprisms.livejournal.com]

Not sure what to say--I also think about having the quiet wedding with the big bash to follow later (it worked out really well for skreeky, anyway) but do you spend the money on a reception site or on the baby-making?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

See, that's where *I* am stuck. If we're looking at dropping huge sums of money on babymaking enterprises, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to drop a sum of money on renting out a place and feeding 150 nearest and dearest.

However, Jen really feels left out of the whole "have a wedding" experience and it seems important to her. I have a hard time denying her of anything, let alone something important. It's doubly tough because the money we'd be spending out of savings (for babymaking or weddingmaking) is likely at least mostly from stuff I've been saving for a billion years. I dunno.

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

we should talk. a very close friend of mine is about to start trying (using iui) and i'm going to be very involved in the process. i think the first try is gonna be this monday or tuesday.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Wow, how exciting!

I see my doctor again on March 3rd and we will decide where to proceed from there at that time.

[changinglight.livejournal.com]

I think the idea of an anniversary party rocks!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I like the idea of an anniversary party, too. I'm just kind of weirded out by making it a lot like a wedding reception, just a year after the wedding. I don't mind the idea of /inviting/ the people who would have been invited to a wedding reception, something about having a full-out reception (at a reception place and all) seems kind of... awkward to me.

Where did you guys get married?

[changinglight.livejournal.com]

we got married in a church in plymouth (the church of the pilgrimage. it's ucc) and had our reception at Souther's Marsh golf club.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Thanks - that sounds lovely.

[vlindinhauer.livejournal.com]

~~~

I am pleased you approve of Jen's coif ...

... and have a big kick ass party, if not for you, but for her and your friends!

~~~~

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

But - a big, kickass party in a rented place that costs big bucks? Or do we try to cram everyone into our apartment?

That's the million dollar question!

[skreeky]

The big anniversary party thing is not weird, and is more common than you think. However, if the point is to set up a registry and get gifts, I don't think that's going to fly very well. Personally, if you hadn't said it here, I don't think it would have occurred to me that gifts were expected at an anniversary party, even a big one. These days, you don't even assume that about a birthday or housewarming. And a lot of people didn't give us gifts at our reception because it was "later" - by a mere week after the courthouse run - and therefore "not a wedding."

If it's important to Jen to do a big weddingy venue, that is not weird. But it is not cheap. I just don't think you can count on recouping any cost at all from getting gifts.

Can you fit it in your house anyway? I'd say draft a guest list first and figure out how many bodies we're talking about. Assume about 3/4 will come. Plan from there. If you wind up looking at venues, that number is the first thing you need to know anyway. Then decide what you want to have happen at the party. Dance floor? Background music only? Passed hors d'ouvres? Buffet? Potluck buffet? Sit-down served dinner? Karaoke? Girls on trampolines in miniskirts? Because that will also determine the kind of place you need.

How do you decide what should happen? I answered that question with "What elements do I need to make me FEEL all weddingy and married?" Personally, I needed a white dress and a cake and dancing and elegant little bits of food and champagne. I wouldn't have felt weddingy with a potluck pool party. But several of my friends have done exactly that and were thrilled with it. I didn't need huge arrangements of rare flowers or a clergyman or a small army of matching attendants, but some people really do.

So there you go. What do you and Jen need emotionally to FEEL weddingy? Take it from there.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I don't think Jen's /point/ of the party was to set up a registry and get gifts... I think it was more like she was seeing this as a postponed wedding reception and she was wondering if all of the parts should be there.

See, I don't need anything to FEEL weddingy. I fell properly weddinged. I'm not terribly opposed to having some sort of anniversary party but I definitely don't feel like I missed out on anything by not having anything formal, by not having a big hall party, whatever. Jen, I think, DOES feel like she missed out - and I do feel bad about that as much as I feel reluctant to have some sort of "year later" postponed wedding thinger. As for her, I don't know what all specifics she needs to FEEL properly weddinged - I know she wants to rent out a place and have her family members there and all of that... we had compiled a basic quick list and there were at least 100 people on it. Makes me nervous because, well, it's not like we have all kinds of money hiding away to throw parties for 100 people.

However, I think girls on trampolines would DEFINITELY make me feel weddingy! ;)

Jen really likes the idea of renting out The Milky Way... and while I agree that it could be incredibly fun (hey, it's a fun place), it seems like a logistical and financial nightmare. But how do you tell someone they can't have their wedding, you know? So hard.

[afullmoon.livejournal.com]

I did IUI's. My insurance sucked and didn't pay for them but my docotr got them to pay for the blood tests and all the ultrasounds they do which did save us about a 1,000. So maybe talk to your doctor about it. Also they recommended switching donors every two times if you didn't get pregnant. We had to switch and that worked out. I am crossing my fingers for you. If you have any questions give me a holler.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping that my doctor is able to put through the blood tests and ultrasounds and all of that. *crosses fingers* I know that I had a ton of blood work done last month and I'm pretty sure that went through insurance because I haven't received any kind of bill or statement. I hope so - there were genetic tests in there and stuff. Yikes!

How many IUIs did you do before y'all were successful? :)

[afullmoon.livejournal.com]

Sorry took so long to get back with you. I got pnemonia for the second time this pregnancy. My immune system sucks. It worked on the third IUI. We tracked for about two months before we started. It felt like forever but I know we were lucky.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. So happy for you. And FEEL BETTER!

[rizzo41.livejournal.com]

So call it a wedding reception instead of an anniversary party? Sure it's a year later, but you never did have one. If you have a party in your house remember that you don't have a whole lot of available seating. If you are planning on inviting more than 20-30 people I'd say that you'd want to look outside your apartment. If you do rent a place just remember that it doesn't have to be at the Four Seasons. We always rented out the VFW hall and did the catering ourselves. Not every place will be wicked 'spensive. Then again, depending on how many people you are inviting it might be more cost-effective to rent someplace all-inclusive. And if you do, no one says you have to feed people steak and fish. Tappas is all kinds of trendy now.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know we don't have a lot of house space. We have that big back yard but who knows what the weather will be like in May... also I don't know how the landlords would feel about that.

We could try to rent a VFW or similar type of hall in Dorchester or one of the other working-class neighborhoods... they're just usually pretty conservative organizations and I bet they don't often host anniversary parties for a couple of girls. Heh. Also, they're all in pretty crap locations because they rest of Boston is of course too froo-froo for the VFW Hall. ;)

I've been looking at a bunch of places that are all low- to moderately-priced (for wedding receptions) and by the time you include even reasonable catering, you're looking at $1000 or more.

I should just shove a bunch of pizzas in front of them and make them wear party hats.