Power Eater

[judecorp]

Dang, I am awesome at the healthy eating today. I am the supreme Power Eater. I started the morning with "Weight Control" oatmeal (which is high fiber/protein) with bananas and a glass of soy milk. For lunch I had a salad (romaine, cukes, red peppers, tomatoes, carrots), an orange, and a container of organic applesauce. For dinner I had leftover chicken and rice with some green peas, and because I was still a little hungry I had a handful of almonds.

I win at food.

I'm now 4DPO. If we conceived on Friday, I should be implanting any day now. Some people spot with implantation and I keep hoping for spotting. (How often does THAT happen?) I also keep trying to have some sort of "feeling" that I'm pregnant, some sort of symptom, but... yeah, nothing. I almost wish I could /psych/ myself into nausea so I could feel /something/. But I also know it's early yet and I have time to feel things.

I can't believe it's only been 4 days, because it feels like a million. I'll go in for my beta blood test on the 21st and that seems like a lifetime from now. I'll probably try testing sooner than that; maybe I'll head up to the $tree in Somerville to get some $1 tests. I'm trying to hold out until 10DPO even though that's too early, too.

I just want this to happen so badly.

Oh boy, "Queen Night" is starting on American Idol. BRING ON THE COMEDY!!

(I was wondering how long it would take to get to "Fat Bottom Girls." First song! Big fat fatty!)

Comments

[snack.livejournal.com]

i keep thinking of you when i wish for this goddamned period to start and hurry up and get over with.

but i have to do this if we're gonna do a frankenbaby one day :)

*hugs*

i'm hoping for + tests for you too!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awww, so sweet to think of me... except for the part where you're thinking of me when you're miserable.

But yeah, I think about you when I read people on my TTC boards who are dealing with endo and stuff. I feel very fortunate that I've never really had a painful period. (Didn't have too many periods, but the ones I have, they're pretty mild.)

Keep your fingers crossed!

[snack.livejournal.com]

fingers are crossed. (and ovaries by the feel of it)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Awwwh... (and thanks!)

[anitsirk.livejournal.com]

i don't think you want to psych yourself into nausea. it's a bad bad place to be.

i've never felt any pregnancy symptoms until after my period was wayyyyy late.

your frankenbaby definitely has an advantage. most people i know get rip roaring drunk before they find out they're pregnant. my mother was so drunk on new year's of 1980 that she couldn't walk. and there i was floating all tipsy in her womb... with all 3 now, i've sat there with my positive pregnancy test and been all "oops. maybe i shouldn't have had that 4th glass of wine."

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm just... and this is going to probably sound more callous than I mean it... I'm just a really goal-oriented person and once I set my mind on wanting something, I work it out and make it happen. And this one... well, shit. This one isn't all about my hard work. There's so many other factors, like whether Dude's goods are any good and just a little bit of dumb luck. And I CAN'T STAND THAT. I need to plan evvvvvvvverything!

But thank you for saying that you didn't feel anything until your period was way late. That makes me feel better for feeling totally normal right now. I've talked to too many people who seem to know when they're like 2 minutes pregnant (or say they did, anyway) and I have been thinking, "I don't feel a thing." I need to just let go and wait the damned two weeks! Argh!

And hell, maybe I should go get tanked! Maybe that would up my chances!

[jennbits.livejournal.com]

so, the one time i've ever been pregnant, i knew 2 weeks after conception. i kept waking up every morning at 7am craving oatmeal like fucking crazy.... and i don't ever get up at 7am. ever. when i found myself standing half-clad in pajamas on the aisles of the grocery store scanning the breakfast food, it just hit me. i'm pregnant. the pregnancy tests (all 5) that i took barely could even detect it. so .. it could go either way :)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

So I should just chill about the whole thing, right? That's what everyone is saying. So... I'm going to try. I am. I'm going to try NOT to be a neurotic mess.

I haven't craved oatmeal yet. I keep craving cake with lots of frosting. But hell, I /always/ crave a lot of cake with frosting. ;)

[lorac.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmmm, frosting!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I totally agree.

[thatpatti.livejournal.com]

I'm just a really goal-oriented person and once I set my mind on wanting something, I work it out and make it happen. And this one... well, shit. This one isn't all about my hard work.

it's good that you realize this, because i tell you what - it's frustrating as hell to be all educated and know exactly what's going on with your body and you're doing things "right" for months and months nothing happens, all the while people around you are getting pregnant "accidentally" every.single.second.

and even though that happened to me, too, i still hate people who say "i want to get pregnant in may!" and then do.

heh, you'd think i'd be over this, right? ;)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

It's doubly frustrating because unless we alter our efforts somehow, we get one chance a month. There is so much going into that one chance, you know? It's like we can't afford to be wrong or screw up or whatever; we can't just have a bunch of sex in case we're timing things incorrectly. On one hand it validates my perfectionism in charting, but mostly it just raises the stakes so much.

One of my coworkers started trying by saying, "Let's try this month, I'd like a spring baby," and then totally got knocked up right then. If only I could be so lucky!

[anitsirk.livejournal.com]

oh dear. you have to LET GO of that obsessive need to plan everything, because kids seriously fuck with your ability to plan ANYTHING. like, a plan as simple as taking a shower by 12pm? kids can fuck that up. something as serious as your need to control your bladder when you sneeze? kids fuck that shit up too.

repeat after me: i have no control over anything. i have no control over anything.

it doesn't sound callous at all. i understand the need to plan everything.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I'm not talking about planning out other people's lives. I mean, I can't control Jen and her actions any more than anyone else. I'm just really vigilant about my own life and my own efforts. And that's what's tough about this. I can be really strict about my diet, about timing my medications, about recording fertility signs, about keeping my appointments, and all of that... and even with all of that, it just plain might never work.

I know that this is all about letting go and adapting. I'm open to that. It's just hard right now because I'm /so/ emotionally invested.

[gala.livejournal.com]

Hee! I did a similar thing - I o'd on CD18, instead of my usual CD13, so when I got to CD29 and my temps were starting to fall slightly, I figured it didn't work that time and enjoyed a half a bottle of wine. The next day my temps were back up, and the day after that I had a positive POAS test. :)

Some of the POAS tests are pretty good for as soon as 6 days post-O I think. Depends on which one you get. But yeah, waiting to find out is a killer.
Hang in there, Jude. You too will get to enjoy the feeling of not being able to tie your shoes, little feet lodged in your ribs, pelvic pain from stretching ligaments that make rolling over in bed complete agony, and little heads smooshing your bladder. Can you tell I've hit the point where I'm ready for this kid to come out? :) It's all worth it, believe me.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Do NOT tell me some tests can pick up at 6DPO. Do NOT. I will not!!! :) I'm shooting for 10DPO!

I really hope you're right, though. I really hope I /do/ get to experience all of those things. It's far from a definite for me, for lots of reasons - the PCOS, the lack of an endless supply of sperm, my decision to not pursue things like IVF. I just really WANT it to be a definite!

I hope your kid comes out soon! :)

[meglett.livejournal.com]

hmm, let's see. if you hear billy joel and start to cry, then maybe you're pregnant. (this was an early sign of hope's....um, specifically, The Longest Time)

as for tests, i vote the cheapie $1 tests....we splurged on some digital, but only used it after the dollar tree test looked pretty positive. we only used one and they came in a 2-pack, so we should totally send that other one to you! i can get it in the mail tomorrow AM. FRER tests SUCKED and lots of other folks on FF and elsewhere have had similar results (or lack thereof). but i'm sure they must work on some people. for us, though, they still came up negative on 14 DPO--the day we got the + on the digi and $tree.

crossing everything for you, except for hope's legs, since i'm hoping a baby comes out soon.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't use the "Billy Joel" technique because I've been exceptionally weepy about songs ever since I started taking Clomid. All of this "make me have a working body" junk is really messing with my tough guy persona!

I'm going to look for the $1 tests. I thought about ordering the ones online but I'm not sure they would arrive in time. Maybe next time, though hopefully there won't be a next time.

Yeah, I've heard bad things about the FRER tests so won't even go there. I'm on the hunt for a $tree when I head to RI this weekend.

Congrats on your big arrival!!

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

We will have our embryos transfered on the day you find out "offically" if your PG or not. I'm really hoping you find our you're PG that day and my little embryos stick at the same time!
I know what you mean about the neurotic behaivor otherwise known as POAS. When we were trying the "normal" way I would POAS at 10DPO. Still waiting for two lines...

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm hoping for a HUGE day for both of us! Keeping my fingers crossed for you and Joel. :)

I will probably start to POAS at 10DPO also. I can't wait!! (I hope the trigger is out of my system.)

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm really hoping this happens for us both soon. When we did our IVF cycle in Jan. my trigger was out by day 10 when we took a HPT.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to start testing at 11DPO. If I can wait that long. :)

[sassywoman.livejournal.com]

For me, AF comes around 10-11 DPO so ... I never bothered much past day 10. I you get your BFP!!

[lorac.livejournal.com]

I didn't have any implantation bleeding at all. In fact, I did a pregnancy test at (I just looked it up) 11DPO and it came back negative. So I figured that it didn't work. But I remembered my doctor saying that with a trigger shot I would definitely get my period. So I waited another week but nothing. Then I wasn't sure what was going on and we were in Hong Kong so I couldn't call and ask. So I bought a test there and checked again. This time it had two lines! I kinda didn't believe it at first.

Also, I bought home tests from this site: http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/pregnancytests.html and they are pretty cheap. I still have some and I'll bring them home (but hopefully you won't need them!)

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I hope I don't need them either. I thought about ordering from there but I want to make sure I have tests on hand in time... so this time I will probably go to a dollar store. If I still need the ones you have, though, thanks in advance!

I know that some people don't have any pg symptoms for a long time. I'm trying really hard to be positive. I am!

[stapynam.livejournal.com]

do they have you on progesterone?

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

No.

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

i know how hard it is! are you still charting? if you are, you may see a second thermal shift around implantation.

if you can hold off until you're late, you'll get more reliable results. That said, I tested - when i was 2 weeks late with abby. it wasn't until i got airsick in a plane 10 days after that, that i got a positive.

i also understand the obsessive planning part (remember the sharpie'd toilet?). but everyone else is right, children RUIN ALL PLANNING!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

I am still charting. I am a charting maniac, after all. I'm sure you can relate. My temp went waaaay up today but I'm chalking it up to the weird nightmare I had this morning. Psychostalkers, oh my!

I know it's more reliable to wait. And I'm trying. But waiting is so HARD. So is not obsessing, you Sharpie Toilet Lady!

[estrange.livejournal.com]

I'm back & have been thinking about you! Just so you know - crazy dreams = pregnancy symptom at least for me anyway! My early symptoms before I got a + pregnancy test were: feeling feverish but without a fever, having insomnia, remembering my dreams (which I never do), and having ovulation type aches. Also my pee smelled funny early on & still does and my skin broke out.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

How did your pee smell? That's so weird. :)

Hopefully you're right and these crazy dreams are because I'm going to get a BFP - I'm just not holding my breath because it's only our first time and probably won't be a BFP. Some people say they "feel" pregnant and I don't think I do!

So far, though, the temps are still up and I am trying to stay positive. 9DPO now and I think I'm going to start POASing tomorrow. :)