Hello, My Name is Chill

[judecorp]

I'm up ridiculously early so I can go in for my blood test before a long work day. All told, it will be 7:30am when I leave the house and probably 7:30pm when I return. Not the best day to get a negative result, you know? I wish they had a policy at my doctor's office that you don't go in for a blood test unless you get a positive HPT. I'd rather just sit around and wait for my period to come than get a phone call from a bubbly nurse with bad news. But eh, I guess that's how it goes.

Now we just have to decide what to do next. We're trying to decide if we want to take a break and concentrate on some other things. Jen does not want to take a break. I don't either, not intellectually, but practically? I don't know. It's a lot, and things had finally gotten back to some sort of even-keel place and then this just got the rollercoaster going again - and if it's not the stress and drama of it all, it's all of the ingested hormones. I kind of enjoyed my life as a hormone-free person. It was very chill. Now I don't think I would know chill if he smacked me across the face wearing a foghorn beanie and a t-shirt that read, "Hello, My Name is Chill."

So why I scheduled this crazy day on top of it all is beyond me, except to say that all of this TTC stuff has meant that other things have fallen on the back burner. Silly things like getting kids' annual eligibility assessments done on time. I'm actually doing one at 5:15 tonight that should have been done three weeks ago. Gee, I hope THAT chart doesn't get audited. So I'll go get this bloodwork, then head in for my 3-hour toddler playgroup, wolf down some sort of lunch, go to a home visit in a nasty home, go to another visit way across town, come back this way to co-visit with two of my coworkers that is going to make the mother /super/ emotional, and then hit up this dreaded assessment. And have you seen our apartment? Of course not, because it is an effing disaster right now. We've spent most of our free time looking at apartments that are gross.

Like last night's - it had a lot of space but once again, disgusting stove (gah, who eats on those?) and a pervasive cigarette smell. Like, eons of baked-on smoke. Disgusting.

It's a three-day weekend coming up and I hope it's even mildly relaxing, because this week is likely going to kill me. And it's only Tuesday.

Comments

[laserkitty.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the world of rollercoaster hormones.

I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

My life has always been rollercoaster hormones. Well, sort of. For a long time, I had no hormones but a bunch of testosterone. That was kind of weird.

[estrange.livejournal.com]

I can't wait for your results.

I don't think you should take a break either but of course this isn't my decision. TTC & infertility is really stressful and it will be at any time so since you've already started why not keep going? Just try to hang in there, I know how hard it is & stressful especially the first time. Remember it took me 3 times my first try and then 4 the second and this time it took 7 months so it can happen, it just takes time. I know that sucks to hear. Post about your test results when you get back.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sure we should just keep plodding along because you're right, it's not going to get less stressful after a break or whatever and it would cause a different kind of stress to NOT ttc.

Did you take Clomid for 7 months this time around? I thought you weren't supposed to take Clomid that long. How come you didn't switch to something else?

[estrange.livejournal.com]

The first month I waited to see if I would ovulate on my own which I didn't. Then I took femera (I don't remember how much) & it didn't seem to work so she gave me provera to get my period. I told her I wanted clomid because it worked. I took clomid 4 times, one time it didn't work. The last time she uped it and I ovulated on both sides. I didn't switch because I was ovulating - well except that one month.

I think I read somewhere that the effectiveness decreases after 3 times or you're not suppose to take it after a certain number of times but she didn't seem to think so. I'm not entirely sure.

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's definitely literature out there that says you shouldn't take Clomid for too many cycles. I'm not sure why, but I also know that Clomid stays in your system for up to a couple of cycles after you stop taking it. Femara is supposed to block estrogen in the same way as Clomid (it is a breast cancer drug, I think, or some kind of cancer) except that it is supposed to be out of your system faster and not have any of the Clomid side effects. Then again, there has been recent controversy about the use of Femara for ovulation so who knows?

What did you end up taking as a dose when you got pg? I take 100mg right now, days 3-7. That's what I've always taken, and I usually end up with one dominant follicle and another one that loiters around 13-15mm, so it probably releases too but I don't know if there's a good egg in there.

I'm guessing if this doesn't work the third time we'll move on to something else. Maybe injectibles? Who knows.

[bec4joy.livejournal.com]

**Hugs**

Im sorry Jude & Jen.. It sounds like a rough road you have gone through so far, why stop now? I cant imagine going through what you have gone through so far, and what you might go through in the future. But wont it all be worth it once you do become pregnant? My Good Luck vibes are heading your way.

I cant imagine going through the waiting game every week.. My prompts are to you.. I am going insaine just waiting to test.

Let us know when you find anything else.. Im always here for support and someone to talk to for a listening ear if ya ever need it.

=) take care of yourself!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not just the TTC stress - we have a lot going on and Jen has been really depressed and it's just been a big mess. Sometimes I think TTC exacerbated an already rocky situation and we need to calm down. But then thinking about NOT TTC makes me really upset. It's so lose-lose.

Welcome to the waiting game! Hopefully your stay will be very short. But if you become another one of my friends that gets pregnant with like five minutes of trying then I'm going to have to hate you. (Kidding.)

[sassyjenski.livejournal.com]

good luck!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

xoxo

[hopemcg.livejournal.com]

We're thinking good thoughts for you!!!!

[judecorp.livejournal.com]

Keep thinking of them. Think hard! Make this work!

(We're thinking good thoughts for you, too.)